About Me

The Zoot Siblings

Note from 2020 – Something was terribly wrong with the formatting of punctuation of this post and I did my best to clean it up but if it reads weird (weirder than anything from 2004) it’s because during one of the million export/imports I’ve done on this blog, something must have happened to screw it up. My apologies.

This is a phone call between my brother and I. Watch how quickly we turn into 10-yr-olds

Me: Hello. Blah Blah Corporation, may I help you?
Bro: Whaddup Homie?
Me: Yo, G-money. Whaddup?
Bro: So, guess what happened to me this weekend?
Me: You got in a bike wreck and cracked your helmet.
Bro: Dude. How did you know?
Me: Mom told me. Hey, but your boy Lance won, that oughta soften the pain.
Bro: I know that’s the other part of my story
Me: Okay, continue…
Bro: I was wearing that Livestrong bracelet, and when I crashed, I looked at it and said, Lance would keep going! I can’t give up, and I kept going.
Me: (laughing)You didn’t actually say that OUT LOUD, did you?
Bro: Yeah! I was alone, it was just me and my bike, I had to motivate myself!
Me: (laughing mercilessly) Ohmigod, that is so sad!
Bro: (laughing at himself) I said, “Come on! You can do it!” and I did so it worked! Like the little engine
Me: (Laughing my ass off) You are so freakin weird!
Bro: Shut up!
Me: (still laughing)Ohmigod. Speaking of sad You have GOT to check out the latest Strongbad Email it s the funniest thing on the planet. You have to watch it, and then email me and tell me how hard you laughed. Because you will cry you will laugh so hard, I just know it! And go pee FIRST, before you read it, because its THAT funny, you would really pee a little.
Bro: Okay, but dude, speaking of email, I keep getting those damn gmail invites, and I don t want one.
Me: You didn t want the one I sent you?
Bro: Uh no.
Me: (giggling) But didn t you see the address I suggested?
Bro: No, what was it.
Me: (giggling) buttmunch@gmail.com
Bro: (laughing) HA! That would be really professional. My email is buttmunch@gmail.com
Me: No you are doing it wrongï you say My email is B-U ..(pause) T-T-M ..(pause) U-N- ..(pause) C-H..(pause) at gmail.com.� They won �t realize what it is until they reread it to themselves! Do you see how funny that would be? (laughing hysterically at my joke)
Bro: (laughing) That s awesome!
Me: laughing) I know. I would kill to have the balls to do something like that.

Hard to believe we are both successful adults, isn’t it?

16 thoughts on “The Zoot Siblings”

  1. LOL!! That is hilarious. My brother and I are the same way. Do you guys still wrestle and beat each other up too? I hurt my foot last Christmas trying to kick my brother. Some things will never change.

  2. I live with my brother so these conversations are daily– I love them!! My favorite was last week, when he put a Piglet band-aid on me and insisted on speaking in Pig Latin for the rest of the morning… so Piglet would feel included.

  3. You realize, of course, that now people are going to bug you for invitiations.

    My uncle and I do the same thing–turn into ten-year-olds.

    Sometimes, though, I wonder if he switches back…

  4. HEY WOMAN, YOU ARE TOO FUNNY WHERE DO YOU GET THE HUMOR? TOO FUNNY CRACKS ME UP!! AND I DIDN’T EVEN LINK TO STRONGBAD EMAIL..I WILL LATER WHEN I NEED A GOOD LAUGH..WHEN IS GMAIL, COMING OUT? I WANT..ALTHOUGH I AM HAPPY @HELLOKITTY!! WHO WOULDN’T BE?

  5. that is what brothers are for – to act like a kid with! I laughed at his whole Lance Armstrong yellow bracelet experience, though. I think it’s cool that he’s dating Ms. Hottie Sheryl Crow but just keep imagining if they break up how would she put him in a song? I still wish she could have worked it out with Eric Clapton – what a partnership! I totally went off on a tangent here, sorry!

  6. LINDSAY, gmail already is out!

    And, Zoot, I love you and your brother. Thanks for the laugh. I really really needed it!

  7. I was gonna write “define successful” but somebody beat me to it.

    And Bush crashed on his bike, too, your bro is in good company. Remember: Rubber side down!

  8. Hi. I’m a friend of Kerry’s. I just wanted to say hi.

    Your brother sounds like a trip! This just reminds me that I’ve always wanted a brother. In fact, when I was 6, I asked my mom to give me an older brother. I didn’t get one.

    Thanks for the great story!

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