About Me, Whine.

Toothless and Not So Ruthless

I am on the verge of tears of humiliation today, folks. Last night? While at dinner? I took a bite of cucumber that knocked my bridge loose.

See? I was born without a few permanent teeth. My eye-teeth to be exact. So – when I lost the baby teeth, the other teeth just scooted to fill in the spaces. After years of orthodontia hell (head gear NIGHT and DAY), the spaces were opened again and I was given a bridge with two fake teeth. This bridge is glued to the back of my two-front teeth.

Today – I am on the verge of losing my bridge and I can not find a dentist open anywhere.  Its still hanging in there – but if it goes – I will be so embarrassed. It fell out during a cleaning one time and I CRIED I was so embarrassed. I don’t want to have to go until MONDAY to get it fixed. Blah. Beautiful weekend and I’m facing utter humiliation.

So – take this time to stop and tell me how you always found toothless women to be incredibly attractive. Thank you.

16 thoughts on “Toothless and Not So Ruthless”

  1. I thought we had that in the New World Order, didn’t we? I think it fell between stratch marks rock, and the more flab the better! See? Feel better – you are too cool for words! Love you!

  2. Oh, Zoot! I love you. Hang in there. Just think, this will give you an excuse to eat chocolate pudding and hot fudge sundaes every meal.

  3. Nope, Zoot, it only hasn’t happened to you. Take it with a grain of salt and then make up fabulous stories. My favorite: “YEAH! That effin mofo knocked me off my bar stool and then I kicked the stuffing out of him! That SOB is probably laying in an ER someplace!” (I really got knocked square between the eyes with a Tonka truck by my nephew.)

  4. So, cucumbers are dangerous – planning world domination probably.
    Anyway, toothless women ARE incredibly attractive!
    Will you now need a new bridge, or can the old one be fixed? Because if new teeth are an option you could go for the vampire-look.

  5. You know what? I am missing a tooth too! I lost the baby tooth and just didn’t get the permanent one. The dentist told me he could file down the the ones on either side and give me 3 fake ones. I chose to live with the space cause I am a huge wimp!
    Hope you get yours fixed! We love you either way!

  6. i have very very tiny teeth if it makes you feel any better. I look like I am ALL GUMS. One plus? No wisdom teeth.
    personally, I think teethless women? are HOT. I mean, you can just embrace an all liquid diet. Bring on the beer!!

  7. I was only born with one eye-tooth. so my mouth is lopsided. totally hot 🙂

  8. Oh my gosh, haven’t you heard? Toothlessness is the latest Hollywood rage. Celebrities are having their inscisors extracted left and right. I read in Us last week that Tyra Banks, Nicole Kidman and Jude Law all had teeth pulled recently. You are sooo in.

  9. I have this extra tooth on bottom that you are more that welcome to have. It is my “tangle tooth” and it sticks out. Luckily it is on bottom.. because if it was on top, I’d look like Jewel.

    Good luck, and I agree with Sam! Go on liquids and have lots of beer, or MARGARITA’S!!!

  10. Hey, my son only has six teeth and everyone just swoons over him. So, obviously, people dig the no-teeth look. You’ve got it made!

  11. Just think, though…..what good blogging fodder this makes…especially if you have another dentist visit from hell!!!

    And of course you’ll be even hotter than you already are (if that’s possible) – if you go for the toothless look!

  12. you know my front tooth is a fakie, right? every time it cracks/chips/whatever – i’m in hell. i hear ya girl 🙂

  13. Poor gal. It’s not your fault you were born with missing teeth.

    My husband, who was incessantly teased and picked on, was thrust into the aluminum siding of his school THE DAY AFTER HIS BRACES CAME OFF. It broke both of his front top teeth, and the marks are STILL in the aluminum siding of the school.

    The teeth they fixed them with chipped every couple of years or so, until this year when David got BEAUTIFUL porcelain veneers (we only had to pay 30% because of my health plan). Now his teeth look beautiful & perfect (no cracks) and he won’t have to worry about them chipping so often. These may be it for life.

    I hope your trip to the dentist’s office is not too bad. Just remember: it could be a whole LOT worse. I cried out in PAIN when my two lower wisdom teeth were beaten outta my head. They had to stop twice per tooth to give me more anasthetic, plus two shots per tooth beforehand. I’m sure your trip will be MUCH less painfilled than mine!

  14. Did you know there is a YAHOO group devoted to toothless women? It has pics, stories, and videos, costs nothing to enter and, being YAHOO, is perfectly safe. Please take a look!

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