This is a list of ALL the things that went wrong yesterday:
1. We couldn’t find someone to tell us who to get our certified check for closing costs made out to. The lawyer OR the law office. You would think we had been searching for the meaning of life for as long as it took to find someone to answer that simple question. (Answer: Lawyer).
2. The billing coupon they gave us for our second mortgage (we got a 80/20 loan – two mortgages) was 300 dollars TOO MUCH. The only reason why I didnt stop the process at that second and run out of the room screaming, is because I was ALMOST certain that one of the ninety million pages I had signed had the CORRECT number on it. So – our first 30 minutes as homeowners were spent harassing our loan officer in panicky voices (all me – MrZ opted for the cursing under his breath while driving option) until we found the paper that had the CORRECT number and were told that the other sheet was just a “typo.” A freakin TYPO? On our MORTGAGE paperwork? Shouldnt there be ways to prevent that? Like PROOFREADING?
3. We got to our house and the mystery leak that was only there the day of the inspection and never returned for the homeowners. Was back. Of course.
4. I threw the bag of keys and garage door opener in my purse to leave our house. MrZ’s car was parked in the garage and pulled far enough in NOT to block the motion detector of the garage. My purse pushed the button on the garage door opener and it closed down on MrZs bumper, taking a nice six inch strip of paint with it. I knew he wasn’t going to be happy about that. I was worried that my garage door was going to be damaged since I knew the repairs costs would wipe me out.
5. Then when I came back to the house, I pulled in TOO close and hit the work bench in the garage. When I pulled back, my front license plate took part of the work bench with it.
6. I broke a curtain rod in the living room.
7. Cisco ran around the house inspecting it for a good ten minutes sniffing away. He then projectile vomited on the living room floor. Our house has been christened.
That’s ABOUT it. I think. But even with ALL of that – we’re still homeowners. And that’s pretty damn cool.