Parenting, Thing 1

Not a PTA Mom

LilZ is going on a big school trip in the Spring. To raise money for that trip, his class sponsors the Secret Santa store every year and the proceeds get divided up among the kids whose parents volunteer. So, of course, I volunteered.

But I really DID NOT want to go.

All afternoon I was moaning, “I don’t want to go! Wah!” I had called the school to see where to go and they mentioned they had multiple parents signed up for my shift and none during the day shifts when they really needed them. I took this as a sign that I could totally skip if I wanted. I was whining about it so much that LilZ even said, “You don’t have to go if you don’t want.” Just so I would shut up.

At 4:45 (my shift was from 5-7) I told LilZ, “I don’t think I’m going to this thing tonight.” And the look on his face was of SUCH disappointment that I did the mature thing, stomped my foot and said, “FINE! I’ll go then, but I REALLY DONT WANT TO, DAMMIT.”

Maturity is my middle name.

We went. And it was HELL. Boring and weird and my GAWD they were selling GOBS of really cheap items (cheap as in “shitty” not “well priced”) and the kids were buying them up left and right. Weird. The woman in charge had been there all day yesterday AND the day before, with her 8 month old with her the whole time. Her 8 month old who is the 5th of FIVE FREAKING KIDS.

Now THAT woman is active at her child’s school. I could barely make it out to work the Santa shop for two hours, and here she ORGANIZED the damn thing. And even more importantly? She seemed like she ENJOYED it. She was obviously just an escaped mental patient. There is no WAY there are moms like that for REAL.

And if there are? I don’t want to know.

I did my part and LilZ thanked me profusely this morning, which was sweet. He knows how much I hate that crap. And I know how much he appreciates me doing it. So the compromise? I volunteer to do it for him and he deals with my bitching about it without punching me in the face.

It’s a good system.

11 thoughts on “Not a PTA Mom”

  1. You do not understand the existential dread with which I face my annual school volunteering duties. I regard those happy worker – types with fear and fascination, as if they were some weird alien species. I just cannot for the life of me get into that rah-rah-rah, go-team-go headspace. Therefore, I usually donate money rather than my time.

  2. WAnt to know the secret to avoiding these things? MAke excuses, be non-commital saying things like “I’m not sure” and “I have plans.” YOu really don’t HAVE to say those plans are trips to Krispy Kreme that just Happened to pop up 2 microseconds after you were asked… you have plans. Its not a lie unless you said I had plans… Okay PTA mother, I know this is scourge, but having a troupe of preschoolers throw miracle whip pies at my face is not my idea of a good time. I’m paying for the school, and I;ll foot the bill, somehow, in order to preserve my dignity and sanity. Yes, I am selfish… oh well.

  3. Thansk Zoot! You gave me a nice giggle this morning. Lil Z is such a good kid. I hope I am that lucky when we have kids!

  4. I’ve always felt so bad asking for parents to volunteer to help at school. Thankfully, I only asked them to come along on field trips so that always was fun for them. The pubescent kids weren’t too much for them actually because I’d threaten the kids before we left. LOL I’m excited for Malia to go to school Well, not really.

  5. You know I was looking at the pictures of NikkiZ crying in the post below and I thought that I bet you looked like that too while planning to go as a chaperone! At least you lived through it!

  6. Gah. That did sound excruciating, indeed. I would imagine that while it would be easy to say no to the ADULT organizers, it would be so hard to say no to your CHILD son. Sigh. Good for you for sucking it up and making LilZ happy.

  7. She was definitely not real. A Stepford wife perhaps, or a well-made cyborg. Or on Meth. Not real though, definitely not real.

  8. We have one of those cyborg things on our board too…she does EVERYTHING. She is pta president at 2 schools, volunteer coordinator, student council advisor, etc. etc. and also has a full time night job…go figure. We get frustrated because she doesn’t ASK us to help, then bitches because she is soooo tired. Whatever…go figure, her kids are overscheduled too…Y, young ambassadors, soccer, piano lessons, etc. etc.

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