I always write my blog entries before boot camp.
(Yes..That’s about 4am. Yes…I know that makes me certifiably insane. No…I’m not medicated. Yes…I know I should be.)
Yesterday morning I wrote two. First? A recap of my parenting night from hell. Second? An entry praising my husband. I didn’t link the Tantrum entry on the front page of my blog because I was worried that people might not approve of my parenting; or would correct me or try to “advise” me to do something differently. Since everything is very raw in my parenting world right now, I knew I couldn’t take it.
But by the time I took my lunch break? I had received several supportive comments and decided to put it up on the front page after all. And then? The support kept coming. I put it on twitter and Facebook and the wonderful messages kept rolling in. Many of them from people I know in real life – which makes the supportive comments that much better.
(Because the people who know me in real life also get the unfiltered Zoot in other areas; and therefore, understand I may actually be insane.)
So? Thank You. I’ve been in a rut. I’m down on myself for my parenting, my weight-gain, my crappy training schedule the last two weeks as I traveled and then had a sick kid – and pretty much everything else you can think of. Those comments on that entry reminded me why I’ve been doing this for nine years – because every time I put my vulnerabilities out there? A whole community rises up and says, “Me too.”
I probably wouldn’t have survived several phases in my life: Having babies, losing my Dad, becoming addicted to Twilight…without this blog and being part of this community I think I would have just felt alone all of those times. And often we equate “alone” with “failing” and it turns out that neither one of those feelings are justified.
(Except for the Twilight thing…we’re probably all failing on some levels in that community. BUT AT LEAST WE’RE TOGETHER.)