Marriage

No fear.

There have been many points in my life that I’ve been excited about an upcoming event. Filled with breathless anticipation. Thrilled. Happy. Counting down the seconds to the moment. There was the first day of high school, dates with crushes, proms, graduations, and so on. Events that I dreamt about for days previous.

But always – there’s also an element of nervousness. Of fear. Of anxiety. What if I fall? What if I get lost? What if I forget my lines? Things that put a slight damper on the excitement.

Four years ago today, however, I felt pure excitement. Unencumbered by nerves or fear. It was the day I married my husband.

Now – I planned my own wedding. So, the hours before were filled with anxiety as I put together the final touches on decorations, bouquets, cakes and wardrobe. There was a little bit of nervousness peppering the excitement the day of the wedding. But, 15 minutes before I was to walk down the aisle, my bridesmaids and I were held up in the bathroom hiding while the guests were getting seated. Those 15 minutes, I let go of all fear. I could think of nothing else than the fact that I was about to finally marry the man of my dreams. I was giddy with excitement as people were still asking me where they needed to be and what they needed to do. I think I told several people, “I don’t care!” as I laughed with joy. All I cared about in those moments was marrying my best friend. Pure excitement. No fear.

MrZ and I had dated for three years before we were married. We had faced many challenges getting us far past the butterflies-in-the-stomach phase. Long past the blind lust phase. Far away from the naive and blind love phase. We were solid. We had a foundation.

Yet that day, in those moments, I was giddy. I giggled non-stop. I kept exclaiming, “I’m about to get married!” And for the 15 minute wedding (we moved fast), the pure joy continued. As LilZ and my Dad walked me down the aisle, as MrZ, LilZ, and I lit the unity candle. As we listened to poetry and James Taylor. As we said our vows and exchanged our rings. I was filled with love and happiness undaunted by fear. When we were finally pronounced “married” – I actually “Whoo!”ed. With my arms in the air and everything.

There were many naysayers in our past. Only our closest friends and family saw what we had and trusted it – so every anniversary that passes I love to laugh at those people. The ones that gave us an expiration date. An old college friend actually told MrZ that leaving Atlanta to be with me in Huntsville, would be a mistake. We always laughed at those comments, because it was like we had our own secret. We knew the truth.

Four years later and I’m still just as happy. Just as excited. Just as joyful. Just as blessed to have married my best friend, my strongest supporter, my gentlest critic, my true love.

73 thoughts on “No fear.”

  1. Happy anniversary Zoot & MrZ! May your future years be filled with happiness. Zoot, this was a wonderful post. What a lovely tribute to your husband and your life together. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  2. Congratulations! Happy Anniversary!

    And, what’s this about naysayers? I’m puzzled, because what is there to nay say about? Seriously, from what I can tell you guys are great together. Cheers to many, many more years to come for the Zoot family. 🙂

  3. Happy Anniversary!! You guys have a beautiful family. Down with the naysayers.

    My mom said my husband and I would not last and here we are 15 years in Feb with 3 beautiful children so what did she know, nothing.

    Have a great day!

  4. Happy Anniversary guys. This day was such a special one because I knew you two were to be, and to be together. Have a lovely day

  5. kcalland – Ohio – I'm a full time mom and part time administrative assistant. I like to read books and sit in the sun.
    Kim says:

    Happy Anniversary!!!

  6. Congratulations! I hope you will have a great day.
    Our 3rd anniversary is in 3 days. We, like you, had a Krispy Kreme wedding cake, do you also still celebrate anniversaries with eating way too many donuts?

  7. Congratulations! You two seriously are the CUTEST couple – made for each other.

    What’s up with all these people being up and commenting at these ungodly hours?? 5 a.m.?? Ugh.

    Happy Anniversary!!

  8. Aww, that was beautiful! Congrats!

    And, um, can you tell me the secret of how neither of you has apparently aged in the past 4+ years?

  9. hotfessional – I'm a female I.T. executive whose specialty has somehow become organizational transitions. We've been bought by a rival, which means although I'm helping with the transition project, I'm really working myself out of a job. I am surrounded by males (including husband, son and pets), so I'm definitely not prim and proper. Bitchy and Ballsy, maybe. Hot according to some.
    Ree says:

    Happy Happy Anniversary! Cute pics.

