zoot

I'm addicted to superhero movies, donuts, craft beer, playing in the woods, and reading YA fiction. I'm a writer by day and a dreamer by night.

The Universe

I have this term I use – “The Universe” – when I’m referencing some sort of spiritual or karmic power that is guiding things, or can explain events around me. Sometimes I do it satirically like, “The Universe has a twisted sense of humor,” but sometimes I do it seriously, “I think the Universe is trying to tell me something.” It’s basically a word I use to replace “God” but it’s not really a fake word, as I do have a feeling that there is some sort of energy connecting everything everywhere and that those connections can create beneficial circumstances due to the energy they wield.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I reflect on my life right now. I lost my job in February and then in early April my Mom has a wreck having a seizure and can not drive for six months. She needed to go back to work but didn’t have the type of expendable income it would take to uber everywhere and, well, I was now jobless. It’s like The Universe had a plan.

And it’s not an easy thing to explain, my beliefs, because it’s a mix between spiritual and physical. I do believe that if I put good into the world, good will come back to me. And this is something I believe on a scientific level. Good energy creates good energy, just like bad energy creates bad energy, so I surround myself with what I create. And then sometimes I just use it not to reference something I really believe is connected, but to allow for something magical to be interwoven into weird coincidences. I just like the idea that there was a fabric of something connecting my Mom’s accident to my availability, so I say it was “The Universe.” I mean, it just came at the PERFECT time…so why not take advantage of it? I’m helping her with small tasks and getting rid of things that were too big for her to deal with. I’m helping drive her around and whatever else she may need around the condo.

And then…”funnily” enough…this all came at a time when there was tension in my family over my inability to let go of some aspects of raising small children versus raising older children. Donnie thought the kids were ready for some changes that I was letting my guilt keep me from doing. You know, small things I was still doing for them because they WANTED me to and because I have Mommy guilt and tend to project my own insecurities on to them and so I KEEP DOING THE THING EVEN WHEN MY HUSBAND IS TELLING ME IT IS TIME FOR THEM TO GROW UP A LITTLE BIT.

Welp. Problem solved. Half of the week now I’m not home to do the thing for them. They’re now doing TONS on their own. And while that Mom Guilt part of me is sad, the rest of me is so glad that The Universe forced my hand because I knew Donnie was right, I just couldn’t allow myself to let go.

It really doesn’t matter what you call it, does it? Sometimes it helps knowing God has a hand in the chaos, sometimes it helps just giving a name to the chaos, and sometimes it’s just the unknown that seems so serendipitous that it needs a powerful attribute.

Whatever you call it? I’m rolling with it for the next 6 months and finding the silver lining in the chaos and calling it whatever feels right.

9 comments on “The Universe

  1. I love this. I use it the same way. I think things are connected. I’m glad you are able to see that and hold on to it when things are difficult.

  2. Great post. I use “universe” the same way.

    I’ve been trying to pull away from some of the things I do for my son, too. It is very hard when he is not a willing participant. If I don’t make food for him, he just doesn’t eat. Talk about Mommy guilt! haha. The other day I was kind of wishing something would happen to take me away from the house/make my schedule less flexible so he’d be forced to make at least some of his own meals. He is perfectly capable, just lazy. But I just feel too guilty to make him do it while I just sit here doing my own thing. Sigh. Maybe the “universe” will step in for me, too. I know it would be best for him in the long run.

    Glad you are getting on well with your Mom, and getting into a routine.
    Lucy

  3. i love this post, too. Things are connected- I saw that when this happened,but since my concept was that God did it, I didn’t say anything. Universe or positive energy work also- My neighbor uses Monat for mother nature when it involves weather. My daughter uses thoughts , prayers, and fairy dust, which is something you will see me use. Whatever there is an energy that connects us and our circumstances.
    As for the kids. You want to keep then little because one is your baby and will be when he is 45, and the other is about to be a teen age girl and that is a good thing to hold off as long as possible. look at online for a list of the responsibilities that kids of different ages should have and can perform. You will be surprised. But the don’t do for a kid what they can do for themselves is a good guideline

    1. Dang, I wish I would learn to proofread before I posted. There are so many grammatical, sentence structure, and punctuation issues in this.

  4. My comment was supposed to be a smiley face but it posted as a question mark.

    I loved your blog post today. This is how I try to live my life and I’m glad you’re feeling it positively.

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