MrZ and I have been talking a lot about how — as a parenting team — we manage our time. I think it’s the same discussion a lot of parents have. It is one of the many conversations we have where I think it we have it enough, MrZ may lose his mind because there is definitely a strong circular feel to the discussion. It goes something like this:
Me: You have [insert a random MrZ hobby or task here] that you do X amount of times a week while I [insert a random list of household tasks I do here]. I don’t have the luxury of just deciding what I want to do and DO IT.
Him: What do you want to do? I’ll give you time to do it, just let me know when and I’ll work around that.
Me: I don’t want to do anything but spend more time with my family.
See – It’s like I’m kinda jealous that he has these things he can just decide to do without worrying about who will watch the kids or when will the laundry get done. He’s not doing anything extravagant – he has his gym nights, his marathon training nights (his turn!), and then he has chunks of the weekend where he does the home repair stuff that he totally loves to do. And I guess I’m jealous that all of those things are things he does BY HIMSELF. I don’t really get that ME time.
But – if he said, “Here’s 3 hours. Do something by yourself,” I would feel SO GUILTY I couldn’t really enjoy it. I would feel like a bad mother who guilted my husband into giving me a break, and I would feel like a bad wife who made my husband drop everything to do something I wasn’t even enjoying.
Essentially – he’s screwed either way.
I guess I would just like it if he pretended that I had this really busy outside-the-home life. I would appreciate if he said something like, “Hey – I would like several hours on Saturday to run my long run. What would be the best hours for me to do that to work around your schedule?”
Seriously? I have nothing to do on Saturday but housework and errands and I do them all with NikkiZ anyway – but it would be nice if we pretended like I had other things I needed to do without her. Can’t he just act like he has to find the time to squeeze his stuff in around my crazy schedule because my life is too busy and exciting for him to just assume I’m not doing anything?
My poor husband. He’s screwed either way.