Parenting, Thing 1


We had our first bully incident yesterday. I’m not going to get into the details of the encounter because I’m not sure a certain pre-teen would appreciate it. Just know it was LilZ trying to stand strong against a bully. While the bully wasn’t impressed.

Since it occurred after school, while the kids were waiting for the bus, the security guy wrote it down in his magic notebook and said they’d meet about it today. LilZ seemed a bit unsettled by it all, but not as much as I would have been. He’s just so damn laid-back. I told him I was going to call the school today to make sure there was a follow-up. They take bullying very seriously there, the principal even gave out her home phone number to report cyber-bullying that may occur after school hours. They insist that if they nip bullying in the bud when it first shows it’s face – they can prevent an epidemic of it.

This has me beyond freaked out. It wasn’t a huge incident, no one was hurt or anything. But – I’m a mother. My son was threatened. It makes the den-mother side of me rage in ways I probably shouldn’t transcribe. I would love to go up there and cause a huge scene to make sure this kid is kicked out of the school. Hell, I would love to kick him out myself. Do you think they’d let me?

No, I know. I don’t really think the kid should be kicked out or anything. Nor will I go up there and raise a stink when my son is old enough that a move like that could cause embarassment on a deathly level. But I will call. And I’ll try not to refer to LilZ as “my baby” while conveying my concern. This is new parental territory for me. Territory I hoped I’d never have to cross. Territory I’m incredibly unprepared for. Freaked out is probably an understatement – now that I think about it.

That’s it. Nikki is grounded until she’s 25.

13 thoughts on “Bully”

  1. One of my sons was bullied this summer at the ball park. My son is 5; the bully is 9. It enraged me, but at the same time, my hands were tied, ya know. Finally, my husband had a little talk with the boy and threatened to tell his dad if it continued. The bullying stopped, thank god. I’m not big on handling the situation for the kid, but desperate times call for desperate measures!

  2. OH MY GOD! Poor LilZ.
    I know i know…calmly contact the school and try not to loose your shit. You’re a far better parent than I on that level.

    p.s. You’ve always been a cool kid. 🙂

  3. My brother was bullied a few years back. Kids followed him home, threw rocks and broke his arm. Because my brother tried to defend himself, HE got in trouble, too. As a mere sister, I was white-hot with rage. For the first time, I had a small inkling of how it must feel to be a parent and my heart cracked a little for my dad and step-mom knowing how helpless they felt to be unable to protect their son from physical injury like that. Oh, and my brother has mild learning disabilities, so he’s had a lifetime of being picked on, that was just the most serious one. sigh.

    It seems like LilZ is handling it well and since you are backing him 100%, that is the most important thing. Hang in there.

  4. I SO feel your pain. My oldest son was bullied in elementary, and the school just kind of blew me off (not to mention, PISSED me off). It makes you feel so helpless. Now? My son is 13 yrs old and 6′ tall. The kid that bullied him? My 9 yr old is just a little shorter than him. The lesson? You should never bully in elementary, as that kid might grow up to kick your butt. Now my son tortures that kid. And the school blows his parents off. Karma is a beautiful thing…..
    Enjoy this phase-now my 13-yr old got a concussion at this football game on Wednesday and within a day, wanted to play football again. I believe a concussion is God’s way of telling you NOT to play football.
    And by the way, just from the things you’ve said, I can’t imagine NikkiZ getting bullied.

  5. Ugh, that’s one thing I sooooo dread. I want to go over there and kick that kid out of the school myself. Or kick his parents. This has to be nipped in the bud. Good for the principal for being proactive about being contacted when these things happen. I hope LilZ isn’t too freaked out about it and this bully is put in his place ASAP.

  6. I know I don’t usually comment but crap. Can I go kill him? After all i’m the grammy. Can’t we blame it n old age or something. You know, take the focus off of you? I can do this you know, because I really, really want to. And you can’t cause you’re Mom. grrrrrr. I have no idea what to do about bullying…

  7. My oldest son gets picked on about 3 times a school year and I’ve blogged on it (because he doesn’t read mom’s blog) and yes, it makes you want to march up to the school and kick the shit out of the little punks who do the picking.
    But, yes, I do also attempt to calmly let the teacher/school handle it.
    It sucks, the mama lioness comes out and you go in to protect mode, but it sucks because you don’t want your kid to get more hassle because “his mommy” had to come to his rescue.
    Being a mom is exhausting…and bullies are the worst.

  8. Ugh. This brings back memories when my youngest brother was mercilessly bullied by a pack of heathens for months in elementary and junior high school. I was in college and my mother would call me completely distraught. The schools never handled the issue well. Now he’s the captain of his volunteer fire department and an ambulance driver. Maybe a day will come where he will be saving their life and they will remember each other. One of the parties will be very grateful the other is there for them and not holding a childhood grudge.

  9. Our kids are lucky that schools today have a Zero Tolerance policy for bullying. They take it completely seriously, unlike when we were kids and getting bullied meant putting up with it. God forbid our parents should confront the bully’s parents, which usually meant even worse bullying.

    Last year, my oldest son got in trouble for defending a classmate (a girl) who was being pushed around at recess. My son got sent to the office for putting his hand out to stop the girl who was doing the pushing. He thought it was unfair, but the point of Zero Tolerance is ZERO tolerance, and we had to live with it.

  10. I totally know what your feeling. We’ve had some bully issues at our school too. Go kick some butt Zoot!! It’s so hard not to want to jump in an “handle” it. As mom’s it’s in our blood!

Leave a Reply