MrZ’s daughter is mildly insane. I like to call her his daughter when I’m describing her weirdness because it makes implies the weirdness is all his fault, which is totally not the case. Not only does she have half of my genes but she also had daily contact with my – magnifying my weird influence to levels untolerable by the average human.
Just for kicks: Weird Things My Daughter Does
Since we now have a fancy refridgerator that shoots ice out of the door, we put ice in her cups of water. For awhile she called those drinks “Ice” instead of “Wawder” because of the presence of the ice. I keep saying, “Ice Water” so she’ll understand it’s still water – just with ice in it. So, now she says, “Ice Ice” to refer to those drinks. She’ll hold it up and say, “Ice Ice” waiting for my affirmational nod. Which I can’t do because I’m trying too hard not to say, “Baby.”
Whenever I hold my phone out to check a message or make a call, she drops everything, looks at me and says, “CHEEEEESE.” Do you think I take too many pictures of that kid?
She likes to pick one leaf off of the shrub by the door everytime she walks by it. Sometimes she’ll forget, but remember when she gets to the car and turn around to go back for the forgotten plucked leaf.
She freaks out when she sees a bike rider on the street. She points and screams some word that I think is supposed to be “BICYCLE!” but sounds more like, “BLHIFDSIJLEJRLW!” One day, the guy we passed on the street going into our neighborhood rode past our house several minutes later. NikkiZ saw him because she was helping me carry in groceries. Seeing the guy, by our house, that we had just seen on the road while driving, nearly caused her to stroke out.
She reorganizes her room whenever we go in. She moves toys, furniture, and garbage cans around and then – at a random point in the process – declares she’s, “All Done.” It’s never the same layout or changes. It’s completely random. Update from 2020: SHE STILL DOES THIS. These mosaics are two years apart:
Whenever she’s naked she feels this incredible need to dance. Not just any dance, but one that involves on hip thrust out with a lot of spinning in circles. And yes, we’ve documented this for her future prom night video.
And then there’s the bathtub. She digs it out from under her crib, unfolds it, and sits in it to read. Many times insisting I sit in it with her with a very demanding, “Sit, Momma!” while pointing to the 4-inches at the foot of the tub. One of these days I’m going to take her up on that – and she’ll never ask again.