Happy Birthday, LilZoot,
Holy Crapoley. You’re ten years old today. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant with you and I was scared to death. I was scared of telling my Dad, I was scared of being homeless, I was scared of going to college with a kid, and I was scared of getting married. But I was NEVER scared of being a Mom. I knew, the second I saw that positive pregnancy test, that I would most definitely be a good Mom.
Many things have happened in our lives since then. Your father and I split up. I spent seven years in college. You grew up in computer labs and university libraries. You proctored your first college exam at age five when one of my professors asked you to watch her students while she ran an errand. You sat in on a MS Powerpoint Class I taught and picked up on more at age six than most of the adults in the class. You spent the night in front of a Lion Cage for a fundraiser. We moved seven times. Once? From one apartment to the one next door so the psycho guy who lived underneath us would quit scaring us to death by banging on our floor. We both spent the night in a castle at my college. I guess your childhood was not what most would consider normal.
But – after one divorce, two college degrees, and one new marriage – we are finally living a relatively normal life. However, you never complained about the chaos of the first several years of your life – and you still dont complain about the chaos that still remains. You get in a car, every other Friday, and travel 300 miles to see your Dad. You get back in the car the following Sunday, and travel the 300 miles back home. And you never flinch.
You are an amazing child. Those words seem so simple, yet they are so true. You have taught me so much in the last ten years. You have inspired me to become better as the days go on. There were a few times in the first five years of your life, that I felt like the only thing keeping me going in this world was you. The only light in my life, the only thing “good”, the only thing that made me happy, was you. I will always be in debt to you for that – and I will always try my best to be a good mom to repay you for that light you have added to my life.
I hope that with each birthday – your years get better. But if you do experience those dark times, like we all do, I hope I can provide the light in your life, the hope, the love that you showed me. I will always be here for you, no matter what, waiting to give you a monster hug and an upside-down kiss. My specialties – of course.
I love you.
Happy Birthday, LilZoot.