My Reproductive Nightmare

Seriously TMI. And not even in a funny way.

This entry was marked private, requiring login, to protect casual readers from a serious case of TMI. However, I have since opened it back up to the public so people looking for my own experiences can see this.

Okay. The bleeding is heavy enough it actually WOKE ME UP. Like, I woke up and thought, “Shit. I need to get up and check that because I’m probably now staining the bed.” See – up until tonight, the bleeding hadn’t been heavy. I passed a few clots, but Friday’s ultrasound didn’t see any more blood, so they thought most of that was over and the rest would just be slight and very brown/old. Which, until tonight, it had been.

But when I got up, I had bled through my clothes. And it was/is RED.

I changed my clothes thinking, “Hopefully that’s it. Some weird burst of leftover blood.” But as I sat there thinking about it, I felt it again. More blood. At this point MrZ had gotten up to let the dog out and I told him what was going on. Because he never panics, he just went back to sleep. And I cursed him for that ability.

So – after bleeding through my second batch of clothes, I decided I might need an actual pad.

Now, I’m sitting in bed and I know I’ve bled a few more times, I’ve felt it, but I can’t bring myself to go look. I am searching too much and never really finding anything that says, “Calm down, Zoot. It’s fine!” Why isn’t that out there anywhere?

Everything says call the doctor for bleeding. But – since I did that on Friday, that feels silly. But – this bleeding is different. (How many “But -“s can I use in one entry?) This bleeding, I think, qualifies as heavy. It’s definitely brighter than last weeks bleeding and there is cramping. I’m guessing all of this allows me to call the doctor first thing when they open, but does any of it make me feel less stupid about calling the doctor? No. I just don’t know. Part of me says, “Woman – you’re BLEEDING. It’s okay to call.” And I am actively bleeding. This is not “dried old brown blood on a tissue when I wipe” – this is “If I were not pregnant I’d be wearing a tampon right now.” Don’t you think that once you worry about soaking through two layers of clothes and onto the sheets – that is too much bleeding? And it’s okay to call in the morning?

Bah. I am literally torn between calling the first thing they open, and feeling like and idiot for even worrying and wishing I could go back to sleep.

But seriously – isn’t several layers of clothing soaked through serious enough to warrant another call? Even though I just went on Friday? Who the hell knows.

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