Domestic Me, Thing 1

My poor son.

Remember how I’m letting Bob Harper and Ellen DeGeneres teach me to be healthy? Well – I have been cooking fantastically healthy meals every night this week. Last night, we were eating Orange Roughy, rice and steamed veggies and LilZ said, “Can we eat this EVERY night?” I informed him that I am trying to cook healthier meals, so we will eat healthier every night, but probably not that exact same meal over and over again.

“But we’ve eaten the same frozen casseroles that come in a box over and over and over again.”

Good point.

He also proceeded to get excited at the prospect of bragging about my cooking to his friends at school. He was all, “Now when so-in-so brags about her mom’s meals, I can join in!” I mean – this kid has obviously been devastatingly deprived with my cooking trends for the last 11 years. Not that I didn’t know this already, especially after that time he expressed concern watching someone make lasagna from scratch. “I thought we were having lasagna,” he whispered to me. I told them it was going to be lasagna, and that was what it looked like before it was frozen and boxed and bought by us at Target.

But Lord – I didn’t realize the playground was filled with kids bragging about home-cooked meals. What ever happened to sneaking smokes when the teacher was looking? And talking about drugs and sex and that Rock-N-Roll the kids are listening too. Nope – not these kids. They’re all comparing notes on the mother’s culinary talents (or lack thereof), and LilZ has been losing the battle for years. They probably all pity him and go home and tell their Moms about the kid at school who only eats food from the freezer.

But not anymore! LilZ is one of the cool kids with the cooking Moms now! I can steam rice, dammit. There’s no stopping me. Let’s see the other mothers try that little trick. And my baked fish? I put seasoning on it. Do you think they do that? No. Of course they don’t. He’s totally going to be the kid with the cooking-est mom EVER, dammit. Just wait until they hear about my fierce bean cooking skills. I do it in a crock pot. There will be not stopping his popularity surge then.

8 thoughts on “My poor son.”

  1. um…what is Orange Roughy? oh man how I lack in the cooking arena. I need to do that some more…but it is hard for just one!!

  2. We eat a lot of baked fish around here. I don’t know what Bob would think, but sometimes I have to mix it up some. Breadcrumbs being an extra carb, I bread the fish with almond meal (and whatever spices I feel like that night) from Trader Joe’s. Yum.

  3. Good for you with the cooking! I love to cook also, but I always end up making a dessert to go along with the homecooked meal. Kinda defeats the purpose of a healthy homecooked meal!

  4. Go Zoot! Soon you are going to need to start a recipe page to share these great meals with us! Just make sure it has lots of pictures to accompany the recipes!

  5. my mom was a “thaw the food in the box” type of mom, but growing up I never enjoyed it so I skooled myself in the fine art of “making my ass fatter, from scratch” and I sheepishly admit, when my daughter gets older, I really hope she brags about my mad kitchen skillz. I’m sad tht I will never get to bake cupcakes for her to take to school for her birthday, she has a summer birthday and apparently that whole classroom party deal we all had is now forbidden. But yeah…congrats – you’re becomming a foodie!!!!!!!!

  6. … bow-staff skills, computer-hacking skills, bean-cooking skills …

    Sorry, I watched Napoleon Dynamite the other day.

  7. margalit – Writer, mother of 14 year old twins, living life in the slow lane and working on making the internet a safer place to hang out.
    margalit says:

    My kids friends vie for a place at our dinner table. One of my daughter’s friends shows up several nights a week to have dinner at our house. I finally talked to her parents and told them gently that while I loved their daughter, I couldn’t afford to keep feeding her and the mom told me that she’s overheard her daughter bragging about how many times she’s eaten at our house. Evidentally, either so few people actually cook anymore. or my cooking is stupendous (I’m betting it’s the former) that being asked to eat at our house is a badge of honor. We’ve got a strange kid at least 3 times/week at our table.

    So yes, teens DO compare parent cooking skills, and then find the house with the best food and plunk themselves down like they lived there.

  8. Do you have the rice cooker from The Pampered Chef? That thing ROCKS! It makes perfect rice in the microwave every single time and it’s soooo good!

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