Pregnant, Whine.

I’m melting

Do you know that I LOVED being pregnant with LilZ? Considering how unplanned the pregnancy was, and that I gained 65lbs during it, and that I was poor and the state was having to pay for my OB/GYN visits, I STILL loved it.

Of course THAT? Was in the WINTER. Now? I’m pregnant in the summer. Here are some of the new things I’m experiencing this time around.

SWELLING
I gained 65lbs with LilZ and never ONCE even had a toe look puffy. I wore my jewelery the entire nine months and never once had blisters on my toes from where my feet had swollen so much midday that my shoes no longer fit right.

But NOW? I’m wearing a 5 dollar fake silver wedding band because I can’t stand not having SOMETHING on that finger. I have blisters on all of my toes and am down to about THREE pairs of shoes I can wear. All of them are flip flops.

My Ugly Thighs
Holy Shit, my thighs are ugly. I always joke that I didn’t think I had ANY stretch marks with LilZ because I couldnt see the parts of my body where they were at. That extends way beyond stretch marks, I realize now. Having gained 65lbs and topped out at 198 pre-delivery, I know for DAMN sure my thighs were a lot bigger than they are now, on my 149lb body.

But I never saw them, because it was WINTER and I was wearing PANTS.

But it’s summer now, and I’m wearing shorts and sundresses everyday. My GOD…my thighs are pregnant! I told Amalah that I attempted putting on a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans (because I was feeling suicidal) and I could not put them up past my KNEES. My KNEES are now fatter than my pre-pregnancy hips. My thighs? Just lauged at the jeans stuck below my knees and said “Heh. You didn’t REALLY think you’d make it up to us did you?”

Boob Sweat AND Ass Sweat

Holy SHIT. The sweat.

First of all? I am not a sweater. I am the type of person whose face gets REALLY red, but I rarely sweat. It always scared teammates and coaches when I played sports because I got SO RED. So, needless to say, being pregnant with LIlZ in the WINTER did not challenge that at all.

But now?

Do normal, non-pregnant women get boob sweat? I’m not sure if I’ve never experienced it because I never sweat, or it it was because my boobs were so small. I went to lunch today in a non-air-conditioned car in 105 (heat index) temps and when I came back to the office? I had BOOB RINGS. I had semi-circle sweat marks UNDER my boobs. And waistband of my skirt? Was soaked with sweat because the sweat STARTED under my boobs and dripped to my skirt.

SEXY!

And don’t get me started about the ass sweat. I’m leaving sweat marks in my chairs, people.

So. I’m sweaty, stinky, and swollen. Pregnancy in summertime ROCKS.

37 thoughts on “I’m melting”

  1. Just try and remember, some day you will look back on this fondly (having conveniently forgotten the sweat and swelling) and say something crazy like “I loved being pregnant with NikkiZ”! Trust me.

    Also, I can’t wait to find out who finds your blog by googling “Ass sweat”.

  2. I feel your pain, girlfriend! I had my son on July 27th–now he’s almost 8……
    The horror goes away…my biggest problem was that the cats loved me because I never moved because it was so hot (and they could lay all over me–you can only push them down so many times before you give up). After I had my munchkin–cats started peeing under the crib because they were mad that I never sat down.

  3. I can totally relate. I was pregnant all summer and delivered both my boys in August and September respectively. I felt like a beached whale. I was never a sweater until I had children now I am. My hormones are messed up and I sweat all the time even in the winter. Unfortunely I have boob sweat. so sexy.

    All I can say is hang in there and try to keep cool.

  4. I can totally relate. I was pregnant all summer and delivered both my boys in August and September respectively. I felt like a beached whale. I was never a sweater until I had children now I am. My hormones are messed up and I sweat all the time even in the winter. Unfortunely I have boob sweat. so sexy.

    All I can say is hang in there and try to keep cool.

  5. Ok. Am not pregnant. Do have AC in the car. And have little boobs (as you well know). My boobs are a sweatin’ too girl. It’s just this freakin’ Alabama heat. Which I’m loving boob sweat and all. But, am not pregnant. THANK GOD!!

    You are now experiencing the pregnancies I had with the girls. The foot swelling? Will only get worse. I’m sorry to say. Please be sure that you allow NO ONE to take pix of your feet in the last at least 6 weeks. You’ll never want that reminder except of course to show NikZ what you went through for her.

