Uggg.

I was going to title this “Lost” because that felt so “7th Grade Slam Poetry” and I’m feeling more “Not Enough Coffee” if we’re discussing general angst.

Uggg.

I had a stretch of a great 10 days before I left for Colorado. Anything big that was looming in my periphery I was just saying, “Eh…that can wait until after the trip.” I was running regularly, I was eating right, I was keeping up with my bullet journal website and instagram, I was keeping my kids relatively happy, I was GETTING SHIT DONE that needed to be done THEN but if it could wait? It was waiting.

Then I went to Colorado, had a great time, but came back to a sudden realization that there was A SHIT TON OF STUFF TO DO. Scarlett O’Hara helped me have a great 10 days by reducing my obligations to something I could obviously handle but now it’s tomorrow and I’m suffering from that terrible Anxiety-Induced Paralysis every day and I’ve been back for 2 weeks now and all of the stuff is still there and I still haven’t even begun to knock it only now I’m also NOT running and most definitely NOT eating right and…and…

UGGG.

I told myself I’m going to run today. We’re starting to lose morning daylight which cramps my whole schedule even on a good day, and now that I’m obsessed with Pokémon I really prefer to run outside so I can hatch my eggs (what) so I can’t get out the door until about 5:30am but I think I’m just telling myself today that it has to be done. Also? I’m back at the top of my weight limit where I’m down to only the BASIC large clothing in my closet. Before Colorado I was about the middle-of-the-closet range which makes daily outfit choices much better. But now? It’s like one pair of jeans and 2 dresses and THAT IS IT. So, you know, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND STOP EATING HUMMUS, ZOOT.

(Also? Sorbetto.)

There’s really no point in this other than expressing general discontent. We had a showing yesterday and they’ve been so rare (and we require advance notice since we have so many things we have to wrangle: Kids, dog, cats) that we’d fallen behind on general upkeep. I worked my ass off all morning to get it ready, sent Sweetie to doggie daycare, bought a box fan for the cats in the garage so they wouldn’t be too hot, went into work late and BAM! They texted and canceled it. I CRIED Y’ALL.

But my house is kinda clean so, yay? I guess?

UGGGGGGGGG.

Here’s to a full system reboot. I need to shake of the UGGGG and try to get organized and tackle some of the daunting things in my periphery. I need to say “NO” to evening activities for awhile until I get caught up on life. I need to smile more. I need to run. I need to put down the office candy and quit eating donuts. I need to CATCH A DAMN CHARMANDER DAMMIT.

(His silhouette is currently in my “nearby” box torturing me.)

Anyway – I’m happy to bless you guys with this wealth of joy and wisdom today.

<3

7 Comments

  • Joanna

    We are similarly programmed – I can do all the things or do none of the things. And when I am on top of everything it feels like a fragile state. I’m so sorry about the cancelled showing. That sucks and I would be in tears, too.
    Hang in there! One thing that has helped me with staying on track with exercise is giving myself permission to just walk and listen to a book or podcast. The goal is to recharge rather than set myself up with another thing on my to do list that I’m avoiding. Running is my therapy so i have to try not to let it become a thing that’s hard to maintain or I’m sunk – it’s just putting on shoes and moving my feet.

  • Grace

    So sorry about the showing. Deep breaths. Agree with Joanna re permission to “just” walk, listen to a book, etc. Also important: sometimes if I can’t go for an hour, I’ll just blow it off because it won’t count or do any good. I have to give myself permission to go for “only” 20-30 minutes because it DOES count. Also, if my fitbit has been snatched and hidden by a cat might as well no go because if I’m not wearing it steps don’t matter, right? So that’s another one of my foibles to deal with! TL;DR: We all have these issues!

  • LC

    Pikachu lurked around us for several days before we finally snagged him last night. One night he popped up while we were at home just before bedtime and we walked around in the dark at almost 10pm trying to find him (and I might have had my pajamas on).

    Two weeks without working out, eating cake and ice cream, and drinking beer was rough when I went back to the gym this week and tried to run. I couldn’t breathe and felt like a HUGE FATTY! I have gained weight the past month and I can feel it.

    Small, baby steps. I finally got the back yard mowed…….my front yard is still a small jungle.

  • Jessy

    Have you tried the pokevision website? I have no idea how it works, but they show you on a map exactly where Pokemon are.

  • Lucy McConville

    I think I officially love you. I don’t even know for sure how I started getting your blog…but it has been about a month…maybe 6 weeks… and, yeah, you are me. 😉

    Hang in there!