My Brain On Insomnia

Instead of trying to figure out how to cathartically expunge the contents of my distraught soul, I’m going to pose a bizarre hodgepodge of questions I’d love input on.

  • Lexapro insomnia: Just me? My doctor did warn me that it could happen temporarily but HOLY CRAPBALLS Y’ALL. It’s bad. This is just the shit keeping me up TONIGHT. Yesterday was entirely different.
  • How have you handled differing of opinions of punishments in a co-parenting situation? I struggle with this a lot because I was raised by my Dad and there was no one in the house to debate his punishments. How do you compromise when you so strongly disagree? Do you take turns? “We’ll do it your way this time, my way next time.” That doesn’t really make sense if the difference of punishments come from different methods entirely. You can’t go back and forth.
  • Our new house (1500 sq ft, not updated since the 60s, closing on Friday, hopefully!) has the skeleton of what you can tell was a pretty great back yard at one point. How do I revive it in the easiest way possible? What plants are hardest to kill?
  • Am I too old to wear a choker?

    Wait. Scratch that. I’m answering myself. I’m not too old to wear shit. I can wear whatever the f*ck I want, society! KISS MY ASS.

  • How do you talk to people who you love and trust…but who don’t find treating mental health as “real” medicine? People who supposedly love me but who also think either A) Therapy is ridiculous or B) Medicating is ridiculous. (Weirdly enough, they’re not the same people. Therapy-haters approve of medicine, Medicine-haters approve of therapy.) I have a hard time feeling anything but judged when I’m open about my struggles but I WANT TO BE OPEN SO NO ONE ELSE FEELS JUDGED. Do you sit down and talk with the people? Do you have resources like links or videos to share?
  • Do you have a quick/easy granola bar/ball recipe? I’m sick of pre-packaged granola bars as it feels so wasteful but so many of the recipes I find require SO MANY STEPS, or food processors or something. I want to just use a bowl. And maybe a spoon.

16 thoughts on “My Brain On Insomnia

  1. Bobbie says:

    I can’t chime in on everything, but as to co-parenting, you have to compromise – and be consistent. Would it be crazy to have a meeting with the kids included (when said children are calm and rational) and figure out appropriate punishments? That way the punishment can’t be said in anger at the spur of the moment and then be torture for the parent having to follow thru (speaking from experience….).

    As to your mental health, apply your “am I too old to wear a choker” philosophy. I can {do} whatever the f*ck I want, {relative}! KISS MY ASS.

  2. Heather says:

    I’m 43 and so excited about the return of the choker!!!!!

    I have the book you need about food, but it is at home. I will try and remember tonight.

    Co-parenting then breaks down to core philosphy and who is closer OR if it is an “in the moment” thing – which one of the adults is more un-hinged and then taking the other route.

  3. Cheryl says:

    With regard to the yard, you need to go with perennials and the occasional pot of annual flowers that you can buy ready to go at the Lowe’s. I find most evergreen type bushes hard to kill, and any type of spirea plant will live through the zombie apocalypse. I do absolutely nothing to my yard but water it occasionally and those damn spirea plants spread like crazy.

  4. Jaime says:

    For me , the mental health debating & judging brings out the same strong opinions in people about weight loss strategies & judgments. What I find works best is recognizing that every BODY is different, and every BODY responds differently. So we someone’s experience in life is that therapy works, then they are predisposed to eschewing medicine. Understanding that their judgments are coming from their experience, which they are falsely trying to apply to you and your body, which works differently, takes all the wind out the disagreement for me. They argue strongly because they know what works for them. I feel strongly about my opinion because I know what works for me.

    For my diet, I’ve recently figured out that I’m a food addict – that my body gets clinically, hormonally addicted to sugar and flour. So I can’t eat that stuff anymore. I have to follow a plan that helps keep me mentally healthy around food and physically healthy around food. Other people tell me, “just eat in moderation! Your diet is too restrictive! It’d never work for me!” And I tell them, no worries, you must not be a food addict like me. If you were, you’d understand that moderation doesn’t work. The chemistry of addiction won’t let me eat just one donut, just like some people can’t drink just one beer.

