Adulting, Domestic Me

NOT Easy As Pie

This is a list of ALL the things that went wrong yesterday:

1. We couldn’t find someone to tell us who to get our certified check for closing costs made out to. The lawyer OR the law office. You would think we had been searching for the meaning of life for as long as it took to find someone to answer that simple question. (Answer: Lawyer).

2. The billing coupon they gave us for our second mortgage (we got a 80/20 loan – two mortgages) was 300 dollars TOO MUCH. The only reason why I didnt stop the process at that second and run out of the room screaming, is because I was ALMOST certain that one of the ninety million pages I had signed had the CORRECT number on it. So – our first 30 minutes as homeowners were spent harassing our loan officer in panicky voices (all me – MrZ opted for the cursing under his breath while driving option) until we found the paper that had the CORRECT number and were told that the other sheet was just a “typo.” A freakin TYPO? On our MORTGAGE paperwork? Shouldnt there be ways to prevent that? Like PROOFREADING?

3. We got to our house and the mystery leak that was only there the day of the inspection and never returned for the homeowners. Was back. Of course.

4. I threw the bag of keys and garage door opener in my purse to leave our house. MrZ’s car was parked in the garage and pulled far enough in NOT to block the motion detector of the garage. My purse pushed the button on the garage door opener and it closed down on MrZs bumper, taking a nice six inch strip of paint with it. I knew he wasn’t going to be happy about that. I was worried that my garage door was going to be damaged since I knew the repairs costs would wipe me out.

5. Then when I came back to the house, I pulled in TOO close and hit the work bench in the garage. When I pulled back, my front license plate took part of the work bench with it.

6. I broke a curtain rod in the living room.

7. Cisco ran around the house inspecting it for a good ten minutes sniffing away. He then projectile vomited on the living room floor. Our house has been christened.

That’s ABOUT it. I think. But even with ALL of that – we’re still homeowners. And that’s pretty damn cool.

29 thoughts on “NOT Easy As Pie”

  1. We must be related some how. Whenever I have something big and important taking place all kinds of crap happens. If things went smooooothly I would know something wasn’t right… seeing what kind of day y ou had…..your world as a homeowner is going to rock! Congratulations! And tell MrZoot thanks for giving you the scoop on my daughter. He is a schweetie.

  2. I didn’t mean you had to actually *do* something to cause your first repair bill! :o) Sorry it was such a rough first day… I’m looking forward to all your remodeling stories.

  3. That’s what I tell everyone…everything should be proofread!! Of course, I am a senior proofreader, so I may be biased.

    (You got me out of lurkdom by mentioning proofreading…yeah, I’m a dork.)

    Sorry it was so rough for you guys…it will get better. You’ll always remember the day you became homeowners though, right??

    Congratulations!! (and congratulations on the pregnancy…Mike and I are always wishing you tons of good baby vibes!) =)

  4. oh my god. Too bad you can’t drink…cause you totally deserved one yesterday. The garage door. HAHAHAHA! Sorry that ones funny.

  5. YEAH! You broke the house already, the dog puked on the floor, and your mortgage is screwed up from the start. Sounds about par for the course.

    When I got my last mortgage, the bank paid off my home equity loan, but “by mistake” paid it to the wrong account. We came home from vacation to find deliquency notices in the mailbox. Yeah.

    1 week before moving into the new house, the furnace broke, the upstairs plumbing froze and destroyed the living room ceiling. We spend 4 days without heat, and with construction guys in the house every day fixing the ceiling and plumbing. Yeah.

    Welcome to home ownership. Sure you don’t want to go back?

  6. Congratulations on being home owners! The paper work part of buying a house? Bites. (Also, make the former owners pay for that leak repair!)

  7. Congrats on getting the keys! Sorry about the paperwork mess ups – it’s great to deal with lawyers, ya? Anyway, I’m excited that you guys have so many great things happening in your life right now. You are a very blessed family!

  8. Congratulations!!

    And speaking of typos on mortgage documents, my parents had arranged a 20-year mortgage, but when they went to sign the documents, they all said 30-years. It was easier just to sign for the 30-year than to try to get everything rewritten…

    Stupid banks.

  9. And now for the cleaning and the nesting… I really envy you, someday I’ll be blogging about buying my own home… Someday.

  10. Dont take it as a sign. The first month we moved into our house we had two pipes burst and flood a living room and under the house ( a week apart). We have had our share of crazy house misfortunes. Just part of the fun! Congrats.

  11. Congratulations, homeowner Zoot! Sorry it was a frustrating day. But at least at the end of it, you got to go to your very own house!

  12. Woo-hoo! Congratulations Zoot Family!

    I remember the day we were handed our keys… My husband whacked my head trying to carry my pregnant ass over the threshold, and then we laid down on the carpet and made carpet angels.

  13. Congratulations and welcome to the club. Hope you guys don’t end up spending as much time/money at Home Depot as I am right now!

  14. Congrats on the house!!!!

    … I really didn’t know so many things could go wrong in 1 day… involving 1 house. 😉

  15. Congrats on the house!!!!

    … I really didn’t know so many things could go wrong in 1 day… involving 1 house. 😉

  16. Congrats! If you want a laugh read my move in day (dec 20). We believe the worse the move in the better the life there will be :).

    ps. my whole production team is thinking good thoughts for you and baby

  17. Congratulations! Sorry it was such a hassle, but it’s great to be a homeowner — I hope you’ll be really happy there.

  18. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys!

    We have the 80/20 loan too. Saves lots of money. Of course, that’s when they actually get the numbers right! Good thing you picked up on it….

    We go to closing on our house next Friday, the 29th. I’m DYING of suspense. I want my house, damn it!!!!

  19. Buying the house is so stressful, but once you get settled, man is it awesome. What a hell of a day though. As if closing wasn’t difficult enough.

  20. Congratulations! And see, you’ve already got it broken in (ha ha ‘broken’ in with the broken curtain rod, get it? yeah, I know, not that funny.)

    At our closing they had my husband’s middle name spelled out in one document, and just an initial in the other. The lawyers involved assured us that by signing a document saying Mr. blah E blah is the same as Mr. blah E-spelled-out blah, we’d be fine.

    Well, later they wanted us to come back and RE-close! Can you believe it? typos my ass.


    “What do you people DO for a living? Oh, right, you do THIS.”


    But hey, except for that one snag, it’s all gone very well. So, I’m sure your experience will be fine, since you seem to be getting all of the broken stuff out of the way right up front. 😉

    congrats again.

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