Domestic Me

My Folding Dining Room Table

It’s been 2 years since I started living in the real world, post-college, and I am trying to be a little more classy and sophisticated. (Shut UP.) For example, the black lacquer bedroom set I got for 35 dollars from a couple moving to Colorado is a TAD outdated. I mean – who doesn’t love black lacquer? But this stuff had MIRRORS and GOLD TRIM. I heard Debbie Gibson singing and bangle bracelets jingling every time I walked into my bedroom. VH1 could use my bedroom as the backdrop of their interviews for “I Love the 80s”.

So – I removed the doors of said furniture (with the mirrors on them ) and put wicker baskets on the shelves to hold my clothes. Cool Huh? Not quite real furniture, but hey – the mirrors are gone, and I’ll take what I can get.

My point – I’ve been looking for solutions like this for a lot of my interior design issues. All of my furniture is either A) a hand-me-down from someone who grew up faster than I did or B) made out of fake wood and required assembly or C) furniture I found on the side of the road. My dining room table? Is a folding card table with matching folding chairs. I DO have a cool picnic table but Donnie think’s it is too big, so the card table is where we “Dine”. Unfortunately I do NOT have a lot of extra money JUST for furniture so I have been looking for genius solutions like my baskets.

Well – this is what I’ve discovered. All of those “do-it-yourself/make the ugly pretty again/turn the crap to crystal” type magazines and websites I have found simply SUCK. Or – they suck for ME anyway . They are perfect if you are a person who either A) has money to invest in these DIY projects, because DIY does NOT mean CHEAP or B) has the time to spend 3 weeks stripping, sanding and refinishing crappy furniture or C)has the SKILLS to turn that black lacquer wardrobe into a cherry armoire.

Nothing out there for the busy, poor, talentless woman who just wants to live in surroundings that look like they are at least from the last decade and preferably the last few years. I mean – let’s face it – colonial designs and antique furniture? Those are “good” old. White Wicker furniture? Thats Shabby Chic. Black lacquer and gold trim? Not so much. Why don’t any of these magazines and websites have cheap ideas that require little time, no skill, but will make old crap look updated? Surely I’m not asking for too much? I’m asking for too much aren’t I?

So – I think I’ll give up and live with my card table and folding chair dining room set. I mean – it could be worse. At least I have my TiVo. Who needs a real dining room set when you have TiVo, right?