Limbo

We’re still not done painting any ONE room in our new house. We made some great progress and are ALMOST done with several – but it gets stressful because we just didn’t realize how long this was going to take. If we could just ditch the rest of our lives and paint 8 hours a day – all would be fine – but we can’t – so it’s taking forever. So, another weekend has passed and we made great progress, but Mother’s Day kinda slowed us down a bit – so we didnt finish with the rooms we were working on.

It’s weird – we’re living in this bizarro limbo world. We own a house, but we arent living in it yet. We arent even MOVING to it yet because what’s the point in keep carrying boxes over when you don’t have rooms to put them in. We have a list of things a mile long that we wanted to do to the house before we moved it. But now? We’re taking everything off the list but the bare essentials. We’ll move in as soon as its all painted. Screw everything else. Who needs toilet seat covers anyway?

We’re also in limbo with the whole pregnancy thing. I’m pregnant – but still no where NEAR comfortable discussing nursery furniture or paint colors. I still add the phrase, “Hopefully…” whenever MrZ or LilZ says “We’re having a baby!” It’s like – it has the potential to be real – and logically it probably will – but I can’t stop the fears and the nightmares and the anxiety that still have me convinced I’ll miscarry. Ask MrZ – he’ll vouch for my insanity. He has to deal with it every day – bless his heart. He’s such a good husband.

So in essence? I’m in a weird place right now. Incredibly ready to move into the next phase of my life, but none of it quite seems real yet. Moving into the house will help – but it probably won’t be until the baby is crowning until I’ll accept that I’m finally having a child. And then I’ll be all, “Shit! We didn’t even buy a crib yet!”