  6. we adopted our kids so I fornatunately???!!!???? didnt experience pregnancies, but I just have to say…your ass sweat comment was too funny. Im sorry to laugh at your predictament, I feel for you really, but OMG ROFLAO!!!!!

  7. eek…thanks for the description! I’ll be sure to plan any children I may have to coincide nicely with freezing weather… I can’t even imagine how uncomfortable you must be. But! Baby Girl! Yay!! Eyes on the prize, Violet, eyes on the prize…

  8. I am so with you on everything.
    Summertime pregnancy is absolutely horrible.
    My daughter was born in February. I long for the days when I could cover up all my jiggliness with big sweaters and jeans. Now I’m walking around in tank tops and shorts and STILL sweating to death and you can see every single pound that I’ve gained. It’s dreadful.

    I keep telling myself to hang in there, that next summer will be better …. but it’s getting harder and harder by the damn day!!!

  9. Not pregnant, but sweat. It’s this crazy southern heat and humidity. Yikes! One thing I have found that helps is I put a little bit of deodorant under my boobs and it seems to help stop the sweating. I had to get a fake ring when pregnant with Pookie too. I just couldn’t stand not having anything on that finger.

  10. Let me assure you that girls of the non-pregnant variety suffer from boob sweat. When I am cursing the sun and the heat later, I will remember that it could be worse. I could be sporting a small human as insulation.

  11. My oldest son was born in early October so I got to go thru the whole summer pregnant too. Just be glad you don’t pass out every time you walk more than 5 inches out the front door into the heat. I hardly ever left the house and then only to go to the OB/GYN….they would pull the car into the yard so the door would be almost against the front door of the house so I wouldn’t pass out.

  12. AMEN, sistah! Summertime pregnancy sucks. This weekend holds the highest heat index of the year (feels like 115 in the shade) in my town AND the first day of my 36th week of pregnancy.

    But as much as I hate the sweating and the horrible humidity and the feeling like I’m gonna die when I get into a car that’s been parked in the sun, I can’t imagine being pregnant in the middle of winter either.

    As klutzy as I am, I’d be scared to DEATH about the whole fall-down-go-BOOM thing that comes along with the snow and ice. But then again, my car is CRAP for handling in the winter, and now I’m gonna have a bitty baby in the backseat when my car’s fishtailing down Main St. and skidding through red lights, and I’m just forcasting either a lot of stay-at-home time and cabin fever, or a lot of freaked out trips to and from WalMart.

    Maybe I just have to start looking on the bright side and stop rambling. 🙂 I DO know how you’re feeling right now though. Ass sweat is one of the many new joys I’ve discovered this year. They should totally make some form of clothing out of that flexible ice pack material. Bras and undies, at least. We’d buy it, right?

  13. I’m going to send you some moist towelettes.

    Some baby powder, or some nicely sented stuff from hard candy will help with the sweat. But part of it is that you live in like the muggiest place in the world…it’s humid in the south.

    I didn’t get any streatch mark untill the last two weeks and they weren’t that bad…hopefully, you’ll get as lucky. I want to know how people walk away with none, and wear those shirts that show their bellies off and they’re smooth. WTHell…not fair I tell you.

  14. oh I feel ya. I could only find one pair of shoes that didn’t kill me yesterday. and they were pink with sparkly flowers. and did NOT match what I was wearing.

    And the sweat!!! I too was a red-faced non-sweater. Now? Its pouring. FROM EVERYWHERE. I’m wondering if I can make it through august.

  15. When I was a skinny, nob-kneed little girl, I was a sweater. At 28 weeks pregnant? I feel like a freakin’ fountain.

  16. I so thought I was the only one with the boob and ass sweat going on! It’s to the point that I do not like to go outside. Since I’m a teacher and just moved to a new city, I really don’t have to in the summer, which makes me paler than the white walls, but I avoid the sweating.

    I’m also not generally a sweater, so it really bothers me! But, my boobs at only 15 1/2 wks have ballooned up to D-cups and are starting to spill over, so there’s a lot more area for sweat. And you know where else is bad? When I sit down my lower stomach near the hip crease. We are talking slimy sweat you can’t believe! And always the sweat line down the center of the ass of my underpants. SO DISGUSTING!

