I’m Scary in a Liquor Store.

What was your progression to the world of adult alcohol consumption? Since I was a mother to a 3yr old by the time I turned 21, I really didn’t experience a lot of the “drinking milestones” that most people, namely college students, did. You know – the silly things you take for granted, like when you were 20 and got invited to a Frat Party where there will be *gasp* BEER *gasp*. I never did a Keg Stand (I still don’t understand what that is). I’ve not “shotgunned” a beer.

Now that I am a working member of society (as opposed to the college student I was for 7 years) I am a tad scared of the world of alcohol. People my age know what a martini is. (I’ve not ever had one). Most people I know actually HAVE a grown-up drink of choice. “Martini. Dirty” or “White Zin” or “Scotch. On the Rocks”. I don’t even know what a lot of drinks even ARE. The most grown-up drinks I have ever ordered on a regular basis were coffee drinks. “Kahlua and Coffee, please” or “Bailey’s and Coffee”.

Well, like any woman of the legal drinking age, I HAD to try a cosmopolitan after watching the show “Sex in the City”. I loved it. I am pretty sure it is now my “grown up” drink of choice. But – I didnt even know what one had in it – until yesterday. I bought IrishChic a drink making kit for her birthday. So, I looked at the recipe for a Cosmopolitan, and went to the liquor store on the way to Irish Chic’s to buy the ingredients. OOH. It was ugly.

1. Vodka? There are a MILLION kinds. Did you know that? The hell? I settled for Smirnoff with a Raspberry Twist. It seemed like a good choice. It was priced somewhere in the middle of the rest of the stuff, so I thought it was safe. CHECK.

2. Triple Sec? What IS that? The hell? I thought it might be that red stuff they put in Shirley Temples (shut up. I know thats wrong. NOW). So I wandered around aimlessly for ten minutes. MrZ was no help. He drinks Beer. Thats it. Now he knows his beer – but liquors? No Help. Although it was his idea to finally breakdown and ask the people behind the counter. (If they WEREN’T going to card us already, they sure were going to after that). Well, Triple Sec? Behind. The. Counter. OOOOH. I don’t know what that means? But it definitely told me it was NOT one of the ingredients in a Shirley Temple. CHECK.

3. Lime Juice? Okay. This liquor store didn’t have any. Limes? yes. Juices? yes. Lime Juice? no. Oh well. No Check.

4. Cranberry Juice? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. I know that one! I know what that is! CHECK.

So, ingredients in hand. Gifts in hand. (Groovy martini glasses to go with the groovy drink mixing kit). We head to IrishChics house. And I? Made my FIRST Cosmopolitan. I substituted Cranberry Juice for the Lime Juice, at the recommendation of Irish Chic, and BAM. There it was, in all its alcoholic glory. But, my inexperience is VERY evident in the pictures as I hold my glass with TWO Hands. Jeez. Good thing I’m married because I have a feeling if I were trying to pick up guys in a bar holding my glass like that? I’d be out of luck. But – I made it myself. Yeah Me. oh. and Yummy too. It was good.

I still don’t know what the hell Triple Sec is though.

19 thoughts on “I’m Scary in a Liquor Store.”

  1. Ahhh I remember when I could drink grown up drinks….sigh…one day I am sure I will again.
    I will right? Like I won’t lactate and breastfeed forever right? RIGHT?

  2. I’m a simple vodka and cranberry girl… but if I had to buy my own vodka…I’d be lost too…who knew there were SO MANY to choose from!! wtg on the cosmopolitan!!

  3. Ooh, I’m so girly. It’s all about the foofy drinks. I don’t want to be able to taste the liquor, just the fruit dammit.

    Though I will make an exception for a good rum and coke or Sex on the Beach.

  4. I totally don’t know anything about liquer, hell it took me five tries to even spell it. The only thing I drink with any regularity is a sombrero, which is Kahlua and milk, or as I call it, a latte with alcohol. I also like white russians, which is the same drink with vodka added. I’ve been drunk twice in my life, once when I was eleven, and then this past new years.

  5. hmm, I can’t help you out with the adult drinks seeing as I’m not even legal, however…
    but a kegstand? well, I would say sorta like a hand stand except on a keg (and people generally hold your legs), in which you put the tap in your mouth and drink

  6. So in Canada we can drink at 19 (well 18 in some provinces). So we have good practice in the alcohol department.
    I am a gin and tonic woman (when NOT lactating) or vodka and tonic.


