I’d be the Mopey Dwarf

I’ve had a weird week. I’ve been a tad bit blue in one of those ways that you just feel sad and you can’t put your finger on why. It could be several things. I’m struggling with a lot of tween-parenting dilemmas I can’t seem to sort out. I’ve not been eating well or exercising as regularly as I’d like. I can’t get caught up on housework and I just finally finished what has got to be the worst period ever. And the entire time, I couldn’t stop thinking: I should still be pregnant. Why in the hell am I not still pregnant. A combination of all of those things have just places me right in the middle of the proverbial DUMP and I just can’t get out of it.

I’m sitting here in my bed, with my laptop, uploading a particularly adorable video to vimeo (it’s taking for-freakin-ever), and finally watching the pilot of Saving Grace. I’m feeling incredibly introspective and am sitting back with my nightly beer and just pondering life. How can someone as blessed as I am allow herself to feel down. There are nineteen bajillion people in this world that would kill for my life – what kind of nerve do I have to be sad.

But still I sit here. Sad. Sad my life is only great and not perfect.

Sometimes I just want to kick myself in the ass. So, I thought if I sat here and typed the insane sadness into my blog – I’d realize how ridiculous it is and you know what? It seems to be working. I’m sitting here trying to justify my sadness with random tidbits of information from my life and it’s doing nothing but making me realize how pitifully ridiculous I am. I am lucky. And I just need to get over my damn self already.

So, how was your day?

Update from 2020: I’ve sense been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and these posts make me wish I had understood those terms and how to find help long before. I didn’t even have the “On Mental Health” category back then so the only category I could put this in was “whine” which is so unfortunate!

25 thoughts on “I’d be the Mopey Dwarf”

  1. My day was just ok. I posted yesterday about the BlogHer do over that I want.

    And yeah… I know how you feel about how my life is good I shouldn’t complain… but then there’s this area over here that I complain about anyways.

    And even though it’s been said a million times… we love you. The internet loves you. And that’s a lot of people yo.

    Could this comment be anymore all over the place? I think not.

  2. Don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes you’ve just got to go with the flow (period joke not intended). I’m sitting on my couch crying over an episode of “Scrubs.” Isn’t that show supposed to be a comedy? Hope your night ends on a high note. I’ve got to stop watching TV now. “ER” is just asking for more tears … I can’t take it.

  3. My day sucked. Well, it sucked for me. If I analyzed it like you are doing, I would have to then say, I’m a lucky person with a lovely life. Tonight I would rather just whine.

    It’s okay to be sad about some things at the same time you are happy about others. I don’t think being in the dumps means you are ungrateful for the good parts of life.

    Maybe you need a second beer tonight. Or less assvice from moi.

  4. We all feel that way at times. Just because things are the worst, doesn’t mean that it can’t be difficult in its own way.

  5. I’ve been down this week as well, though for less good (or even definable) reasons than you. Basically, my thought is if you feel sad, then you have reason and right to feel that way. And help yourself to an extra beer if you need to. πŸ˜‰

  6. Ditto what Kyla said — we all feel this way sometimes. And you know what? That’s OK. You’ll feel better … someday. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s not tomorrow.

  7. Nothing wrong with a pity party every now and then, especially when you recognize the many blessings you have. Sorry you are down in the dumps, I hope that it passes as quickly as possible. Don’t feel bad about feeling bad πŸ˜‰ !

  8. /hugs Don’t feel bad about feeling sad. Sometimes when you have a shite week, you have shite week, and you don’t need a reason! And don’t feel bad about throwing a pity party for yourself… Just because someone may have it worse, doesn’t make your problems any less severe.

    As for my day, I found out I need surgery on my knee. Again. Kinda made for a serious downer, but then I had a great night in my online game last night, so that made me a little happier. o.O I’m a geek like that, hehe

  9. I recognized late last night that I DID lose a baby when I had the emergency ectopic. I’m in the same situation that you’re in.

    Wanna get drunk together?

  10. I am sorry you are feeling in the dumps. Sometimes I think you have to just embrace the fact that you feel sad before you can move past it. And feeling that way doesn’t diminish all the great things you have in your life. Does that make sense?

    And the tween stuff, I am right there with you.

