I am totally worn out from this weekend. I don’t know if it was the manual labor involved with cleaning out the garage, or the 13.5 miles I ran yesterday, but I feel like I was run over by a truck and beat senselessly for the entire weekend. I also feel like I didn’t sleep at all, which may be because: I DIDN’T.
Now – What I’m about to tell you is gong to cause you to shake your head and say, “You’re in for it now, Missy.” Or, if you’re not 95 you might say something along the lines of, “Dumbass.” Brace yourself.
NikkiZ woke up a little early yesterday morning so I brought her in bed with us just to see if she would go back to sleep. Which she did! For another hour! I was totally stoked because getting an extra hour of sleep is something I’d sell my left kidney for some mornings. (But not my right one. Sentimental attachments and everything.) There was a small voice inside my head that said, “I hope she doesn’t expect this to happen every time she wakes up.” But – as you can expect – I ignored that small voice and just savored the extra hour of sleep.
Well – NikkiZ woke up about 11pm last night. And I was so damn tired that I just said, “Screw it. I’m bringing her to bed with us.” I brought her into bed and she immediately went back to sleep. Now, she slept relatively well the rest of the night. Until about 6:30am, even. BUT – she was flailing around the entire time. Punching me in the face, kicking me in the gutt, the usual. So, it looks like I am totally teaching her to wake up so I’ll come get her. (This is where you say, “Dumbass.”) Which, in theory, is not a big deal since I’m a big fan of co-sleeping. But, when the child your co-sleeping with is abusive, it’s a bad situation.
So, yeah. I don’t really want her in bed with us throughout the night. Once in awhile, sure. But not every night. So, of course, I probably should not have done it last night. But I was just so tired! What else should I have done? Let her cry? I’m not totally against that in small doses, but her room is next to LilZ’s – so that’s not really fair to him. She’s plenty old enough to be sleeping through the night, she’s not hungry, she doesn’t need a diaper change. She just wants us. To bring her to bed.
I’m an idiot. The stupid things parents do for sleep that bite them in the ass the next day.
18 thoughts on “Monday Monday”
Oh, I am so there with you. I’ve brought Ess into our bed the last couple mornings to get another hour of sleep, which has totally worked. (The fact that snuggling around her squirminess left me with a major stiff neck is beside the point — I was sleeping!!) But now I have created a major monster. No fun at all. Seemed worth it at the time, though…
You’re not an idiot. Things change every day, that’s all. Tell Miss Snuggly-bear hello from Oregon.
Mornin’ to ya Zoot. From a papa’s perspective I can identify with you. My kids are grown now, but we went through the same thing and everyone survived intact! So just hang on and keep hanging on.
I am sure you have read about our lack of sleeping lately….we finally gave in several days ago and put Scout in our bed. Steve and I didn’t sleep very well,,,because she was all over the place BUT she slept all night! We transitioned her back to her bed and now she is sleeping there….all night long!!! WOO HOO!!
So don’t beat yourself up over it….it will all work out!
I understand; my kids are big enough to come to our bed when they need us.
So, some nights? They’re all there. Along with the dog, of course, and the cat (who apparently likes to purr right. next. to. my. ear.)
Other nights, not so much.
Sometimes it’s at midnite, sometimes it’s at 5:30 AM. My oldest doesn’t come by much anymore. I figure they’ll grow out of it.
See, I made this all about me, didn’t I? I’m such the blogger.
Dumbass. No really you aren’t. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
wow! CONGRATS on completing the marathon!
at least you have an excuse b/c you’re tired. we don’t have one…we just bring her into bed with us anyway. beans still wakes up around 4 b/c she wants some milk. and we usually change her diapie around midnight or 1 – before we go to bed – b/c she’s a pee-pee monster. when she wakes up around 4-ish and doesn’t want her milk? pDaddy (who has the night shift for now) brings her into bed with us so we can all continue to sleep. this has been going on now for a few weeks. part of the reason why we let her is b/c she has been sick w/a cold, fever, cough, etc – on and off – and we just feel bad for her say, “oh she’s not feeling well anyway). but, even the week where she was NOT sick, in any way shape or form, she was still in bed with us.
i will now fill out the membership form for your “Dumbass” group.
we are totally struggling with that too. Wah Wah is old enought to sleep by himself but because he has never been bottle fed ( mean formula) and Moo was always so he would sleep through the night sooner …..cuz he had a full bottle….anyway trying to break these babies of your bed (yes the flailing nd the SCRATCHING HELLO!) its harder than it looks, especially since we never went through this with Moo.
OK, here I am a dangerous dumbass – but we resolved your issue with the littlest one when I did the same thing you did – let him in bed with us one night because of exhaustion and it then became three nights in a row and I knew the habit had to stop … “oh, little one, you must be having a pain somewhere, here is a small dose of orange medicine and you will be just fine to go back to sleep in your big boy bed” (yes, I feel guilt). After two nights of “medicine” he stopped waking and coming to our room and we have enjoyed relative peaceful sleep ever since… I did switch a medicine bottle to corn syrup with orange food coloring so I wasn’t actually drugging him…
Yeah, we are there too. My son is two and just so sweet. He’s been in our bed for six months now. It’s awful – but not really! He looks at me at 7:00PM and says, “A show?” Then runs back and plops in our bed, points for me to turn on the fan and television, turn off the light and smiles as we snuggle together and watch “The Colbert Report”. While he is totally running my life, he’s just so chubby and yummy, I don’t mind so much.
Zoot, just look at LilZ and realize that NikkiZ will be there in no time. If you get to spend a little more time with her at night (and hopefully get a few hours of sleep in between being beaten with toddler fists and toes… oh how those toes can cause pain!), enjoy it. My G-Man is 18 months old and still will only sleep in his crib for four to five hours a night and then wants to be with us. I figure, as long as he is in his own bed eventually, I will savor the bruises he gives me now because I get to smell his hair a few hours at night.
Whatever gives you the most sleep I say, but then I’m not the one getting punched and kicked! lol
By the time they become teenagers they definitely won’t want to sleep with you anymore, so it will resolve itself eventually see!
I miss you. I work too much now to read blogs much. 🙁
Are you still all over Jody Sweetin?
Did you know Bob Sagat has a horrid potty mouth?
Yikes, you just can’t win, can you? Hope you get more sleep soon!
My distaste for sleeping with a noisy, grunting, snorting, kicking, flailing infant, was the only thing that kept me 100% persistent in making sure they slept in their own beds. Plenty of time for snuggling during the daylight hours! 🙂
We recently bought a king size bed for that very reason!!! I am a big fan of co-sleeping myself! I say don’t worry, with mine it was just a stage they went through!! They both sleep through the night, nap really well and are just basically happy bebes.
Anything you can do to get extra sleep is TOTALLY worth it in my humble opinion! Good luck!!
just came across your blog, via my mother.
hope you don’t mind me dropping in from time to time.
I know exactly what you are going thru. Being that both my husband and I worked, the extra hours of sleep that we could get just by letting the kids sleep with us was the most precious thing that we could ask for.
It took awhile for us to get them out of our bed, but they do eventually grow out of it.
Congrats on your running.