  7. For the short term – triple sec is an orange liquer, if the ingredients call for gin, ask for Tangeray or Blue Saphire, if vodka, then Absolut. If someone is buying you a drink, ask for Chivas Regal (most expensive Scotch Whiskey). For the long term – drive to a town where they don’t know you, wrap your head in several yards of gauze, go into the local liquor store, announce, “you’ve been in a terrible accident recently and your beer memory is okay but have forgotten everything you know about hard alcohol and can they fill you in?”

  8. Sorry, forgot to tell you – lime juice, grocery store, probably in the produce section, it’s a concentrate.

  9. Hehe, youรขโ‚ฌโ„ขre too cute! I was the same as you though for different reasons… I grew up in a house where drinking was taboo… Then I married an x-sailor! But until last summer I was never educated in grown up drinks… heh – I’m 34 and I’m still not ‘educated’ But I sure the heck learn how to put them away last year!! Now, I can drink almost anyone under the table! – What too me so long?!!!!

  10. LOL Great Job!! I made sex on the beach cocktails a few weeks ago. I was slightly drunk ๐Ÿ™‚

    I thought triple Sec (LOL almost mispelled THAT ๐Ÿ™‚ are the sweet drinks, like Blue Curacau, ehm Peach Tree, Passoa, you know all the green & pink liquerish things.
    Here we can drink as of the age 18 but the government is reconsidering that. Beer & wine can be bought as of the age of 16.

  11. You know what girlie? Most people wouldnt admit they know nuthin about alcohol so YOU GO GIRL!! Even for someone who does know her alcohol, though I very very rarely drink (with kids?? if I started drinking I think I would be an alcoholic thanks to them!! LOL)- Liquor stores are still confusing… So many choices of stuff. Bah! I stick with my coffee drinks and thats it. =) Hey! By the way, the site looks really good! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. All you had to do was call me, girl! ๐Ÿ™‚ Even though I had my sweet girl young….I had picked up several drinking tips up before…I started early, you know. ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. So my favorite drink would be one of two drinks. The first is a screwdriver (Plain Vodka and OJ) or what I call a “Double Screw” So called because it’s a Screwdriver with Triple Sec instead of Vodka. Tastes a lot like Sunny D…

  14. Diggin’ the pic of your bitchin’ arm tattoo. (Do I sound bad enough for ‘ya?) ๐Ÿ™‚

    There are certain drinks that I might order at a bar, that I have NO IDEA how to make in “real life.” So in other words, it’s okay that you had to look things up. ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. I usually like to just pour a bunch of random liquors in my mouth at one time and swish them around until they curdle. Then add the cranberry juice. OOOOH thats good.


  16. One of my girlfriend’s drinks Tom Collinses and Tanqueray and tonics and stuff, but I’m a beer girl myself. Although a good orange juice and malibu is a nice refreshing change. And Kahlua/milk drinks. And pina coladas, but those are the best in Vegas.

    The best Cosmo I ever had was my first — it was at a bar called Vibe in New York. I’ve never had one better. Sigh.

  17. i admit it. i drank too much in college. it wasn’t as much for the drinking as it was for the stories tha came out of it. i would always have a 151 & coke(that’s bacardi 151 proof rum & cokd for ya zoot). those were a bit strong. i try to stick to seven & seven’s now or gin & sours. amaretto sours are good too if you’re in the mood for something sweet. all that said, i rarely drink anymore w/the kids. as Ro said, i may become an alcoholic if i drank now!!

  18. Now that you’ve tried a cosmo, you must try a sour apple martini! Yummy! Try Grey Goose vodka, it’s very good ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Grey Goose or Stolichnaya. Either two and you’re okay. They both make Absolut taste like rubbish, although it is never a bad choice.

    If you want to make a fine, upstanding Cosmo, use Grand Marnier (another, more expensive orange liquer). It is made with cognac distilled with oranges and adds a great deal to the ordinary Cosmo.

    I like to leave the lime juice out of my cosmo (just like you did). The cranberry juice, the orange liquer, and the vodka make a perfect cosmo in my opinion.

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