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“I’ll NEVER get married again. I am just not cut out for long-term commitment. Don’t get me wrong – I won’t run away from my knight in shining armor if he arrives, but I don’t believe he exists.”

That was one of the first conversations MrZ and I ever had. We had been flirting for a short while and I was very attracted to him. However – I knew that being a single mom sometimes shouted, “I need a Daddy for my Baby” so I wanted him to know right off the bat that I was NOT looking for a relationship. I had only been newly single for a year and I was just planning on enjoying that for a while.

A few weeks later? He told me he hoped I would marry him one day.

And a year ago today, I did.

My Dearest MrZoot,

There is no way on earth you will ever be able to fully comprehend what a difference you have made in my life. I can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will always look back on the day we got married as the best day of my life. Yes – I love LilZoot as I will any future children we will have – but the day he was born, although WONDERFUL, was also filled with PAIN. And LOTS OF IT. Our wedding day was, in one word: Perfect. It was the type of day for which the word “perfect” was invented.

The fun actually started the day before our wedding. Our friends and family started congregating in town. I had been up all night the night before putting final touches on a few things. We began decorating – we picked up tuxes – we checked into hotel rooms. We had our rehearsal and your mother planned the perfect rehearsal dinner. I ended the dinner and the gift giving time with my final toast. This was the toast I gave that night.

You have taught me more about love and relationships in the last three years than a lifetime worth of self-help books and Dr. Phil shows could have.
First: you have taught me that it IS possible to fall more in love with someone everyday, even after three years of being together.
Second: You have taught me that it is also possible for two people who could be the poster children for “Type-A Control Freaks” to learn how to compromise and share responsibility.
Third: You have taught me that those little things that are cute in the beginning of a relationship – DON’T have to start to aggravate you as the years go by. I am still a sucker for the voices you give our animals and the times you like to break into the MrZ dance!

But MrZ? The most important thing you have taught me is that

The perfect Dress,
Krispy Kreme wedding cakes,
The support of family,
And the presence of Friends Old, New and Rekindeled,
Along with more butterflies and purple roses that should be legal –
Can make a dream wedding…
But – it is the comfort in knowing that you are marrying your soul- mate
The one man you know you were put on this earth to spend the rest of your life with,
That turns the same dream wedding into a true to life Fariytale.
I promise to spend my life saying “Thank-You”.
And with you and LilZoot by my side,
We can turn this “Once Upon a Time” into a “Happily Ever After”.

I woke up at the butt-crack of dawn the next morning. I did a bit more decorating before my Limo arrived. The limo came for me and we picked up LilZoot and all of the neighborhood kids to go for a ride around town. It was my way of thanking them for all the work they had put into helping me with wedding favors and decorating. We had a blast. We did the electric slide on top of Monte Sano Mountain. What a better way to start our wedding day?

I got back to the hotel and spent the rest of the morning, before pictures, decorating and getting things ready. I was totally in my element and loving all of it. Most women hire wedding planners and get other people to do that work, but I wanted to be a part of everything. I remember working so hard to plan our wedding. I made bouquets, I decorated arches, I ordered gowns, I made a donut cake, and I found the perfect pair of shoes. I spent most of the day of the wedding decorating. I actually got OUT of my wedding dress after my pictures so I could put together my wedding cake. I called you downstairs as you watched the TN/AL game and asked you if you had your ring. Hilariously enough (at least to US, it stressed out some people) – my Dad ran you home 30 minutes before the wedding to grab the ring we had forgotten. I was beyond busy making sure I put the final touches on everything. I had it all planned and organized.

Yet, there I was, 20 minutes before walking down the aisle – giggling in the girls’ bathroom. I had snuck in there to hide while the first part of the procession started. People were asking me where they needed to be, kids were looking for bouquets, parents were wondering what order they needed to be seated. And all I could do was giggle. I was looking in the mirror and laughing uncontrollably, thinking, “This is finally it. I am finally going to marry the man I was put on this earth to be with.” I was so overwhelmed with the idea that my dream was FINALLY going to happen, that I barely remembered what I was supposed to do. I remember my Dad later telling me, “That’s a good sign”.