  10. Zoot and Hubby, you are one Rockin Hot couple:)

    HAPPY ANIVERSARY!!!

  11. Happy Anniversary! You guys ARE great together and MiMi and I are very happy to call you Daughter. Somehow I believe that it was YOU that straightened MrZ out during his undecided college years and gave him something to strive for. Again, Happy Anniversary and many, many more.

  12. Have a fantastic anniversary…and many, many more!

    We’ve got 13 under our belt (16 total years together), and it just keeps getting better!

  13. Leslie – Thinking about intersection of Mind, Media, Tech • AI, psychology, wine, food, books, music • AI/ML CMO • McKinsey alum • she/her
    leslie says:

    AWWWW. How sweet! Happy Anniversary!

  14. supertiffx365 – join your favorite supertiff as she celebrates thirty years of super by remembering a person from her past in thirty words, everyday, for a whole damn year.
    supertiff says:

    happy anniversary, zoots!
    what a sweet, sweet post.

  15. That was beautiful. Congratulations to you both on The Big Four! My husband and I have been married four years as well(June). His grandparents give us a dollar for every year we have been married in our anniversary card. She told me that her daddy had done it for her. I thought that was kind of cool.

    We also had naysayers- my favorite was his bitch best friend. SHE ACTUALLY OFFERED TO BUY HIM A ONE WAY PLANE TICKET TO ANYWHERE HE WANTED TO GO IF HE WOULD NOT MARRY ME! She said his life with me would be ” a downward spiral, pure hell, and the biggest mistake of his life”.

    I laugh every time I look at my two beautiful children, my awesome house, and my very own car. Downward spiral indeed!

  16. This is so sweet! Happy Anniversary! My husband and I have a picture of him kissing my cheek from our wedding. It’s one of my favorites.

  17. wordnerd – I'm a proper southern, conservative gal, raised in the south, graduated from LSU...married with a couple of really neat kids... The quote that best represents me and my value system? "Some people are like Slinkies. . . not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
    wordnerd says:

    Beautiful, Zoot. Wishing you many more years together and many more posts just like this one!

  18. Beautiful post! Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!!

    My husband and I had a LOT of naysayers. LOTS. EVERYBODY. Of course, I was 19 he was 18 and I was pregnant. How could they NOT expect us to break up within a year. We’ve now been married for 17 years and I laugh every single year at all the people who are now amazed that we’ve been together this long.

    Anyway, I know you guys will last until you’re both old and grey. 🙂

    Have a happy happy day!

  19. Happy day!

    The Artist and I will celebrate our 16th anniversary in December. Many of our naysayers have had marriages come and go in that time. You just have to follow your heart.

  20. Happy Anniversary. I like hearing about couple that are happy, and really mean it.

    Here’s to many more beautiful pictures of you two together.

  21. oh, girl……..happy anniversary! you know you guys are like my favorite family ever……and you’re so right that you are meant to be together!

    i love you all so much!!!

  22. widgete – College student just trying to make it to the other side while majoring in education, practicing her cooking and make-up hobbies, marching in the band, and living the sorority life...
    Elyse says:

    I can only hope to be half as happy as you are someday!

  23. You make me want to blog!

    Congratulations to you on your anniversary. It seems like this is the subject of many of your enteries, but I have ALWAYS loved your hair especially in high school. 1990, the era of the “poof” was the absolute worst time to be in high school when you’ve been wearing a bob out of necessity since age 3. Seriously, I’ve had the same hair cut for 30 years.

  24. Happy Anniversary!!! I also had a naysayer once, when my bf and I were going through a rough period and one of his friends said to him “Maybe you’re not with the right person…I once had this with an ex, and now with my current gf we’re not like that at all, we’re very happy.” My bf told me, and it really upset me…I couldn’t look at him straight for ages…but now him and his “perfect” partner broke up, and I feel bad about this, but I couldn’t help but smirk a bit when I heard, as my bf and I are still together (4 years next month). Anyway, congratulations!!!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply