I’m not sure if I’ve updated everyone here, but both of our remaining pets (when I started this blog we had FIVE) have been given terminal diagnosis. Sunflower – my cat – has liver failure and Sweetie has cancer. Since they’re both older than they should be (Sweetie is 14, Sunflower is 18) then we just monitor their quality of life and wait for the time to make the decision we’ve made with the other pets before.
This week it seems like everyone is getting worse.
Sweetie is now needing to go outside several times in the middle of the night which has me, basically, sleeping on the couch so I can doze off and on in between her trips. This also means I hear her claws click on the floor and immediately wake up because, Is she going to the outside door or just relocating? If we don’t see her at the outside door she barks and I don’t want her waking everyone up so I my subconscious is constantly listening for her walking to the door.
This does not create the best night sleep, as you can imagine.
Sunflower’s eyes are getting yellow and she’s losing weight and now she sometimes screams for no reason. I then go to her and hold her (in the middle of the night – of course) and then she happily purrs. That’s the thing, both of them are still definitely living good lives, they’re not in pain and they’re happy a lot of the time, but I feel like the end is near and also I AM NOT GETTING ANY SLEEP.
It’s a hard thing, though. Donnie is not a cat person and never has been and I don’t see him ever allowing us to get another cat again, so I’m really struggling with Sunflower fading. I wasn’t a cat person either when I adopter her and Bambi during my single Mom days. They were guilt adoptions for E since I was divorcing his Dad and I was hoping cats would make him happier. I quickly became a cat person.
I think Sweetie is fading slower. Her original tumor doesn’t seem to have grown back (it grew so fast in the beginning and they couldn’t get it all out I thought for SURE it would be back) and other than the constant trips outside, she’s fine. I mean, they’re both old and sleep all day, but she seems happy too. I think we have awhile longer with her.
But my sweet Sunflower…I feel like I’m starting to count her good hours as I count her bones I can now feel through her skin. The periodic cries for love are painfully sad even though the purrs of joy when I come to her and lovely. I feel like the day is approaching soon. I’m going to miss her when it comes.