I stood at the door of the wedding hall after you were in position inside. I watched our friends and our family walk together down the aisle to “You’ve got a Friend”.

When you’re down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am
I’ll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend.

If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend?

People can be so cold.
They’ll hurt you and desert you.
Well they’ll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don’t you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don’t you know that,

Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you’ve got to do is call.
Lord, I’ll be there, yes I will.
You’ve got a friend.
You’ve got a friend.
Ain’t it good to know you’ve got a friend.
Ain’t it good to know you’ve got a friend.
You’ve got a friend.

I watched LilZoot escort two girls he had known since before he could walk. And then I watched him remember to circle back around to escort me. When I saw him come back for me, I thought, “Crap. I would have forgotten about that. He’s brilliant.”

I began my walk down the aisle (we’ll pretend there was no entry-way trip in this version), arm in arm with my Father and my Son. And I cried. Oh – how I cried. I cried the most joyful tears ever to have dropped from any bride’s eyes. I looked at you and there are no words for the love that I felt for you at that moment. The song, “At Last” played as I smiled and you, walking toward you under the wedding arch I had slaved over. I listened to the song knowing that after all we had been through together in the three years prior to that day, there was no better song to walk down the aisle to.

At last
My love has come along
My lonely days over
and life is like a song

Ooh At last
The skies above are blue
Well my heart was wrapped up in clover
The night I looked at you

I found a dream
That I could speak to
A dream that I could call my own
I found a thrill
to press my cheek to
a thrill that I have never known

You smile
Oh and then the spell was cast
and here we are in heaven
For you are mine at last

I found a dream
That I could speak to
a dream that I
Could call my own
I found a thrill
To press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known

You smile
Oh and then the spell was cast
and here we are in heaven
For you are mine at last

I hugged my dad as he sat at the front of the room. I walked up to you, with LilZoot still at my side. I remember that the three of us almost forgot to light our unity candles. We were so excited. We stood there as a family as Jan (our minister) acknowledged LilZoot as an important part of the equation – just as we had asked her to do. She knew how important it was that LilZ be included in the ceremony. We were doing more than marrying each other that day – we were building a family.

I tried not to cry as Alana read one of my favorite poems.
I cried profusely as Stace read the poem I wrote for you.
I held your had and cried as we repeated our vows.
I thanked God you talked me out of us writing our own since my brain was such mush.
I shook as you put my ring on my finger.
I smiled as I placed your ring on your finger.
I looked at all of our wedding party during the prayers and thought about how lucky we were to have such amazing friends and family.
And then? When Jan finally announced us as Mr and Mrs Zoot?
I did what I had warned people I would do.
I yelled a “Woo!” and we walked arm and arm out of the wedding hall to “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…”

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

Look all around, there’s nothin’ but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin’ but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

At the reception we enjoyed the company of all who were near and dear to us. We had our special mother/son dances. And then you and I danced to DMB, “Crash” – one of the sexiest songs we knew. The kids and I jumped up and did the Hokey Pokey and with that – the party started. I put on my house shoes and you and LilZ donned your tennis shoes with your Tuxedos. Your grandfather wheeled your grandmother onto the dance floor and their Children danced in a circle around them. All of the kids from our neighborhood made a sign and startled you with a request from the DJ that you do what has come to be known as, “The MrZoot Dance” for everyone. And even though you were embarrassed – you obliged. Everyone danced all night. We’ve been told it was “The best reception EVER” by many people. We wore top hats. We stood close as we listened to friends and family toast us. We laughed as LilZoot caught the bouquet. We ate donuts. We slow danced.

One year ago today.
I love you more now than I did then. Through every trial, through every triumph – my love for you grows stronger. I look you in the eye at times and question what on earth I could have done to deserve such an amazing man as you. I know that we were put on this earth to be together and I feel that stronger now than I did a year ago today when we stood before friends and family and pledged our love.

Happy Anniversary, Honey. Thank you for making my dreams come true.