Why I Whine

I would just like to go on record saying that I was almost 8 weeks pregnant when I did this, and it was even doctor approved!

I’m not usually a whiner. I have my moments – for sure. But as a general personality trait, it’s not me.

But lately? It’s all I do.

Every time someone asks me how I’m doing I mention that I hate not being able to run or do boot camp and that I’m hoping I’ll be cleared at my next doctor’s appointment. I say that I’m a beeyatch without my stress-reliever of running. I complain about missing my boot camp and running buddies. I do all of these things at least 100 times a day.

But here’s the thing. It sounds like I’m saying: I hate my high-risk pregnancy because it’s keeping me from exercising. But do you know what I’m really saying? I’m really saying: I’m terrified that if I don’t vocalize how much I miss exercise at every chance I get, that I’ll one day stop missing it. And starting back will be that much harder.

See…I’m not naturally that girl. I was not born athletic or with a desire to exercise. It took me 30+ years to find that. 2 years ago I discovered boot camp, a little over a year ago I fell in love with running. And this was after decades of attempts at becoming healthy and fit. I finally found that groove and those people who made me love exercise and I’m terrified that I’ll lose that feeling if I don’t constantly remind myself how much I love it by whining about missing it.

I want to be able to do it again as SOON AS I CAN. If it’s in a week when the doctor clears me for low-weight, low-impact strength training again? Then, great! If it’s in April after I have a baby? Fantastic. Either way I want to be able to jump right in and go the first day I’m allowed.

But think about it – how many people have medical excuses NOT to exercise in this moment? Yet – how many people don’t do it? For the majority of non-fit people in the world, it’s a mental challenge to get out the door, not a medical one. And I’m TERRIFIED that the longer I’m away from my routine, the grander that mental challenge becomes. So that the second the medical block is cleared, the mental block will take over and I’ll lose all that hard work.

So…please forgive me. When I whine about not being able to run or do boot camp, it has nothing to do with my dissatisfaction with this pregnancy. Of course I’m overjoyed to be pregnant and I want this baby to keep fighting and hang in there so that it can become another crazy piece of our fun family. No, please see my whining for what it is. Someone who just finally became the healthy and fit person she’s wanted to be for a very long time and who is afraid of losing that desire if she doesn’t talk about missing it at least 80 times a day.

And before you know it you’ll go back to being annoyed with me for talking about running and boot camp all the time instead of whining about missing it!

6 thoughts on “Why I Whine

  1. Can you go swimming? Whereas running is up and down and makes everything bounce around (I’m a girl I struggle with running – thankfully no black eyes recently lol) swimming is more of a float along.

    I’m not very good at the exercise thing and you’re totally right it is mind over matter. I’ve been going Park Run but the last few weeks there’s been so much c*ap going on around here that getting out of bed when I don’t really have to wins trying to go for a run.

    We have a game on the xBox called Your Fitness Evolved or something like that so I try and do cardio boxing or tai chi or something like that so I’m not a complete lard butt.

    • zoot says:

      Several people have suggested swimming but I don’t really swim. I mean, I’m okay in a pool where I can touch, because I can kinda doggie paddle. But that’s it. I’m not really comfortable in pools where I can’t tough. BUT – I may learn to swim just for something to do!!!

      • Beg, buy, borrow an aqua jogging belt! You can run in the pool! http://www.aquajogger.com/ I know lots of people who did this for injury recovery. It looks a little odd, but I see all kinds of people doing all kinds of weird water things in my local pool. No one will bat an eye.

  2. Monica says:

    As much as you love exercise now, it doesn’t seem like you will ever go back to hating it. Maybe make yourself a nice big countdown calendar that is not only for the baby’s birth but for the day you can get back to bootcamp and running. Be sure to go to the office supply store to buy fancy supplies to use in making it, though. That way you get to indulge in something you enjoy, even if it’s not running!

  3. Here’s what I think. Now that you know how much you love running and exercise and how awesome you’ve been at it and how great it makes you feel, you’ll go back to it, whenever it is that you can. I think you will miss it too much not to get back to it. You have this fantastic network of boot camp and running friends now that you didn’t have before, and I know they will help you get back into your groove. Just show up – that’s at least half the battle. There are also lots of us out here cheering for you! Blog about it and let us root for you too!

  4. Stacey says:

    Pick an event to run in after the baby is born. Even just a small run. That will help you have something to look forward to and know that you have to have your body ready for by then.

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