Thing 2

I walk funny.

We had been hoping for a Bjorn carrier for NikkiZ for awhile, but it really was the lowest on our list of needs because they’re some damn expensive. My brother and his girlfriend gave us some Target bucks so we opted to get a generic and cheaper version of the Bjorn carrier. And I decided to break it in yesterday.

I took NikkiZ to the Target shopping center near my house. I put her in the carrier which she HATED. Well, she hated the process because no matter how much money you pay for the damn thing, it’s still a backpack that holds a baby and can NOT be an easy thing to get into. I got her in it and covered her up with a blanket for the walk to the first store. She fell asleep on the walk and slept in that carrier for almost THREE FREAKIN HOURS. Do you know what that means? It means I got a CRAP LOAD of Christmas shopping done. I kept thinking, “She’s going to wake up any minute now and want OUT of this thing.”

But did she? No! Because she loves Christmas and just the act of shopping lulls her to sleep!

Or something like that.

The thing is though, with those carriers, is you have to keep bouncing. Well, I don’t know if you HAVE to, but you are afraid if you stop, the baby will wake up. So, I was doing this Bounce Walk thing while pushing my buggy through Ross. At one point, someone walked past me to look at something in the aisle I was on. Then, they turned to me, smiled and jumped a little bit saying, “Oh! A baby! How cute!”

Evidently? The carrier does not make it obvious it is holding a baby. As the day went on I had several of the same reactions when people got close to me. Which means for the three hours of shopping, people were seeing my Bounce Walk and thinking one of several things:

(1) She walks funny. Does she need to pee? Why doesn’t she just go to the bathroom?
(2) She seems jolly. I wonder what she’s on? And would she share?
(3) Dude. Stay far away from that lady, she KRAZEE.

Did they notice the backpack thingy on my chest? Then possibly they’re thinking:

(4) Dude. She MAGNA-KRAZEE – not only does she dance while she walks, but she doesnt even know how to carry a BACKpack. It goes on your BACK, lady. Hence the name. Jeez.

So – next time you see a lady Bounce Walking at the store? Don’t write her off as psycho immediately. See if she’s carrying a baby, and if she is? Slip her some cash. She probably needs it. Especially if she’s me.

8 thoughts on “I walk funny.”

  1. whats hilarious is that after 5 kids…i still do this bounce walk thing when i pick up my cats! *lol* yep….welcome to mommyhood! ‘kay that totally makes me sound crazy doesn’t it? *lol*

  2. I’ve promoted the Bjorn carrier on my site endlessly because it’s the best baby invention ever, closely followed by the wipee warmer. I used to be all, “NO carrier comes CLOSE to the Bjorn!” but it wasn’t because I really knew, it was because I spent $90 freakin dollars on a carrier and I had to justify it somehow. Then my friend had a baby and she spent $20 on one at Target which looked identical to the Bjorn. So I tried it. And whaddaya know? SAME FREAKIN THING! Just $70 cheaper.

    And I always walk with that bounce. But mine is more like a bounce, bounce, sway…. bounce, bounce, sway….It’s just habit now. I’m hoping I stop doing it by the time my kids are in high school. ‘Cause that’ll just be weird.

  3. Too funny!

    Love, LOVE the Bjorn – I had already gotten my money’s worth by Week 2 (he’s nearly 8 weeks now). I call it the patron saint of Productive Mothers.

    A friend of mine adopted her son in Russia and they only took the Bjorn with them. Yep – they traveled throughout Russia with only a Bjorn (no carseats in Russia and their carseat was waiting for them in the airport parking lot back here).

  4. I don’t have a bjorn, but I do have an Over the Shoulder Baby Holder sling that my son loves. He’s still so small though that all that sticks out ever are his feet. I get really weird looks in the store whenever I wear it and have had an unbelievable amount of people do a double take and then exclaim “Oh! Do you have a baby in there, hon?” No. I’m shoplifting. Idiots.

  5. what is sad is when you find yourself doing the bounce-walk, or the baby-shuffle-dance when you are ALL BY YOURSELF at the store. It is a sure sign that you need to get out more. By yourself.

  6. Zoot – you do not need to keep bouncing! Although I can only imagine how hilarious that looked. The baby will stay asleep because she is on your chest, hearing you breathe, and by the sheer motion of your walk. I used to wear the baby’s in the bjorn all the time and I could sit on the couch – they’d still stay asleep!

    As for having NikkiZ sleep wtih you, I loved it – however, the baby doesn’t need a pillow. 🙂 If you are sleeping on your side – she’s perfectly fine to sleep next to you – flat on the bed. You shouldn’t have to contort your (already exhausted) body to make her comfortable. I know you do it because you love her, that’s what makes you a good mommy. You need to be rested and NOT in pain so that you remain being a good mommy!

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