  17. I’m with you honey….You’re birthday is 7/14 ….Pregnancy, and summer are just dreadful……….You will look back on it a bit better, really…in about 10 years..

  18. Do you have any Anti Monkey Butt Powder laying around the house? I highly recommend it for boob and thigh sweat. (For real, y’all. I bought some for my husband as a joke, tried it my own sweaty self, and frickin’ love it!)

  19. I have boob sweat in the summer….I’m not pregnant, but mine are gigantic. Oh my gosh, I never thought about boob rings….I wonder if I have them but can’t tell when I do because I can’t see below my breasts…and no one will tell me? The horrors!

    At least your situation is temporary. Mine is going to require a breast reduction surgery!

  20. My babies were born in October, October and September so I feel ya on being pregnant in the summer. When I had my oldest I ran into my midwife in the hallway of the hospital after my daughters PKU test (3 days post delivery) and she said “OMG I didn’t recognize you! I didn’t realize you were so swollen at the end of your pregnancy!” Um thanks?

  21. My boobs sweat, I thought everyone had that. I don’t soak shirts or anything, but it’s 102 today and has been in the 100s for over a week, so I’ve had plenty of dampend bras. Pregnant in the summer does suck…

  22. Dude, you’ve just made me less grumbly that I’m due in February. Of course, winter pregnancy might be a whole ‘nother ball of wax in the Ottawa, the second coldest capital city in the world…

  23. Pregnancy was my only ass sweat time but I’ve been blest in the chest and these girls do sweat. In fact, I don’t sweat much of anywhere else (I’m the red-faced, stroke-mimicking type) and can forget deodorant (only twice!) without making my neighbors pass out from the smell but the bras definitely tend to be a bit damp by the end of a summer day.

  24. Ohhhh Zoot, LMAO!!!! I’m trying hard not to laugh because I feel your pain… with 2 of my 3 children I had summer pregnancies with and OMG did that suck… I had all of the symptoms you’ve mentioned.

    I feel your pain hunny…. here’s hoping october gets here soon, lol

  25. I can’t say “boob sweat is normal”…but I get it.

    My face turns red…but I still sweat. I’m not pregnant and it is horrible. Could you imagine if I was? My car has no AC, my house has no AC..granted I live in Pennsylvania…but I believe it is supposed to be 97 tomorrow, not factoring in heat index stuff.

    I’m making a note to myself to never be pregnant in the summer. I work with a woman who is 8 months pregnant and just wants to get that kid out of her in this weather.

  26. Being gifted in the chest area, I have dealt with boob sweat for quite some time. Recently, a friend told me a secret to control boob sweat: ANTI-PERSPIRANT! Never occurred to me to use it under my boobies. And it works!

  27. This post was so damn funny! Not funny that you are having these sympotms…just funny- reading! Hang in there! By the way…I get boob sweat and I’m NOT pregnant.

  28. Yeah- we’re just about due date buddies, you and me, and I’m feelin’ that pain! I scooch out of seats now to try to hide the fact that I leave butt prints. It’s awful!!! And just think, we still have August; lovely, humid August… Oh the joy.

  29. Hang in there my Alabama momma to be. Boob sweat, ass sweat it will all be so dang worth it when you are holding the next zoot! P.S. Yes I have boob sweat too and I am not even pregnant. Baby powder with cornstarch is a live saver and smells great too.

  30. There are already a lot of comments on this post, but I’m chiming in… months later… anyway.

    I get such terrible boob sweat if my temperature even rises a couple degrees. In the summer, I sometimes stuff kleenex in my cleavage, and walk around like that, to soak it up.

    I’m so trying the deoderant under the boobs trick, but I wonder if it works in cleavage too.

  31. hahaha i just googled boob sweat and it came to this. i can’t stand boob sweat, it’s the worst. and no one can relate because none of my friends have huge tits. haha and normal non pregnant women CAN have it. if they have large breasts. haha. :]

  32. Ohhh… I feel your moist pain. BTW, I found you after googling “boob sweat.” Never been pregnant, don’t plan to. But boob and ass sweat, yes.

    Sweat on, sista!

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