What Makes Me BITCH. A LOT.

  • Being out of Diet Coke
  • Deciding to screw the diet, but having nothing worth binging on, resulting in a binge of frosted mini-wheats or flavored oatmeal. Its one thing to forsake the diet for chocolate cake or McDonalds french fries, but apple cinamon oatmeal? that just doesnt make it all worth it.
  • When Target is out of their generic bags of frozen boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Considering how Donnie eats AT LEAST 2 chicken breasts a day, sometimes 4, that is a BIG DEAL to have to buy Tyson.
  • “Correcting” my opinion. I mean, seriously – it’s subjective, I can not be wrong. I think Jennifer Love Hewitt is plain, I’m sorry if that bothers you, but I am NOT wrong.
  • Snoring Dogs.
  • Cats scratching furniture or stairs when they have a PERFECTLY functional scratching post.
  • Being out of fat free hazelnut creamer
  • Not having sweet-n-low for me to put in my coffee
  • South-haters who have never lived in the South.
  • Pretentious t.v. watchers. Just because you hate reality t.v. doesnt mean you are more academic than I am.
  • Being out of ibuprofen when my uterus decides its the time of the month to wage war on my body.
  • Insulting my dogs, my cats, or anyone in my family for that matter. And yes, I DO know that I insult them all them time, but that is different.
  • People who don’t let their children read Harry Potter. I don’t think it makes them bad parents, but I love Harry Potter with all my heart. I want your kids to love him too.
  • Telling me how it drives you crazy that I don’t use correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling in my emails to you. I’m lazy – get over it.
  • When my dogs get more than one toy at a time out of their toy baskets. What? I don’t pick up after the child I birthed, why should I have to pick up after my pets?
  • When you call me for no reason.
  • Being cold.
  • Being bloated.