Thing 1

He Got Me

For the last several years, LilZ has periodically come home with schoolyard riddles and jokes to tell to us.

Say the word “lettuce” and spell the word “cup”

Of course, we have heard them all, and since we’re both too immature to just humor him, we always have to tell him we’ve heard it before. We’ll either just point blank say, “no” or we’ll use our snotty tone that implies “duh…” at the end of the joke. Sometimes, we may have not heard the joke before, but we don’t act humored enough for LilZ so he always walks away irritated he couldn’t “trick” us to any degree that we would find impressive. We’re kinda snotty like that.

This has made LilZ (who is also very Type A) work even harder to try to trick us with riddles or jokes. Which, of course, has made us resist them even more.

There’s a red house and a blue house on a street, so where’s the white house?
Duh. In Washington, D.C.

And every time we burst his bubble by not falling for the joke, or for figuring out the riddle, he gets really irritated.

JEEZ. Can’t you just pretend that you’ve never heard it?

All of this may seem kinda harsh for MrZ and I, right? Why couldn’t we have just pandered to him each time and let him get the thrill of “tricking” a grown-up with his sly jokes. Why couldn’t we simply play dumb? Well, because we are jackasses, of course. But also? Because we knew it would make the one day he truly “got” us that much better.

Or at least that’s what I’m saying now, since he totally “got” me last night.

Him: There’s a turtle turned over on his back. How does you get him flipped over the right way without touching him?
Me: Um, I use a stick?
Him: Nope. That’s still touching him. Take the “t” out of “turtle,” the “c” out of “back,” and the “f” out of “way”…
Me: furrowing my brow and concentrating because I don’t get it…um…there’s no “f” in “way”…

Update from 2020: I just told that one to Wes and he cracked up.

See LilZ waiting to see if I was being serious with my confusion and then cue him laughing hysterically and triumphantly…NOW! And see me taking a minute to get it and then BAM! I get it! And LilZ can now go on with his life knowing he “got” me with one of his jokes. The joy he felt last night was a release of YEARS worth of frustration and irritation. It was hysterical. He was so proud. Hell – I was proud of him. That was a damn good joke.

No effin’ way.

16 thoughts on “He Got Me”

  1. I’m laughing, too. Tell LilZ we’re all proud of him.

    (I’m gonna try that one at Easter and see if any of the family has heard it before)

  2. Wow that was a really cool joke! He made it up and he’s only 11 way to go!

    I had to say the lettuce one a few times before I got it tho… I think it’s my English accent.

  3. That is a GREAT joke…I am going to tell my friend tonight! I have been tryin to make her laugh all week…and the best I could do was a slight chuckle at:

    If April Showers Bring May Flowers…what do May Flowers Bring?

    (Answer is Pilgrims).

  4. That is actually my FAVORITE joke. But my version goes

    “How does a frog with no legs and no arms get across the highway?”


    “Take the F out of..”

    Yup. Just thought I’d share.

  5. Hahah, I love that one! Except here it goes “How do you get an elephant on the subway?” “…take the ‘s’ out of sub and the ‘f’ out of way” and…yeah πŸ™‚ . It’s good to just watch while they try and figure out what the point is or why everyone else is laughing, heh.

    It always gets people the first time. Once I was to dinner with about 15 people or so, and this girl went through it to the group at large, and none of us got it at first, until this one girl was like “Oh I get it! There is no ‘f’ in way!” The rest of us heard it and got it, and then about five minutes later same girl was like “WAIT! I GET IT NOW! Like there’s no EFFIN way!” And then we proceeded to crack up…again πŸ™‚ .

  6. I totally fell for it the way you did. I was reading through the solution, and I thought “hello! there is no “f” in “way”. I am SO confused!”

    Good one LilZ!

  7. I didn’t get it until I read the comments. Shame on me. Finally, I have something to get my kid with. He thinks he is so much smarter than all of us little peons.

  8. Love it! The best Ariel ever got me was still when at 8 she said…”Mom, I’ve got some bad news you’re not going to like…Alex and I kissed at school today, and now he’s my boyfriend. (then a dramatic pause while I try to process that) But the good news is I saved a load of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.” πŸ™‚

    How freaking cool are our kids???

  9. I just heard a really corny joke that I thought if you could ask lilz.

    Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 8 9(seven eight nine)

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