Day 01 was the WORST DAY EVER.

Thank you for being honest and telling me that it probably will take about 2 weeks before I feel the benefits of trying to break the sugar habit. But day one was ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH. And now I find myself thinking 13 more days? I don’t think I can do it.

And y’all – this is not even the full detox! I’m allowing myself to have fruit! And I ate a crap load of fruit yesterday and I was still miserable.

I will say this – I was oddly not as hungry as I usually am. I have a weird diet since I’m eating all plant-based, but can’t stomach anything raw, so I tend to eat OFTEN and when I eat it’s because I’m STARVING TO DEATH.

But oddly, yesterday, I didn’t get the crazy hunger pangs I usually get, indicating it’s time to eat.

But other than that? I felt AWFUL. I was exhausted and sad and really sad and also super sad.

Now – part of this is because Wesley is in a new type of terror phase. And I think I would have rather had the spitting and the kicking from before, this one involves a whole lot of “I HATE YOU!”s and “YOU ARE SO MEAN!”s and “I WISH YOU WEREN’T MY MOM!”s and it’s just super lovely. So, you know, that tends to make me sad because I’m so terrible and knowing how to handle this.

Also? My husband is not the best person in the planet when it comes to “noticing his wife is working her ass off getting the house ready to sell” and instead opts to sometimes say really asinine things indicating that I don’t give a crap about things that need updating or repairing around the house. Even though I’ve been getting up before 4am for 3 weeks straight so I can get all of that stuff taken care of. So, yeah – when you work really hard around your house and the only other adult doesn’t even notice? It can make you super sad.

(In his defense, he doesn’t notice anything. Whereas I notice EVERYTHING. This has always been an issue for us. To extremes of one personality spectrum.)

So – the super sadness from yesterday? Could have been related to the other chaos in my life and have NOTHING to do with not having my go-to treats throughout the day.

But I really think it had a lot to do with those Go To treats. Because that is ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT when the Sads hit me.

I really am a textbook example of someone with a food addiction problem. I consider it an impressive skill.

But I did it. I kept my “bad” sugars under 8 grams and none of those were eve in anything “sweet” they were just sneaky grams in things like my vegan refried beans. I did have a lot of fruit, but I consider those indulgences the only think that kept me from crawling into a hole and crying all day.

I tried Agave Nectar in my coffee and DID NOT LIKE IT. However! I did try it in my tea and that was good! I’m putting unsweetened almond milk in everything (coffee and tea) as well which helps cut the bitterness a little of both. It’s not ideal in terms of flavor, but it’s something I could handle.

I don’t think I realized how much I was coming to depend on my once-a-day diet root beer. It was my “replacement” for my 10-a-day Diet Coke habit. I do still sometimes enjoy Diet Coke when I’m needing a caffeine boost, but mostly it’s a 16oz bottle of diet root beer that I use to break up my day and I was REALLY wanting one of those yesterday. Every time I opened the fridge and saw them my heart ached a little. It was tough.

Again: Textbook Example of someone with a Food Addiction.

I don’t plan on documenting EVERY SINGLE DAY of this journey but main – yesterday was SO ROUGH and I wasn’t even doing a full sugar detox – I just figured I’d at least let the world know how addicted I am to sugar that one day of cutting back dramatically made me consider institutionalizing myself. You know – so you can get some perspective on your own addictions. Well…at least I’m not as bad as Kim… is basically the reason I blog.

Here’s to a much better Day 02. I’ll be honest, barring any real catastrophes? It couldn’t get much worse.

8 Comments

  • alexa

    Yuck, sorry you had such a terrible day. I’ve never done a sugar cleanse before so I’m curious how yours goes. I do notice that if I have a piece of candy or cake or something like that I crave crappy food the rest of the day…and usually give in to those cravings.
    I hope it gets better for you soon.
    And I’m totally curious about how your goes so I for one wouldn’t mind hearing all about it. 🙂 What counts as a “bad” sugar? Just one not naturally occurring in fruit?
    Hope today is better!
    ps Nothing irritates me more than when I’ve worked my a$$ of on something in the house and my husband doesn’t notice (basically every time I clean ever).

  • Hillary

    That does sound like a tough day. Good for you for doing so well! I know the day will come when my son says something like that to me and I can’t imagine not completely and totally falling apart.

    I have to say, I’ve never thought “at least I’m not as bad as Kim” but one time I did think to myself “Kim would understand my urge to buy and eat that entire cookie cake”. And thinking that someone out there in the universe would understand actually helped me not buy and eat the entire cookie cake. So your honesty about your struggles has done good in the world!

  • susan

    Sorry yesterday sucked and I hope today is better. I understand a little about the soda — I love my Coke and diet Pepsi so much, and it’s hurts to give them up. I think about them a lot. So . . . probably addicted.

  • Karen

    Big hugs! I went thru this when I went off my beloved Dr. Pepper a month ago– Day 3 was the worst but I made it– drank alot of unsweet tea — I miss the bubbles but I am starting to feel healthier.

  • K

    Oh man this is so timely for me! About three weeks ago, I pretty much gave up processed sugar as best I could. It’s hard to avoid it entirely, but I didn’t realize how much sugar I was consuming in any given day. I’m still eating fruit and naturally-occurring sugars, but man, those first couple of days, I felt HIDEOUS. It definitely gets easier, and I find that I really don’t crave sugary stuff anymore (I thought that was a myth but…you know, apparently it’s not). I feel awesome now. Really looking forward to keeping up with your journey with this.

  • Kathleen

    I just want to cheer you for trying. I’m still…still trying to wean myself off the dr pepper and I have a decent relationship with the rest of the food world.

    Go Kim!

  • phancymama

    Oh please do keep talking about how this is going! While it sounds kind of underhanded to say I’m glad you also have food addictions, I really do because it makes me feel less alone. Well, I guess that is why I am glad you talk about it.
    I managed to dramatically reduce my sugar for about a month last spring, really down to just fruit and honey. It worked because it was the same time my child started sleeping through the night (so I had tons of energy) and my spouse started his “off” season and was home weekends and evenings at decent hours. I’ve been trying to cut some food addictions for the last month, and sincerely being able to cram chocolate into my mouth is the only thing that is keeping me sane at least right now. So sigh.