Parenting, Thing 1, Unpublished

I’m the Neighborhood Bitch!

Many moons ago, I casually mentioned storing a the body of a 13yr old boy in my fridge – do you remember? Well – the back-story to that is simple. LilZ and T (our 9yr old neighbor) were playing outside one day. LilZ and T’s sis RayRay ran inside all flustered and sweaty freaking out because some boy was beating he and T up. I checked out the situation (T was pissed off and looking for blood, so I knew something had gone down) and saw that this “boy” was at least 13 years old. He ran into the back door of an apartment a few doors down. I got MrZ as back up and headed over there.

I knocked and knocked and knocked. When the door was FINALLY opened, I said to the “boy” – I said, “Are you the boy rough-housing my son and T?” He said, “They were throwing sticks at me!” I took a deep breath and informed him that they are half his size (inside – I was seething that they neglected to tell me they started the fight) and if he had a problem, he could come to me but I would rather him NOT beat up my son. The whole time, there was the Mother of the girls who live in that apartment, hiding next to the door and trying to get them to shut the door on me (whatever, Bitch).

So – after the waters calmed, we got onto the boys for making us stick up for them when they didn’t give us all the information. We’ve found out since then that the boy was at least 14, possibly 15. He hasn’t been back around much at all (he’s scared I’ll kick his ass!). LilZ, T and RayRay have since befriended the girls who live in that apartment. There have not been any problems at all. I don’t have a problem with the girls at all. The two younger ones seem very nice.

Thursday? I found out that their Mother hates me. Turns out she badmouths me to her daughters, and they relay the info to the other kids. RayRay told me that she told them I’m a bad mom because I let me son cry when he gets hurt (NEVER happens) and I’m just a general bitch I guess. So I spent the whole weekend trying to kiss ass to my sons friends (the younger of the two girls – the older one evidently hates me too) so that they’ll like me. Isn’t that stupid? I don’t want the 13 and 14-year-old girls that my son hangs out with NOT to like me. I want them to go home and tell that white trash bitch their mom, who had to hide from me when I got onto a child who wasn’t even hers, that I’m nice and cool and stuff.

I’ve had several of the neighborhood mom’s politely inform me if my son has done something wrong. I take no offense to this – that is what community is about. We all love each other’s children like our own. This woman hates me because I yelled at the punk hanging out with her daughters. Whatever. Any who – I made sure LilZ didn’t mind that his friends’ mom didn’t like me and he put it perfectly when he said

“I don’t really like you much either, Mom, you are kinda dorky” *giggle giggle giggle*

Smart-ass. He’s so grounded.

9 thoughts on “I’m the Neighborhood Bitch!”

  1. Ooookay, lemme get this straight… you’re a bad mom for letting your kid cry, but you’re a bitch for getting on some kid twice his size for beating on him? Maybe she could make up her mind whether you’re over- or under-involved before she makes her case to the neighbors. This woman is clearly on crack. Ignore her.

    As for LilZ, show him the picture of the monkey with the ice cream and tell him you just found the cutest picture of him from last summer. 😉

  2. That other mom doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. Sticking up for your kid and getting that other boy to go away may be very good for her children as well. Too bad some people are clueless.

  3. I want a bitch mom like you. And a brat kid like LilZ.

    You are two lucky stiffs, you know that?

  4. Let me know if you need help beating her up. It’s the least I can do after you so kindly volunteered to assist me with some physical violence on my end.

  5. You know…I am not a mom and it is probably a good thing…but I too…am a neighborhood bitch because I will go out and tell the little hellions across the street to watch what they are hitting their basketball into…they have set off my car alarm three times in one day…AND MY CAR WAS PARKED IN THE DRIVEWAY AT THE TIME. The little hoods.

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