Hi! We’re Destructive!

Thanks for all your kind advice on the last entry. I doubt I’ll complain, simply because it makes it even more embarrassing. I’d rather make fun of her behind her back like any mature adult would do.

Speaking of mature adults…

We Zoots went house-hunting this weekend! We decided to spend Sunday going to Open Houses in the part of town we’re shopping in. This was our first time walking into strangers homes, but it was enlightening. There is a very odd feeling that comes with looking into closets and bathrooms of people you don’t know. I was not 100% at ease with it. Especially when I accidentally discovered a homeowner’s porn collection.

In one house, the real-estate agent was giving us the “Home Buying for Idiots” lecture which actually contained instructions on HOW TO FOLLOW LINKS IN EMAILS. Yes. He was mildly irritating. We were really just trying to get OUT of the house since we didn’t even like it (who the HELL needs 500 sq. ft. of foyer space?), and we had a LOT of houses to see in two hours. Unfortunately – this guy would NOT shut UP so we had to sit and listen to him explain to us that we might need to get a LOAN to buy a HOUSE. Did you know that?

While he was lecturing us on the difference between a “House” and an “Apartment” MrZoot was leaning against the wall to the side of the bar. All of the sudden…CRASH! The 16×20 frame that had been hanging behind MrZ crashed to the floor. There was glass EVERYWHERE and it scared the POOP out of LilZoot and I. The real estate guy just casually blew it off while we took several minutes to recover our nerves and apologize profusely for our destruction of the home owner’s property. The guy didn’t even sweep it up! He just said, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get it later…” and continued to prattle on about the school zones and the mean cost of a home in the area.

In MrZ’s defense, the frame had to weigh at least 40lbs, but was hung using ONE screw and a fork-tooth hook. Not at ALL the most stable way to hang a heavy frame. AND – it was right at shoulder level in a common area where there was BOUND to be someone standing once in awhile. If it wasn’t us? It was going to be someone else soon after.

Either way, at the next house, MrZ challenged LilZoot and I to see if we could find anything more valuable to break to outdo his gesture from the previous home. We were disappointed to find the next homeowners were already moved out so there was nothing we could destroy. Maybe next week…

15 thoughts on “Hi! We’re Destructive!”

  1. Ha!
    We didn’t go to Open Houses during our house-hunt, I just searched the local MLS site for houses in our price range and desired location and made a list. We were lucky enough to have my best friend’s mom as our realtor, so we didn’t have to put up with annoying people.

    Gee, you need a loan to buy a house?

  2. No comment on your post, but I have to say I LOVE your HP countdown. I’m waiting for MuggleNet to put theirs up so I can be a total geek!

  3. The only thing wierder than looking through someone else’s house, it having them look through YOUR house! Its wierd to come home and smell foreign perfume and find the cupboards and doors all askew. Sometimes picture frams get smashed too.

  4. Sure, try to pretend it was an accident when it really was a futile attempt to escape the real estate agent from hell! 🙂

  5. I find a good word for cutting off long talkers is “Actually,” as in, “Um, actually? This isn’t what we are looking for. Thank you for your time.” I HATE interrupting people but I’ve you’ve got a lot of houses to see, you’d better practice. Trade off, too; you do one, MrZ does one …

    Okay, and explaining HOW TO CLICK ON A LINK and that YOU MIGHT NEED A LOAN? The guy was an idiot. That’s really amazing!

    There are at least 2 female realators in our area with come-hither bedroom eyes and a sultry stare. Who are they selling to, desperate divorcees?

  6. I meant, of course, in their pictures. On real estate signs and in newspapers. Bad glamour shots gone so awry.

  7. Go for the china – you can throw it at the walls and score the dishes and the pictures at the same time.

  8. I just got caught up on some of your posts. About the Taget woman, you want me to kick some ass for you, I’m tall 5’9 took kick boxing for two years…huh you want me to? On a more adult note, I would make a formal complaint, and then when it doesn’t get you the result you wanted I would DEMAND this womans job. If she doesn’t get fired, I would take it even further–I’d take it to the top baby.

    Good heavens I can’t believe how rude that C*NT was. I don’t use that word often, but she owns that word.

    I’m so, so sorry.

  9. Oh my GOD. Do you know how hard I would have laughed in that situation? I am a nervous laugher. And why do other people’s houses always smell like soup mix?

  10. HA! Hilarious.

    (By the way, can you, um, email me those directions on how to follow a link in an email? I am soo glad someone finally brought up how hard that is. Snerk.)

  11. good luck house hunting. i think it will be much easier for you than it was for me. ouch. and much cheaper at that!

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