Adventures, Thing 1

Holiday Chaos Part 2: Random Insanity

I’m still not facing the fact that we got a new dog.Sunday was the Fourth of July. The first thing we did, of course, was dress appropriately. We purchased LilZoot his USA Shirt a few days before (at Target – of course), but we had just gotten Tee one that morning so that they could match at the fireworks. Then there is me wearing a fairy USA T-shirt. Because really – what says “Celebrate our Independence” like Tinkerbell? I mean – can you really think of a more patriotic Disney character? Yeah – well it only cost me six dollars at Wal-Mart. I may be patriotic, but I’m also cheap.

Next, we had to hit the fireworks store. For the first 18 years of my life, I didnt realize normal people could just go out and buy fireworks. This was probably because no one I knew did. I thought for sure one would need a license or a certification to shoot of fireworks. But, then I moved to Alabama, and discovered that EVERYONE shoots fireworks. Even though its not legal within the city limits, they STILL shoot them off. Hell -it doesnt even matter if they are sober, so whether or not they are educated in the dos and donts of fireworks is definitely not a concern.

So – we joined the rest of the state in purchasing our loot to celebrate with. First off? The fireworks trailer on the Fourth of July is much scarrier than Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve. Seriously. If you dont believe me? Plan to celebrate the 4th next year in Alabama, and I’ll prove it. It took us ten minutes to grab what we wanted and 35 minutes to check out. We saw THREE different families leave with more than 100 dollars worth of fireworks.

Wanna know how much we had? Thirty dollars worth. We are total big spenders.

One of those three families? Actually had 500 dollars worth of fireworks. That amount took up THREE buggys shopping carts. One of the other families? Had a guy that had to be reminded that there was NO SMOKING inside the FIREWORKS store. And the third family? Had a very large woman with a very tiny bikini on. IN THE STORE. No towel, no cover-up, no shorts, no SHOES, just the bikini. Almost as if there was a pool outside and she just ran in for a moment to grab some bottle rockets. It was terrifying. I was tempted to ask each of these families where they were going so I could make sure it was no where near where I was going.

And yes – we bought the wussiest set of fireworks known to man. As you see in the above picture, its almost all sparklers. We only broke up the sparkler monotony with a few things that dont leave the ground. Some “worms” and some “fountsains” and a few boxes of those pop thingys. I’m terrified of fireworks, so even this lame-o purchase was a big step for me.

Now? Notice the thrill in the eyes of the neighborhood kids as they lit their sparklers. They were soooo excited to finally get to light them. They just kept harassing me to let them do it already. What? NO – I did NOT have to beg them to participate. Can’t you see how excited they are? You cant? Look closer.

Okay. So maybe that is a look of pity. Maybe they are only fake smiling because they know I was so proud of myself for even purchasing sparklers. Maybe they are realizing how big of a dork I really am. Shit. Well, I tried.

Well, next we went to the football field to watch My Father-In-Law’s band play, and then we were to watch the fireworks afterwards. That is my FIL in the Drummer position. He’s been playing drums forever, yet sadly, this was the first time I ever got to see him play. There was a point where I was afraid the show would get rained out, but as you can see, it went off without a hitch. It was really cool – he and his band were fun to listen to. LilZoot was very impressed with his Granpa H.

Finally? No “event” is official without the typical close up shot of my boys. Arent they so cute?

So – we had a great holiday. It sucks to be getting ready to go back to work. What? What dog? Why do you keep asking me about that dog? We dont have a new dog.

18 thoughts on “Holiday Chaos Part 2: Random Insanity”

  1. I’ll be joining Amalah, if you don’t post soon, about the extreme squishy cuteness of that doggy.

  2. Fireworks stands in Mississippi are exactly the same as in Alabama. And did you know that some of them stay open 24 hours? Last Christmas when my husband and I were home in Mississippi, we found this fireworks stand that had this old school bus that had been made into a “camper” parked beside it. The guy actually LIVED IN AN OLD SCHOOL BUS during fireworks season. So as not to miss a sale. Especially if it is a $500, smokin’, teeny bikini 3 buggy (and yes, I still call them that) sale!
    He was dissapointed when all we got were some bottlerockets and sparklers. We are cheap, too!

  3. So you are in complete denial about the dog huh? I wonder if I can do that with the kids? “Kids? What kids? I have kids? *wide eyed look* No those aren’t my kids, they just keep following me around asking for food, clothes, shelter, and money.”

    So what did you name the new non-dog?

  4. what, no picture of the dog? no picture of his big brown eyes and soft fuzzy mush-mush face? awww, come on… eh, just keep posting those pictures of MrZ… grrrr. 😉

    we live in a no-fireworks state – even them thar sparklers are illegal! but that doesn’t stop people from going and buying the big-guns out-of-state. we went to watch “real fireworks” sunday and were surrounded by drunks yelling out “fire in the hole!” and lighting off whatever they had.
    the 4th of july was never complete at my house without someone lighting off an m80 under my passed out drunk father! ahhh, the memories… good times good times.

  5. Oh it totally works with kids too. But the authorities often feel the need to intervene. Like…MIND YOU OWN BUSINESS!

  6. I am with you – scared shitless of fireworks. It’s okay if PROFESSIONALS shoot them off and blow off their fingers, just don’t want anybody I know doing it. I do like a good sparkler now and again though..

  7. Tinkerbell is totally the most patriotic Disney character. Heck, she nearly betrays Peter Pan just because she’s pissed at him over some petty jealousy. Sounds like America to me. 😉

  8. $500 worth of fireworks? Yeah, that sounds about right. Indiana is also a fireworks state, and this year? The proliferation of fireworks outlets rivaled those of liquor stores and churches in Hammond. Hell, I’ve got two within walking distance of my crib. The 4th around here sounded like a M*A*S*H rerun.

  9. When I lived down south we always bought those same cheesy fireworks! The ‘boys’ are adorable and look so happy…i love it!

  10. Those are definitely cute boys and I’m quite impressed with the picture of the dog you didn’t get a few posts down. Have you named it Notour so that you can honestly say, “This is Notour Dog!”?

  11. Our kids are still a little small for fireworks (says the overprotective dad) so we made do with some snap n pops from wallmart and watched the ‘professional’ displays two nights in a row.

    I know what you mean about the other patrons of the store: “excuse me, where are you going with that? I want to go the other way. Far away. And perhaps alert the fire dept.”

  12. I am dying….don’t leave me suspense over this new dog one more minute!

  13. LOL those families? In the store? Why didn’t you pose Lilzoot in front of them so we could see, too? LOL! Love the shot of your men 🙂

  14. I bought my first real fireworks last year, and after accidentally setting off one that sparks and pops a lot directly under some guys car, I can understand your fear. We also managed to have a bottle rocket come down and land on some guys pickup truck. We really needed some guidance!

  15. Those USA shirts are awesome. I can’t wait to tell Killer that he has the same fashion sense as pre-teen boys. Wait–he’ll probably consider that a compliment.

  16. Sweetie, you know I loave you more than my luggage, but unless you tell me the story of the dog I’m totally going to kick your ass.

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