I Survived! And Only Thought You All Hated Me Once!

Oh man, guys. So – I wrote this entry yesterday about body positivity…wondering if it was okay to still want to lose weight in this new era of Love Your Body. It was a weird entry, kinda rambling, I mainly was really hoping for a dialog. I’m still trying to lose this 17lbs I gained and I was wondering if I’m still falling victim to societies unrealistic standards or if – you know – I just like my thinner body. I was wondering if it could be like dyeing your hair red or wearing makeup…things you do because you like the way you look better that way. I really hoped for awesome dialog like you all are always up for and holy crap. NO ONE MADE A COMMENT. And I spent all day yesterday thinking I’d lost my touch in fostering insightful conversations and that maybe you all hated me.

Then I sat down to write today’s lighthearted entry about surviving this week MUCH better than last week and BAM! I see that post still sitting there in the compose screen.

AS A DRAFT.

I never published it. DAMMIT. No wonder you all weren’t conversing with me! There was nothing to talk about!

I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking maybe it was whiney and kinda “First World Problems”-y and REALLY? ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THAT 17 POUNDS? By the time yesterday was over I had regretted writing it so now it seems silly to publish it.

But I still want the conversation!

So, can we just meet for lunch one day next week? All of us? Sound good? We’ll just talk about body positivity over some vegan chili, okay?

ANYWAY! Let’s move on!

IMG_6900I survived this week much better than last week. I didn’t have to squeeze in any grocery trips during 14 minute breaks between work and soccer. We didn’t have to eat out. I didn’t curl up in the fetal position and cry. We made it to soccer three nights (counting tonight) and even went to my nephew’s t-ball game! It was a good week!

I did several grocery trips last weekend to (hopefully) get me through this week and it worked! I also braved my first “errand” run on my lunch break this week. I don’t like leaving my office at lunch because it’s in a high traffic area and you all know how I feel about traffic and driving. But I ran to the Target down the road and back and it wasn’t too bad at 11am, so I feel better knowing if there’s an emergency errand I need to make, I can still pull that off. Also good for non-perishable necessities in the week. I still did my Wednesday Night trip to Publix to check out the new week’s BOGOs, but I consider that a type of therapy so I don’t mind that one.

I had enough food to feed us every night, pack lunches every day, AND I managed not to forget Kite Day! Which was canceled.

IMG_6897I cooked one meal not at a meal time (Spaghetti on Monday Morning) and that was great because I heated that up when I let the dog out Wednesday after work but before soccer and the kids ate it on the way to soccer. That was my best move of the week. I usually make them sandwiches and then they get something light afterwards, but I don’t like that because then they get no hot meals that day. My kids are not great eaters, I hate when they get NOTHING cooked during the day. My Dad used to make us get hot lunch at school because he never cooked and thought we needed at least one guaranteed “real” meal a day. I kinda feel the same way, like I’ve failed my kids if they didn’t eat at least one meal that required heat in preparation.

So! Spaghetti To Go worked GREAT. I felt much better about the evening and the kids thought it was hysterical. I heated it up in the glass storage containers which stay hotter, and wrapped it in a towel and put it in an insulated lunch box. They both started the meal on the way TO soccer in the car, but Wes didn’t finish so he finished his after soccer on the way to his cousin’s t-ball game. It stayed warm enough for his standards, so success! I packed parmesan cheese and everything. I was really proud of that move and I think I’ll do that every week. Cook a batch of spaghetti just for heating up on nights we have soccer.

I definitely feel better about this week than last week.

One CRAZY note. I’m having a kinda-last minute yard sale tomorrow. We had it on the calendar for awhile, but then it was supposed to rain all day so I thought I’d wait. But now it looks like it will just be overcast so I think I’ll be up all night pricing items and making signs because we may not have another chance and I need to get rid of a bunch of stuff. This may be a little insane, to prepare for a yard sale in one day, but when have I ever done anything the easy way?

9 Comments

  • Mike Jackson

    Kim if anyone can pull a one day yard sale off, it’s you. You are definitrlely the master scheduler!!! With the insanity I am taking on in the early AM this summer I need to take some tips about how you pull it al together so gracefully!!!????

  • Amanda

    i work full time outside the house and I have had to train myself to think of everything a week in advance. Friday mornings I plan the next weeks menu and grocery list and its worked so far!
    Soccer just started last week for us so I’m trying to figure out what works for us. I need to remember water bottles, snacks and something to entertain the one not playing. I failed last week and she was a nightmare! Dinner those nights is cereal when we get home but I love the spaghetti in the car idea!
    You’re amazing Kim!

    • zoot

      THANKS! The water/snacks/etc for practice is one reason why I don’t mind having to run home between work and soccer to let out the dog. Gives me a chance to get the cold stuff out of the fridge!

  • Amanda

    Body image stuff!! Yes. Pretty much everyone who knows me would tell you I am fine exactly as I am, and they aren’t totally wrong. You know how I think of it, though? It’s my body and I know where I’m most comfortable with it and it’s my business to decide whether or not I’m there yet. I think you’re right about it being like the makeup/hair dye thing. Based on photos of you, I think you look fantastic–but it’s your body and if YOU want to lose some weight? That’s ok, too.

    Maybe I’m wrong but I also kind of feel like running makes us (it has me, anyway) at least slightly less concerned with society’s beauty standards and more focused on what weight/shape I need to be in to really perform at my best.

  • Kate

    I also agree on body image being personal. I want to get a few more inches gone because *I* want them gone. Just like I want the walls a certain color or my bed made- sure society probably agrees that a made bed is good but that is not why I do it! It does not drive me crazy but I am more happy when my goals (of all sorts large and small) are met.

  • melanie

    I think you are amazing. The amount of life you pack into 24 hours is inspiring. I also think your body is your business. We tend to go in spurts in my home….several weeks of eating every meal at home and then really sporadic meals of subway or a grocery store rotisserie chicken. I only work 6hrs a day and still I don’t accomplish a fraction of your activities!

  • Lindsey

    I totally noticed the missing post yesterday. I hoped you weren’t totally frazzled with your new schedule, so I’m glad that wasn’t it.

    As for body image stuff, I don’t like to think of it in terms of the scale, but rather how I feel and look (to myself, not to the world). So I definitely get it if you feel the desire to lean out a bit to meet your goals. It isn’t shallow at all.

  • Grace

    You are amazing. I have said that before.

    Body image: It’s your body. Mine’s mine. I am at a good weight and strength now, have been for ages, but I am attentive to it always. The thing is, I never tell anyone in Real Life that I am dieting, maintaining, etc. I just say no to donuts. Or bagels. Or whatever. If people tell me something like “Oh, you’re so skinny, you can have it” I just smile and say “you’re so kind to say so.” You can of course post it here for us to support you!!! We will!!! If you don’t want sort of negative feedback in re body image I recommend you don’t say negative stuff (if 17 lbs is negative, I don’t know) IRL.

  • Mar

    Well I’ll comment about the weight thing . . . Now that I know you wanted to chat about it! I honestly think that if you want to lose the weight because you feel better at that weight then I don’t think it’s anything but what works best for you. You’ve mentioned that being at that weight feels better for you for running and honestly the needs of athletes are pretty different than the what general population needs (yes I just called you an athlete) and that includes weight.