I’ve mentioned before that I have this habit of buying new calendars halfway through a year and rewrite birthdays and appointments in it because after six months, the one from the first of the year looks too ratty. All of the times I rushed to jot something down or cross something off? Makes the calendar start to look “ugly” and I can NOT have that. Note from 2020: Bullet Journaling changed ALL of those tendencies!!! Well, it was that same “thing” that made my favorite studying technique in college involve re-writing my notes in a neat, color-coded fashion to “help” me study. This was handy during my quest for my Biology degree because chemical formulas or cellular processes require gobs of flow charts and arrows and it’s no wonder the subject was so appealing. It made owning 20 pens in 20 different colors understandable. I guess it’s a combination of my love of pens, writing, and neatness that causes these type of neurotic behaviors in me.
This “thing” also made me want to keep a diary growing up. (That, and Harriet the Spy.) The idea of a blank journal that I could write my deepest darkest secrets in (I think Ryan L. is soooo cute. I wonder if he’ll ask me to go with him?) was so appealing. However, I never trusted that my stinky brother wouldn’t read it, and the thought of rewriting everything if it got messy was daunting, so I never got a good start. Don’t get me wrong, I bought dozens of blank journals to use, but I never got very far before giving it up. I couldn’t continue to write in a journal that may have had a few words crossed out on previous pages, or that my handwriting didn’t look nice enough, so I would just put it away and try again when I was able to start over in a brand NEW journal.
(Writing this out makes me realize how neurotic I am.)
But now? Have you SEEN the cute blank journals at Target? God. It is enough to make me want to drop this blog and try to write a journal again. Some of them are soft, some are shiny. Groovy colors and thick paper. *drool* But, my same “issues” exist and after it got too messy, I’d have to supress the urge to “start over” by rewriting everything, and who wants to do that? So, I resist the glittery covers and the ribbon decorations. I resist the oriental embroidery and the crisp blank pages *double drool* and I just keep writing in this damn thing.
BUT – not all hope is lost. Who asked for one of those groovy polka-dotted journals to write “stuff” in last night? LilZ! He was just as pulled by the potential those blank pages had. He said he might use it to write some of his stories in. He could have said he was going to write about how much he hates his mother and I would have still bought him as many as he wanted. Of course, it’s probably a trait he’ll curse me for passing down to him in the years to come, but if it helps justify me buying those cute blank notebooks? I’ll feed it like wildfire for now.
dude needs a blog.
I think I’m afflicted by the same thing you are! I love me some blank journals. Since my mom died before I got married or had kids, I never had any idea how her pregnancies went (my dad’s memoryies? ha ha). So instead of baby journals, I started a journal for each pregnancy, documenting how I felt, etc. Then I continued it on recording all the funny things they do and height, weight, foods they hate, etc. I hope they appreciate it when they get older!
ACK
I am the proud owner of 2 nearly blank journals – one for all my frickin’ POETRY (o la la!) and the other for my deepest dark secrets, which I am too afraid to share, or have ripped out pages in it later when I did dare to share.
YES – I saw those cool journals at Target last week. I did buy a small notebook, though. For notes. Not thoughts or secrets or secret thoughts. I also have to resist the nice journals at Border’s.
You have the best kid evah! He’s so nice to help you along with your addiction.
I Looooove office supplies too. My day is ruined if I’m not armed with my favorite pen (Dr. Grip in pink). Seriously, If I don’t have my pen, I would consider going home. Who wants to use the cheap pens my office buys.
I guess you’re not the only neurotic one.
LOL. Can you buy me one too?
damn, I’m going to have to go to Target today!
Oh my, we are WAY too much alike! I love when school is about to start because I can go down the school supplies aisle and get to see all the new pencils and pens and notebooks and ziploc pencil holders. It’s almost as fun as an office supply store. I hope LilZ uses his crisp, new notebook for his stories. Then you’ll be able to just keep buying him more.
RIGHT THERE WITH YOU on the color-coded college notes. I used to buy those extra fine V-5 pens in every color of the rainbow.
Seriously, if you or LilZ ever need a blank journal, just call me. Between my addiction to Target stationary clearance and the fact that everyone and their uncle buys you journals as gifts when you are a quote-unquote writer, I have like an entire bookshelf full of unused ones.
I have about 12 journals that I’ve started, and by entry 10 they’ve gotten too messy for me to continue and I eventually start a new one only to continue the pattern.
Unfortunatly, I have horrid handwriting.
I’m the same way, to a lesser extent. If I’m writing for any significance at all, I have to have pretty pens that write smooth and bold, and if I screw up, I’ll just rip the whole page out and copy it again from scratch, even if I was at the bottom.
And I HATE gel pens. Those things SUCK.
Ohhhhh – I LURVE those notebooks at Target, I’m always supressing urges to buy them. Every now and then I do give in though, BUT! I justify it by using it as my “date book” and my “to do list” book, and our “food shopping list” book. I feel that way I can buy the pretty books, use them, and totally justify my need to have bound stacks of paper with pretty, pretty covers to my husband without him thinking I’m a COMPLETE lunatic. He still thinks I’m nuts for having a book for each list of things I have going on/need to do…
OMG! I thought I was the only one…I kept thinking it was my neurotic lack of being able to ever complete a project, but there is nothing better than a brand new journal and a pen that glides across the page! I have half a bookshelf full of half-full journals! I think you are the best for making it OKAY to be a neurotic office-supply buyer!!
I’ve been buying those journals for my little girl. She’s 5, and fills them with various letters and not-quite-words. And I love it! I used to buy journals by the handfuls, but never wrote in them. I would freeze up at the thought of “ruining” them by writing in them. I’m so glad my girl not only loves them but USES them! Go get NikkiZ one too – she can chew her way through it 😉
Oh i have DOZENS of journals in my parents attic and No matter how much I blog I have a stacked graph paper journal next to my bed. I just can’t let go of physically writing. I find that I censor less because it is not as easy to delete what you have written!
are you me? I do the exact same things when writing and with pens..geez, were pen souls!!
eht, pen-cils!!
are you me? I do the exact same things when writing and with pens..geez, were pen souls!!
eht, pen-cils!!
My kids love notebooks too and they are the one thing I really don’t have a problem buying on a regular basis – the blank pages are filled with random thoughts and stories and one priceless picture of a yellow flower with a cartoon bubble over it’s head wishing it was a pink flower – so indicative of how my girlie feels. I keep all of them.
i did that too w/ the notebooks – my handwriting would change because my hand was tired, or I accidentaly looked up, and I’d tear the page out and start over. I think that’s why I like to blog, because it’s ALL IN ONE FONT 🙂
I’m considering trying one of your free templates but having a little trouble – can I email you?
*raises hand* Yup, I’ve the same neurosis. Mine cost me a lot of sadness though.
I decided to take ALL of my handwritten journals with the white-out, lined-through words and retype every word onto my computer. Then I tossed each and every one of them (because another neurosis is that I *hate* clutter).
I was even smart enough to back it all up on a disk. Yay me.
But…….
I lost that disk and my computer has crashed a few times.
All of it? LOST.
What I miss the most was the 15 year old me that was so boy crazy and wrote stories about her future being married to (boy of the week). Although I was cringing the first time I read it as an adult, but now? I just *know* it would make me laugh.
Sigh… if I could get a time machine, I’d go back to the time that I threw those journals away.