Domestic Me

Meat Tray Artist

I mentioned before that I’m still a bit nervous around a lot of MrZ’s family. There are just so MANY of them…and they are all so much fancier than me! Well, Christmas eve night they were all going to mass leaving MrZ and I (the heathens of the bunch) at his aunts house. I asked his aunt if there was anything I could do for her while they were gone.


She asked that I put together the meat and cheese trays close to when they’d be getting back so that dinner would be ready when they got home from church.

WHAT? I had no idea how to put together a meat and cheese tray. She went and washed lettuce and told me to just “lay it out under the meat and cheese however you think is the prettiest.” WHAT? I don’t know how it would look the prettiest because I don’t know how to do it! PANIC!

So, off they went to be good catholics while I stood in the kitchen looking at the empty trays and piles of meat and cheese and having NO idea where to begin. My stomach was hurting and I was getting a headache all over those damn meat and cheese trays! I felt like my reputation was on the line. What if they came back and everyone thought they were ugly? Would they excommunicate me from the family? Would they refuse to eat it until I made it better? Would they THROW it at me? In fits of meat hating rage?

(What? Me? Overreact? NEVER.)

But seriously. I was stressing hardcore over it. I kept calling MrZ over and interrupting his quality time with his grandmother to say things like “Should I do these in wedges or stripes?” or “I have to put two cheeses next to each other…is that a sin?” or “The roast beef rolls are smaller than the ham…WHAT DO I DO?!”

Do you see what fun it is to be married to me?

I finally got them all prepared and I had several people tell me they looked PROFESSIONAL. Which, of course, made me so proud I am now showing them here. For all the world to see.

The sexiest damn meat trays EVER.


14 thoughts on “Meat Tray Artist”

  1. And no one who knows your family doesn’t doubt where the heck you got that “hysteria” from…………It does look beautiful. I’ve overslept so I’m off to work…
    Love you

  2. Zoot – as a former professional meat-and-cheese tray maker (at a supermarket), I must say that these DO look professional. Sorry you had to go through all the stress (I’m the same way!), but it came out great.

    BTW – I think it’s funny that you would overreact so much about artistic expression when you do such awesome web designs. I guess the pixel and the luncheon meat are two different mediums, though 😉

  3. Oh girl I am SO the same! If anyone ever asks me to do something like that, I freak out completely ’cause I have NO idea what to do. I’m glad I’m not the only one! 🙂

  4. I freaked out over a completely green and red veggie tray I made for a Christmas party. I couldn’t possibly have two vegetables the same colour next to one another!
    I also made dinner for a friend last week…homemade pasta and homemade alfredo sauce, caesar salad, garlic and chili chicken…and then I almost cried when I accidentally burnt the garlic bread. He laughed at me.

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