Remember how I’m letting Bob Harper and Ellen DeGeneres teach me to be healthy? Well – I have been cooking fantastically healthy meals every night this week. Last night, we were eating Orange Roughy, rice and steamed veggies and LilZ said, “Can we eat this EVERY night?” I informed him that I am trying to cook healthier meals, so we will eat healthier every night, but probably not that exact same meal over and over again.
“But we’ve eaten the same frozen casseroles that come in a box over and over and over again.”
He also proceeded to get excited at the prospect of bragging about my cooking to his friends at school. He was all, “Now when so-in-so brags about her mom’s meals, I can join in!” I mean – this kid has obviously been devastatingly deprived with my cooking trends for the last 11 years. Not that I didn’t know this already, especially after that time he expressed concern watching someone make lasagna from scratch. “I thought we were having lasagna,” he whispered to me. I told them it was going to be lasagna, and that was what it looked like before it was frozen and boxed and bought by us at Target.
But Lord – I didn’t realize the playground was filled with kids bragging about home-cooked meals. What ever happened to sneaking smokes when the teacher was looking? And talking about drugs and sex and that Rock-N-Roll the kids are listening too. Nope – not these kids. They’re all comparing notes on the mother’s culinary talents (or lack thereof), and LilZ has been losing the battle for years. They probably all pity him and go home and tell their Moms about the kid at school who only eats food from the freezer.
But not anymore! LilZ is one of the cool kids with the cooking Moms now! I can steam rice, dammit. There’s no stopping me. Let’s see the other mothers try that little trick. And my baked fish? I put seasoning on it. Do you think they do that? No. Of course they don’t. He’s totally going to be the kid with the cooking-est mom EVER, dammit. Just wait until they hear about my fierce bean cooking skills. I do it in a crock pot. There will be not stopping his popularity surge then.