    Same thing with mental health. My husband has clinical anxiety. He needs to be on medication and he needs talk therapy. Anyone saying they only need one or other is fine – they don’t have the same body that my husband does, so they aren’t dealing with the same circumstances.

    Maybe explaining it like clothing – some shirt styles look fantastic on others, but not on me. Just because that shirt style works for you doesn’t mean it works for everyone. I’m glad you’ve found the right solution for you, and I’m happy to have found the right solution for me.

  5. Vicki says:

    I’m having a good laugh at this post because I can empathize so much on your insomnia and this post shows just how bad you’ve got it. Your thoughts are all over the place and your brain is going a mile a minute. This is the story of my life. And know that I’m laughing (or crying) with you not at you. I can’t really help on your questions except for the mental health and loved ones. You need to let them know that you’re doing what your doctor has prescribed for you and until you ask for their opinions they can keep them to themselves. Then let them know that you’ll answer any questions they have as long as you feel comfortable. I hope this helps.

  6. Lucy McConville says:

    Did your doctor give you an idea about how long the insomnia from the Lexapro should last, and went to call if it goes too long? I only ask because my ex was misdiagnosed and given the wrong antidepressant and it kicked him into a mania that ruined his life. Are you tired during the day, the way you should be after having not slept…or are you raring to go when you can finally get up in the morning? Please be careful.

    All that said, I feel when someone has a chemical imbalance (aka Brain Based Disorder) the right medication is just as important for that person as insulin would be for a diabetic. Talk therapy is ALSO important, especially if the person has lived with the disorder for years without being diagnosed. There could be a lot of things to work through because of that.

    Hang in there! We are all pulling for you!

  7. Kat says:

    For the backyard – find a local nursery and tell them you want plants that are low maintenance and local to the area. If you give them an idea of what you are looking for, they can point you in the right direction. I chose drought tolerant perennials that flower all summer – Butterfly Bush, Salvia, Chocolate Flower, etc. I live in the panhandle of Texas, though, and have a MUCH different climate that where you live.

  8. Stephanie M says:

    I don’t remember Lexapro giving me insomnia, it just gave me a dull headache for a full week. Then it was like somebody flipped a switch, and the headache was gone. I’ve been on it for 7ish years now.

    Wellbutrin, on the other hand, made my hands shake and gave me brain zaps. I stuck it out and the brain zaps went away and it helped, so it was worth it. My hands still shake, but it’s only noticeable when I try to focus on doing something where I need them to NOT shake, of course. (I just mention this because Wellbutrin works well with Lexapro and is often prescribed with it, so I thought I’d give you the info if you ever needed to add it later on. I just added it this past year when I was going through a tough situation that left me depressed.)

  9. Beth says:

    No you are not to old to wear whatever- I am much older than you and I am not too old to wear a purple streak in my hair, or anything else I want. I just matter of fact refer to my counselor or what meds I am on. The only thing people don’t seem to really understand is that I am ADHD. I have always been, They didn’t diagnose it at all when I was young. They didn’t diagnose it in many girls until the late 90’s. It was spotted by an astute counselor ( one that has ADHD). I agree, its my body and brain and I know the history, and will treat it accordingly.

  10. Beth says:

    Forgot to comment on the co-parenting. Young children can understand that there are 2 different sets of rules and 2 different sets of consequences. The duration of most of those should be handled by that parent. Parents that take things away for weeks or an unspecified amount of time usually take them back, making them look weak and that they go back on their word- Their word being- you lose your phone for 6 weeks, etc. No I have never co-parented, but I taught preK and mentored neighbor kids and I have observed a lot. This of course doesn’t apply to big things like a kid is a bully and beats up on others, he was caught drinking and driving, she was found sneaking out the window with drugs and condoms in her pocket, etc. On this type problem, there has to be consensus, and it could take a counselor to sort it all out.

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