Parenting, Thing 1

Poop tickets

Monday is here. AGAIN. What is up with Mondays and the fact that they just keep coming and keep sucking and there’s just nothing we can do about it? Screw immigration policies and gas prices – Let’s find a way to make Mondays not suck donkey balls.

Where was I?

My weekend was nice. I had a good Mother’s day yesterday with my family. I ate way too much food, but I’ve had a healthy week so I didn’t feel too guilty about it. I actually told myself, “You deserve this third peice of pie for all of the grapes you ate this week!” I have a feeling if I rewarded myself like that every week? I’d never lose the last 7lbs of pregnancy weight. But – it was fun last night.

When we went to Staples yesterday we bought a roll of tickets for a totally rocking idea that I found out about last week. LilZ and I were going to spend some time putting words on the backs of the tickets and they play the “Story Game” where one of us draws a word – starts the story using that word – and then the other person continues the story using another word from the pile and so on. We were trying to decide how many tickets we should write “poop” on until we realized this was supposed to light a creative fire and since we make jokes about bodily functions all the time? It wouldn’t be much of a challenge.

Unfortunately, as usual, time just got away from us and we didn’t get a chance. Poop tickets or not.

(Poop tickets? Hee. Yes, in our house there is a guy outside the bathroom waiting to collect your ticket if you’re going to poop. You only get one ticket a day. This helps us cut back on frivolous bowel movements.)

I’ve been feeling the pull of trying to schedule time with both of my kids equally. LilZ is old enough that he can be independent and entertain himself for long periods of time, so it’s easy to just let him do that while I tend to domestic obligations and taking care of an infant. I have to make the decision NOT to do that though, because I’ve worked eleven years to give us a very close relationship, I don’t want to lose that. He is so understanding when we lose our chances to spend time together – but I don’t want him to become bitter about it later. So, I am going to make sure he and I get a chance to play with those tickets tonight.

He is growing up so damn fast. I would like to put that on the docket with Eliminating Crappy Ass Mondays: Children Who Won’t Stop With The Aging Already. Those are two issues I would like solved some time in the next session of Congress – Thanks.

8 thoughts on “Poop tickets”

  1. God, I know. The summer between 7th and 8th grades, I grew about a FOOT… no exaggeration. I was constantly cleaning out the fridge and asking where all the milk went.

    On the bright side, you don’t have to worry about sprouting hips and boobies and fighting off boys with a pointy stick for at LEAST another ten, twelve years. Plenty of time to perfect your aim at the shooting range.

  2. God girl you are killing me today! I LOOOOVVEEEE your new (ish) blog design templates!!!!!!!!!! I would die for one! Well, not really but almost and you know what I mean lol!

    I am kicking myself in the ass for not having FREE BLOGGER right now so I could use your amaizing templates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    DAMN.

    Is there anyway around the fact that I have Typepad? Ugh.

    I am SOOOO OVER my pink and purple design that I have now.

    Love them all! You rock!

    I would love a new design to go with my new (ish) pregnancy!

  3. PS If there isn’t a way around that — do you ever just do blog banners? If I found the image that I like and told you the exact size and colors I would enjoy, would you be able or want to make a banner? I would definetly pay you for one!!!!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Fast aging kids? You have no idea how much I need that legislation hurried into place. Just yesterday my two were toddlers, and they have suddenly become 11 1/2 and 14 overnight.

    Stop the madness!

    Oh. And the poop tickets. So love the poop tickets.

  5. I just consulted my copy of the Art Rules and it says that up to 26% of the tickets can be bodily-function-related. So you should be cool.

    So glad you’re trying this! And you did deserve the extra pie.

  6. Frivolous Bowel Movements, oh my! Especially when they require a double-flush! And don’t get me started on toilet paper abuse…the horror! There is a Poop Epidemic on this planet and it MUST BE STOMPED OUT!

  7. We call toilet paper “poop tickets.” If the “train” is leaving the “station”? You need a ticket.

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