Parenting, Thing 1

English is Not LilZoots first language.

LilZoot said to me this afternoon

“Mom, can I go play in the creek with T?”
“Can you promise me you wont come in soaking wet again?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Only your water shoes can get wet.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Do NOT step foot inside this house if anything but your water shoes are wet.”
“Yes, Ma’am”
“As in, only your shoes, not your clothes, or hair. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I understand Mom. Only my watershoes can get wet”
“Go ahead”

A little more than an hour later he comes unpstairs and is just chatting away. And then I interrupt him.

“Did you wear your watershoes in the creek?”
“Yes”
“Did they get wet?”
“Uh Huh. I mean, Yes Ma’am”
“Did anything ELSE get wet?”
He looks down, and eyeballs his sopping wet cargo shorts.
“Mom….its impossible to play in the creek and NOT get wet”
“Did it occur to you to tell me that before you agreed to ONLY get your watershoes wet?”
“Nope. I didnt know you meant I couldnt get my shorts wet”
“Oh. Okay…”
/bangs head on desk/
/pulls clump of hair out/
/cries profusely at the idea that this is going to probably continue until he’s 18 or even older/

13 thoughts on “English is Not LilZoots first language.”

  1. I love all the reminders that confirm to me the reasons why I don’t have any children. Lil Zoot is cute though. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I have to agree with LilZoot here…
    you can’t play in “the creek” and not get wet…especially not when you are young…
    then again, I was the child who could get soaking wet in a puddle.

  3. Did you seriously think that he would not get soaked? It just doesn’t work that way. Kids + water = soaked to the absolute bone!!! Selective hearing though works every time doesn’t it?!

  4. oh please!! I so know what your talking about. My kids only half listen. My most often said phrase to them is “What language do I speak, Japanese?!” Grrrrr. lol.

  5. Hahaha I guess my first language wasn’t Dutch either ๐Ÿ™‚

    It’s funny first I read Greek instead of creek, “can I play in the Greek”. I thought, what on earth has that to do with getting wet feet. I have to get myself some coffee ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Well – see – what I didnt mention is that this creek is about two inches deep and LilZ has played in it MANY TIMES without getting soaked. Its very possible to do – most of the parents in the neighborhood have the ‘Only Feet Wet’ policy – now if I could just see how the hell they implement it.

  7. Please Goose can get soaked in a puddle, and exactly how hard is the sentence “Stay in the front yard” to understand? This does not bode well for listening skills.

  8. I think it is a law that you are allowed to get your shoes AND your cargo shorts wet. Not sure where I heard this, think I read it somewhere…

  9. My daughter does the exact same thing and it drives me batty! Don’t they grow out of it? Please, please tell me they do!

  10. Hey I still have those kinds of conversations with my mom and we will not get into how old I am. Thakn goodness the little ones are still too young for that. I think J is starting to learn though!

  11. I LOVE “Yes Ma’am” — that is so perfect. There are not enough people in this world who address women as “ma’am”. I don’t care if it implies that I’m older than I am or something. It’s just polite.

    And, frankly, it sounds damn charming. Woo woo.

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