Speaking of horrible singers…
I went to Catholic school for all 12 years of my childhood/teen education. In the K-8 school I went to, our grades went to mass at least three times a week. I loved going to mass (Me? I know!) because I luv luv loved to sing the hymns. There were several that were my favorites: “Lord of the Dance,” “Eagle’s Wings,” and “Here I am, Lord.” (If you were born and raised Catholic, you probably know the last two by heart.) I would belt out those lyrics in church like I was some sort of choir leader. Hell, I would sing those songs in the shower, I loved them so much.
One day, when I was nine (I remember this so vividly it is sad), my friend Michelle turned to me in the middle of mass and said, “You know you can’t sing, right? That you have an awful voice? Right? You know that and you’re just being funny. Right?”
I remember the immediate heart-ache I felt. What? ME? Can’t sing? ME? I immediately blew it off like, Of course I knew that, I’m just being funny! but on the inside I was replaying the last few years in my head. Were my classmates talking bad about me like I had heard them talk about other girls who couldn’t sing? When I joined in and mocked the bad singers were they all secretly mocking me? I was devastated.
As the years went on, I got plenty of opportunities to hear myself sing. And let me tell you: Michelle had been TOO KIND. I have an atrociously awful voice. Terrible. Painful. Dreadful. I can not carry a tune in a bucket. I have coped with this over the years and will still sing along with music that I love. (Especially Indigo Girls…I just can’t resist.) I usually will tell everyone around me, “I know I can’t sing. Don’t worry. But I’m going to anyway.” And then they all run away screaming with their fingers in their ears.
Seriously. I can NOT sing.
My point? This is why this phase of the American Idol auditions are so dreadful. I know what it’s like to honestly think you have an amazing voice, only to find out you are wrong. Dead wrong. Now, I would hope someone would have stepped in and told me the truth if I had mentioned American Idol, but if they didn’t? I know the pain of hearing the insult from one girl, whispered in my ear. I can not imagine hearing it from a panel of judges in front of the entire country. It makes me want to puke just thinking about it.
So, yeah. Sometimes people don’t realize how bad they suck.
Now – aren’t you totally dying to hear me sing now? Especially a church song? I know you are.