About Me, The Great Blog Cleanup

Notes From 2020 Kim on 2005 Kim

So I’ve been working on formatting/cleaning up the blog posts from 2005 to republish here and oh my god I find 2005 blogging Kim so very annoying. First of all…like I’ve mentioned before…I used my blog in the beginning like I use all different forms of social media now, for miscellaneous updates/comments on life. So there were NINETY-SIX entries for ONE MONTH. That is SO insane to me since I consider a good month now – when I crank out 20.

But I’m deleting the vast majority of them because A) one of the purposes is to clean up the database so that if/when I die my kids don’t have to read through every post about boob sweat and the show Big Brother, B) it takes a few minutes to adjust the formatting for the current setup and I don’t want to waste the time on nonsense entries no one will find interesting or entertaining in the future, and C) past me was SO VERY ANNOYING.

Now, in my defense I was pregnant with Nikki most of 2005 but it seems my schtick was to constantly complain about being pregnant. I did it in a “funny” way but after the first 5 entries self-deprecating my sweaty body, it stops being funny.

And I was snarky about everything. Like…2005 Kim seemed to have no since of mindfulness or reverence for anything. I was snarky about parenting, about kid’s sports, about OB visits, about grocery shopping. It was just non-stop snark which 2020 Kim finds so. very. tiresome.

I wonder if this was just the tone across all of the blog world. Were we all super-snarky back then? Or maybe it changed because I just aged a bit? Or maybe losing Dad softened me a bit? I don’t know, but I enjoy current Kim’s blogging voice over 2005 Kim’s blogging voice. I like snark to make the periodic appearance but I don’t like it to be the only part of me I share.

I was also VERY self-deprecating in a “funny” way but ever since Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette I’ve been very mindful of that kind of humor. I was pregnant in 2005 and there was a lot of “Look how fat I am!” jokes which make me roll my eyes considering I’m currently fatter and heavier than Kim the day she delivered Nikki. But I also did a lot of “I’m so dumb!” jokes which are the ones I’m really mindful of now because A) I’m not dumb and B) Why make people laugh at my expensive constantly?

Don’t get me wrong, I love to tell a good “Kim did a dumb thing and it’s hilarious” story. But I feel like in 2005 every post (AND THERE WERE SO MANY) that was a personal story – and not about blog designs or TV- was either snark or self-mocking. Either about being a bad parent, or a bad wife, or an idiot or…something.

I deleted most of it because I have to delete a lot of it to clean it all up and when I’m trying to decide what to keep, I way prefer the stories from E’s childhood or some good pregnancy memories than any of the million Snarky or Hating On Kim posts.

So I guess the point of this post is to let anyone from the future know: 2005 Kim was really snarky and self-deprecating. I’m back-dating this post to show up on January 1st 2005 so that if I’m scrolling through chronologically some day in the future this will be my notice at the beginning of the year: I removed a lot of posts from 2005 because I don’t think it’s necessary to keep all 500 posts that fall were filled with me snarking on stuff or making fun of myself. But! I do believe it’s important for my personal history to show that they did exist at one point in time so this post serves that purpose.

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