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I’d prefer farting uncontrollably

I was recently reminded of a bad twitch I used to have in college that periodically sneaks out into my life now. I used to wink at people without meaning too. I tended to do it repeatedly do this guy who worked with me in this computer lab and he was a nice guy but total Christian Conservative type who never judged me for my wild ways, but probably felt uncomfortable that every time I smiled while talking to him, I always had to wink.

I didn’t do it with everyone, it was mainly with the people I should NOT wink at the most. People I just met who walked into our lab for help? Professors in new classes? The new DEAN of the ARTS AND SCIENCE department? Check. Check. and OHMYGOD, Check. It was really bad and I always wanted to apologize when I would catch myself doing it. Like, “Oh. Crap. I didn’t mean to wink at you. I’m sorry.” But I think that would (a) draw more attention to an annoying tick and (b) make me seem like much more of a freak.

Once or twice a year I’ll catch myself doing it in an inappropriate situations (I think I winked at one of LilZ’s teachers a few years ago. EEK.) but as a general twitch it has faded. THANK GOD. And I know MrZ is glad too because he was usually standing there when I did it, resisting the urge to say, “Yes. I’m currently dating that woman right there who just winked at the Dean. I’m very proud.”

9 thoughts on “I’d prefer farting uncontrollably”

  1. Haha this made me giggle

    Actually when I am nervous I laugh. Not just a polite laugh. No a whole giggly, female, flirty laugh. I do with this with men and women alike.

    Boyfriend understands. I hope.

  2. I thought I was the only one who had winking “phases”! There have been times where I felt like it was some sort of compulsion – I couldn’t smile without accompanying it with wink. It didn’t matter if it was my boss, a friend, or a complete stranger. Glad to know I’m not the only one. 🙂

  3. I also have a winking problem, and I have not grown out of it. But I think I do it so much that people who know me, at least, understand that it’s just something I do and I don’t mean to flirt with them.

  4. Man, I’m a winker, too.

    I’ll catch myself doing it and make a conscious note to NOT DO IT AGAIN, but something uncontrollable takes over, and I”ll end up winking 456871 times before I am able to get the eff away!


    At least I’m not the only one!

  5. The wink is so much better than the thumbs up. I kind of hate those because of an old friend who did it a lot. And said “dude” every time. Ugh.


  6. You know, I’ve been winked at before and I always wonder what it meant. Usually, I thought it meant I was supposed to be in on a joke that I figured I had missed. I never thought it could be an uncontrolled thing that just happens without you thinking about it.

    I used to have a ‘clear my throat’ tic which was annoying too. It made me look like I was about to say something important, which rarely happened!

  7. Haha! I did/do the same friggin thing! It gets real awkward when you realize you’ve been winking at the stalkers. This title reminded me of our dear friend Junkie though… You know, with her “thumbs up party” habits!

  8. Oh, lord, I have the same problem! I tend to wink at people if my hands are full when I’m walking past them and they greet me in some way. Like I couldn’t just say “hello”; no I have to wink at them. If I didn’t wink, I’d wave. Gah!

  9. I have severe OCD, which is pretty much the same as having a tic. *sigh*

    But I felt so bad…I was doing mystery shopping once, and I had to write down how the lady at the shop acknowledged me. And she winked. So I wrote down in the survey that she acknowledged me with a wink. The next day I went back to the same shop and got the same lady, and THEN I realised it was a tic. Gah. I wasn’t sure how to approach my mistake in the survey so I just left it.

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