Family

My Brother Is An Alien

My brother and I are VERY close and have been our whole lives. I loved having him around when my friends came over as a teen and I still love visiting him as an adult. He makes me laugh like few people in the world can.

However, we are about as different as different can get.

Right now, my brother is neck deep in training for an Ironman Triathalon in November. I talked to him on Sunday and he had just finished running 13 miles, and on Saturday, he biked 80 miles. In essence? He traveled NINETY THREE miles last weekend and never got in his car. 93 miles. NOT IN A CAR.

And then, he emailed me this morning, and this is the signature on his email:

“You know your a triathlete when – you find yourself in bed early on Saturday night, But there’s still a chance you’ll be throwing up come Sunday Morning”

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Is that true? Are you throwing up because you ran so hard Saturday? Or are you PLANNING on running on Sunday? And if you KNOWN it will make you throw up, why do you do it? Parmesan cheese makes me have severe tummy problems, so I don’t eat it. See? Logic. Why do something, especially EXCERCISE (eek!), if it might make you puke? WHY? Is that quote supposed to be funny? Does it make my brother laugh? If so – WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?

AND who in the HELL bikes 80 miles on a Saturday and then goes and RUNS 13 on Sunday? CRACKHEADS. That’s who. Take a break and eat some donuts on Sunday, don’t go run a half marathon! Oh, and don’t even get me started on the “diet” he’s on to prepare himself. Let’s put it this way. Donuts are NOT on it. And if I’m going to be running 13 miles in ONE DAY? I’d better get a damn donut afterwards.

Update from 2020: Donnie has done an Ironman now and I ran 68 miles once in a race so I am much more understanding of this side of my brother now ๐Ÿ™‚

My brother is insane. Of course, I’m very proud of him, but he’s still an INSANE CRACKHEAD.

16 thoughts on “My Brother Is An Alien”

  1. My brother used to throw up after track meets. Sick, isn’t it? Life without donuts isn’t living! LOL

  2. Very well put. I’m just with you on the donuts, for sure..Puking has never appealed to me even if it mean I’ve done something great…..But, like you…I Love him too, I just don’t understand….

  3. What is WITH these people and their exercise???? It’s a FILTHY habit. I’ve never understood it.

  4. I have 3 guys at work who are bike obsessions. They go on 20 mile bike rides during lunch and now have started to ride into work on their bikes (varies from 20 to 50 miles one way trips). They log into some site to log their miles and then all day I hear how they compare themselves to other bicyclists on the site. One of them had the gall to ask a head VP what does it take to get the whole company to ride their bike into work every day!
    If I want to work out – I will do my own thank you very much!

  5. Ahh siblings…they’re great. Always entertaining and provide a wealth of blogging material. Hehe! Just think how boring life would be without them. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. My own brother ran a super-marathon a few weeks ago (50k) and spent some time this weekend explaining to us the difference between dehydration (which he experienced) and bonking. Both are bad. I had a question for him: “Are you freaking insane???”

  7. Have you heard about the runners trots? GAH! I would never in a million gazillion years do something that resulted in a predictible shart or pooping of the pants. I only run if chased and I’ll only break out into a full on run if I’m being chased by a bad person. Which I’ve never had to do so even that is only a theory.

  8. Have you heard about the runners trots? GAH! I would never in a million gazillion years do something that resulted in a predictible shart or pooping of the pants. I only run if chased and I’ll only break out into a full on run if I’m being chased by a bad person. Which I’ve never had to do so even that is only a theory.

  9. I am training for the Pikes Peak Marathon, which means I run LOTS on the weekend (both Saturday and Sunday, at least 18 miles each day), but I draw the line at training hard enough to throw up. I will not do ANYTHING willingly which makes me vomit. I’d rather come in last in the race than consent to throwing up.

    And also? I’m so over the special diet thing. Bring. On. The. Brownies. Athletes need extra calories.

  10. I had that problem while I was swimming. I threw up every practice. Five hours a day pracitcing, sore the next. In October I just asked myself, “Why the hell am I doing this? It hurts…” I quit a week later. Haha. Sometimes its worth it, sometimes its not.

  11. 13 miles and no donut? Yep, that’s why I’ll never be a triathlete…well that and this big fat butt of mine, but no really, it’s the donuts…

  12. Um, I’m with you. That’s like when my hubs tells me he wants to train to ultimate fight. Let’s see, you want to take time away from your family to get beat up, in preparation for getting beat up some more. Ok, sure hon… have fun.

  13. I’d have sworn that I left something here yesterday…

    I used to race bicycles, and I did a special diet for it. It was the “eat everything that doesn’t run away or fight back when you bite it” diet. Donuts were a big part of this. I used to eat five of them at breakfast, after the eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast. Those were the days.

  14. The throwing up Sunday is from the exercise planned for Sunday. Every year there’s puke just over the finish line for the 10K I run in May. Last year was the WORST. Seriously? There were puddles every few feet apart for at least 40 feet past the finish line and from one side to the other. I’ve never puked from running… of course, I’ve never beaten my father either so maybe I just don’t push myself hard enough.

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