  11. It is life. We deal with it as we can, and sometimes that is sadness. I go through it all the time. I hope things look up!!

  12. Don’t beat yourself up for being human. It’s great that you recognize how great your life is, but you’re still allowed to be upset about the not so great parts. You seem to have a healthy perspective on your life; don’t be so hard on yourself.

  13. Well, I’m pretty sure with everything that has been going on with you lately, I think you’re allowed to feel down.

    But I know what you’re saying. I myself have been having a case of the blahs lately and I don’t know why either. And I have nothing to be sad about. But even when I post, trying to sound and all happy, I get emails like “why are you so glum?”

    I think we all just get like that and it’s perfectly normal.

    Hang in there!

  14. My day was okay. Alliclaus was particularly sweet and there were no tantrums, so I can’t complain.

    I think it is really normal to feel sad about the things you mentioned. Great is great, but surely you get to be sad from time to time.

  15. My life – turns out the guy I truly believed was “the one” doesn’t like girls. So yea.

    But I completely feel you on feeling silly for being sad because I have SO much wonderfulness in my life.

  16. Sometimes, the dumps give you a place to sort through everything and gain some new perspective.

    My day yesterday? Working for a crazy woman, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. πŸ™‚

  17. I do the exact same thing! Blogging somehow does help bring it into perspective, you’re right. I’ll be feeling sad and sorry for myself, then sit down and start to write it all out and realize, wow, I am being really pathetic, considering the things some other people have to worry about!
    However, that aside, that doesn’t mean that we all don’t deserve to feel sad sometimes. So don’t add guilt about feeling sad to the sadness! πŸ™‚

  18. Hey, I think we’ve all been there. Some days you just feel “blah”. Wish for more. Wonder why you don’t have it all. It’s human nature, so don’t beat yourself up.

    Besides, you’ll snap out of it. As my grandmother would say “this, too, shall pass.”

  19. I’ve had a weird week too. I used to use your pink/black flower template (which I adored, by the way) and it stopped working a while back. So I scoured the net for other free templates of yours and found none because the link didn’t work. So I dug up one at another site (which I don’t adore, but merely tolerate) and tried one out, and it’s not working well. So I messed around with it, but screwed it up because I know zero HTML. So I decided to beg you to do a design for me and I’d pay you but the design link isn’t working. So I decided to email you and I can’t find an email link. So I’m blue too, and I can tell you exactly why that is. Oh right, I just did…In short, do you do designs for people any more? Thanks!

  20. It’s important to have perspective, but it’s ok to be sad too. Yes, you have many wonderful things in your life, but you also just miscarried. That’s devastating in a life-altering, soul-crushing way. I have two amazing children now, but I still grieve for the one I lost – and that doesn’t make me any less grateful for the two I have. It just makes me human – just like you.

  21. PS–Seriously on the topic of your post (I commented off-topic up a few) I’ve had times like that too. I think you just have to give yourself permission to whine and feel sorry for yourself for a while and then you’ll be able to snap out of it easier. Sometimes you have enough real stuff to worry about without worrying about whether you should feel the way you do-ya know?

  22. Sweet thing….feeling that way and sooo not wanting to is one of the hardest things to fight. Keep in mind that your hormones are probably all out of whack. You just lost a baby and your body was gearing up for pregnancy and having the baby…and then it got cut off abruptly when you lost the baby. (Sometimes it helps me feel a little less crazy if I can explain things like that to myself in my head and then say see? I am not so crazy after all. And then sob uncontrollably. HA!) Feel better sweet girl.

  23. When I miscarried, I acted like nothing happened. And a few weeks later, I was just sad. I needed to just be sad. It was the precursor to being better.

    Lots of hugs your way.

  24. It is totally okay to feel sad – even when there’s absolutely no reason to feel that way. You do not need to feel guilty for that. Sometimes you just have to feel your feelings in order to be able to move beyond them. I think the fact that you are able to recognize all the wonderful things in your life means you are doing it the right way.

  25. I feel down like that occasionally and my husband always tries to talk me out of it–same as you are doing. Tells me my life is awesome. But that just pisses me off.

    It is OKAY to feel like crap. It is part of being human. Just feel it and remember that “this too shall pass…”

    I just hope it passes soon!

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