• Arthur Pendragon Will Not Be Knighting Anyone In This Family Any Time Soon

    You know how your kids play and fight and scream all the time and even though sometimes the screams are bad and someone is probably hurt you ignore it and they eventually calm down because they’re just freakin’ drama queens who scream bloody murder at everything?

    Yeah. Well, sometimes they come downstairs crying and you’re rolling your eyes because…Oh my god. Not again. Why must every scrape and bruise require such drama and screaming? Why are my kids such wusses? I’m trying to work here and they just don’t understand and…

    “OH MY GOD! HE’S BLEEDING!”

    As soon as I turned around from my desk yesterday to look at a crying Wes, my heart stopped. His face was COVERED in blood. Well, his face and his hand which was covering his eye. I pulled his hand away and all I saw was blood burying his eyeball. I grabbed him up, took him to the bathroom and tried to get him cleaned up the best I could. I called his pediatrician who said, “Take him to the ER.” His eyelid turned purple in seconds, I couldn’t tell where the blood was coming from because he wouldn’t let me dig, and his eyeball was just red and bloodshot and I couldn’t tell what was damage and what was reaction.

    We ripped off his bloody clothes, wrapped up an ice pack, and headed to the pediatric ER.

    AFTER dropping off Nikki at the in-law’s of course. There was no way I was going to deal with both of them if I could avoid it.

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    Long story…um…not quite as long as it could be? Several scratches on his cornea. Like 3-4 “severe” ones and 3+ mild ones. They put this glowing stuff on his eyeball so I could see and it looked insane. It looked like someone had taken a scouring pad to his eye.

    “So…how did this happen again?”
    “Sword fight. He had a nerf sword, his sister had a broomstick.”
    “Which end of the broom did she hit him with?”
    “The handle because she had detached bristle part to make it a more useful weapon. They’ve been watching too much Merlin, you see…”

    We went to an ophthalmologist at the recommendation of the ER doctor. Wes was SUCH A trooper during the entire time. He read the eye chart, used the scope thingy so they could look at his eye. Final decision? He needed a plastic surgeon to look at him. He has two cuts on his eyelid, one that may scar, so they want a plastic surgeon to look at it to see if they need to stitch it up. However, due to the nature of stitching an eyelid, this would actually be a “surgical procedure” and require some level of sedation.

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    SO! This morning he gets no food/drink and we meet with her at 7:30am. I’m almost positive she’ll send us on our way. The cut is scary, and it bled a lot, but it’s still so tiny. I can’t see why, even if the entire wound became scar tissue, we should be concerned. But – in case you guys are unaware – I am not a doctor.

    The whole thing was pretty intense. I know that head injuries bleed a lot, way more than you feel like they should, but eyelid injuries? HOLY SHITBALLS. Bloody face to the EXTREME. It was insane. I close my eyes and I just see him and blood streaming out of his eye and I get a little woozy.

    Here’s a funny tidbit. I was wearing my Justice League t-shirt during the entire ordeal. Because I am a geek who works from home and that’s our uniform. And it occurred to me that most of my regular daywear is either A) Workout clothes or B) Geek clothes. And everytime I spoke to another medical professional I thought, “Jeez. Maybe there’s something to owning a bit more grown-up clothing…you know…for emergencies.”

    Oh well…I thought it actually worked out quite well since he was donning his Avengers shirt. We were basically representing the big forces in the comic book empire…LIKE YOU DO.

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    She feels bad. But only a little bad because she’s 7 and all 7-year olds are sociopaths. I have told her 100 times I understand it was an accident…but…she was doing something she should not have been doing. I mean – I’m all for sparing someone’s feelings but this is TEXTBOOK LESSON TEACHING EXAMPLE here. Someone almost lost an eye! If I can’t use this as a real-world lesson-teaching moment, what can I use it for? As a matter of fact – I encourage you all to use it too. The next time your kids are swordfighting with dangerous objects, tell them about Wesley who almost lost an eye doing the SAME THING. It will be the next Boy Who Cried Wolf.

    But leave off the part about how his mother was ignoring his cries because she feels like her kids are big babies who cry at every little scrape and bruise. I don’t need that part being memorialized.