I am writing this in the morning and setting it to go live later today so that I can make sure those people in my life that need a pre-blog buffer get it. Hopefully, I’ve made contact with them all when this thing publishes. (Junkie – I’m looking at you! I’ve tried calling you a million times this morning!) One of the down sides of opening up your entire life online, the family who keep up with you that way would like the big news to come via a phone call instead of your blog.
Guess what I did yesterday? Took four positive HPTs.
(I’m waiting for the screaming to die down.)
No. We’re not “trying”. But we’re definitely not trying NOT to. The doctor told us the sooner the better since the longer endometriosis has to develop, the more it can impair ovulation. But we hadn’t started “trying” yet because that put so much stress in our lives before. SO MUCH. I wasn’t ready for that again. Of course, in reality? Getting pregnant hasn’t really ever been our major problem. It’s staying pregnant. I mean, it isn’t easy to get knocked up, and the endometriosis doesn’t help, but almost two years without using protection one would hope we’d get pregnant at least once. And we have. I am going at 9am to have my blood taken for the HCG quant. number and my progesterone level. I’ve been reading and re-reading this entry a million times to remind myself that I felt cramps back then and I have a living, pooping, screaming toddler as a result. So, the cramps I’m feeling now shouldn’t worry me.
Dear, God. I’m freaking the hell out. This anxiety – the waiting for the demise of the pregnancy, the waiting for the results, the waiting for the heartbeat – I haven’t missed this bit at all.
I’ll get the results 9am tomorrow. Which means your assignment is to come up with things to distract me the next 24 hours.
The next day…
Well. It’s hard to really explain the whole quantitative hCG number thing because the “ranges” you should hope for are quite insane. But, as far as I can tell, this bloodwork was taken within 3 days of the time we did our first beta with NikkiZ. This time it is 123. It should double every 2-3 days. NikkiZ’s was 1221. So – the simple explanation? No where near as good as her number was.
BUT – (now for the optimism) – my cycle never really got “normal” after I had her. It ranges from 24-30 days long so it’s hard to get a good guess on how far along I would be. If I’m only 4 weeks along? The number is right on track. Also – the ranges that are considered “ideal” are very wide and my little 123 is still, technically, within that range even if we’re as far along as I think we are (about 5+ weeks). Just at the very bottom of it. My hCG is not an overachiever, that’s for sure.
Essentially, on Friday, we want to see the number double (or more) for a sign that my uterus isn’t kicking this embryo to the curb before it even has time to annoy me.
Now – my progesterone levels were also lower than they were with NikkiZ. This could either be because my body sucks and typically doesn’t produce enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy – or it could be because my body has already decided to dump the pregnancy. So – they went ahead and prescribed me the same supplement I had with NikkiZ. Hopefully, if my body is being a bitch and trying to abort this pregnancy, this magic pill will tell it to shut the hell up.
So – MORE WAITING! Don’t we all just love that? Let me tell you, though. It means more to me than you could possibly understand to know that you all were as impatient as I was. That’s better than I can say for my HUSBAND who went to lunch and didn’t pay attention to his CELL PHONE when I was trying to CALL HIM and he is totally grounded for a month because of that.