MrZ is all energetic and enthusiastic about all of the wonderful things he’s going to do to our house this summer. The painting! The building! The cutting of wood! The building of dog doors! He wants to finish all of the house improvements this summer so that next summer he can make the yard all pretty and nice. He’s going to move the fence, and plant grass, and he’s constantly asking people about their bushes and flowers and what kind of light they need and when should they be planted.
All the while? I’m trying to act like I care. I mean, I am so proud of him and so glad he’s so ambitious. I really am. If it weren’t for him? Everything would just rot away while I ate chips and watched TiVo. But, I honestly kinda don’t care. I know I should! I should want flowers! And bushes! And mulch! I see people who have gorgeous yards and flowerbeds and think it would be awesome to have those. But – I don’t really care enough to put forth the slightest bit of effort to make it happen. I pretended like I cared last summer, I planted like – two flowers. But this summer? I’m finally admitting I don’t care enough to get off my ass.
He’s mapping out flower beds and reading about mulch and I’m trying to figure out if that patch of grass is dying because I keep pouring the last bits of my diet cokes out there before I throw the cans in the recycle bin. It’s too hot to do things outside!
So – if you’re keeping track at home? These are the things I don’t do:
I Do Not clean anything that I can’t see.
I Do Not cook anything that requires more that four steps or more than ten minutes of prep time.
I Do Not iron.
I Do Not clean the bathtub more than three times a year.
I Do Not sew.
I Do Not kill bugs.
I Do Not paint.
and now?
I Do Not do anything in the yard that requires planting, digging, watering, or pruning. I WILL sweep the porches and throw away dead plants that have died because I forgot to water them. But only if we’re having company.
MrZ is such a saint.
Note from 2020: Donnie is currently revamping our whole back yard and talks to me about his plans every day and let it be known: My apathy has not dissipated in 14 years. I’m still just faking enthusiasm. I mean, I love that he does this stuff but…you know…not as much as HE does.
My “Will Not Do” list is exactly the same… except I do paint. No joke! Glad to see there’s someone who gets it that these things do not NEED to be done.
How funny I just posted some of my weird- I do not- rules over at my site. Then because I have no work to do at work I thought I would hop on over and read what your up to.
Apparently, the same thing I am. Too funny!
oh…you forgot one…you dont clean your oven.
Dear Zoot… just take a look over on my blog my ginormous list of things I need to do by July 11. And keep in mind I haven’t done some of the things on that list in MONTHS. I think you’re a far better wife than I am because a) at least you cook and b) at least you clean. 🙂 Got any tips for me? Please? LOL!
HAH, your ilst sounds like mine. I used to iron all the time when we first got married, now I only iron his shirt when he has an important meeting. Cleaning bathtime and vaccum is his duties. I did paint the whole place, inside when we moved to our current place three years ago. Now I can’t stand painting. When our daughter was born, it took me 2 weeks to finish her room, I’m not talking about a huge room here, just your standard size bedroom. As for yard work, bleh, can’t stand them, can’t stand planting anything. I will water them if you plant, that is the extend I will do.
I used to iron. But then I burned my knee. So the iron can now kiss my butt.
Er, not literally. Cuz I don’t want a burned butt.
YEAH! Someone else like me! I do iron (out of necessity) BUT my wonderful sweet daring husband does not seem to be anywhere near as handyman-esque as Mr.Z…shit we are in trouble when we buy a house!
Does Mr. Z have a single older brother????
He does sound like a saint!
You’re cute…and you take after your Mom…sorry…
Oh, the ironing! How I loathe it! My mother will actually iron my work slacks because she knows I won’t do it. Really, crinkled is the new ironed, right?
But, I actually iron Chloe’s clothes. Chloe tiny freaking little clothes. I don’t like it. But I do it.
I do it all and even enjoy most of it, except killing bugs. We have a gardener who mows and weeds, but I LOVE gardening.
Tell me you’re kidding about the bathtub????!! Nikki bathes in those.
Your husband is one of the good guys.
If ironing means tossing the clothes you want to wear in the dryer for a few munutes, then I iron.
I cook, he sews. Whoever goes to bed last cleans up after dinner.
The rest of the house? We keep it “picked up”, and keep the floor vacuumed (2 Rottweilers, 2 Cats, 1 me with long hair – can’t not vacuum) but other than that whoever gets squicked out first cleans whatever squicked them out. 😉
Luckily for me, I DO NOT have a yard!
You made me laugh lady. Thanks.
Not only is Mr. Zoot a cutie, but he’s a saint too. You’ve got a good set up Zoot.
I had Spence read this post last night and he thought I wrote it at first. He gets so frustrated with my hate of all things yard. I can so relate!
See, but it’s good that you found each other. The unbridled enthusiasm and the apathy cancel each other out, so it’s okay.
Also, ironing? Haaaate. I try to reason my way out of it whenever possible. “Oh, that’s on the back of my shirt; it’s probably gonna get wrinkled anyway!” “Oh, this print totally hides the wrinkles!” Actually, I just “wet” the wrinkles out of my shirt this morning.
We must be long-lost sisters! I don’t do everything on your to do list either, except my cooking mainly consists of heating things in the microwave. I much prefer to open a bag, dump it in a bowl and push the magic buttons.
Male nesting.