Let The NaBloPoMo Failure Begin!

For those of you who don’t know, November was dubbed National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) many, many moons ago in the attempt by organizers to challenge wannabe authors to just write every day on their novel. Back in 2004? 2005? Some person adapted it a little bit for bloggers and introduced National Blog Writing Month (NaBloPoMo) and challenged bloggers to write something every day during November. I try every year and I fail often but I think – over all – I’ve been more successful than not in the last 10+ years of trying.

But I’m not optimistic this year due to my metamorphosis into Woman Who Needs An Alarm To Wake Up For The First Time In Basically Her Whole Life.

If there’s anything I haven’t written about lately that you guys would like updates on, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND GIVE ME IDEAS TO GET ME THROUGH THIS MONTH!

I’m going to start NaBloPoMo by sharing with you a terrible poem I wrote IN HIGH SCHOOL when I was nose-deep into Catholic Youth Leadership. My daughter had to write a poem recently and so I showed her this one and she thought I was – maybe 6 – when I wrote this. HER CRITICISM WAS NOT WRONG.

Tomorrow comes another day
With bright green trees and yellow hay
As the sun shines brightly
I smile slightly
The Lord has made another day.

OMG. While I’m proud of the rhyme/rhythm everything else is total shat but Y’all? I loved that poem so much I memorized it and wrote it books and cards like it was my most proud creation. It is still taking up space in my head and I’m all: CLEAR OUT. I NEED ROOM TO REMEMBER MEETING TIMES AND OBLIGATIONS!

I always wanted to be a writer and in my head that meant “novelist” but I’ve come to learn in the journey of this blog that – while I have dozens of starter ideas for novels – I don’t really have the patience for that type of project. I enjoy the short memoir style writing. Which is why I’m still blogging – without any compensation – long past the days when blogging was cool. I just feel like writing blurbs from my life helps me feel like a writer and also acts as a type of catharsis.

Like the other day when I accidentally have my husband’s phone number to a young gay man, I came home and immediately wrote a Facebook status about it to help me purge the embarrassment from my system.

It did not work.

So I’ll end Day 01 of NaBloPoMo by sharing the story here – in longer form.

I’m at Publix grocery shopping and I notice a flamboyant young man shopping with an older woman. These pairings always catch my eye because I’m an adult women with a gay adult son and I like to see other possible combos like ours out and about. About 15 minutes into my grocery trip I’m in the same aisle with the young man and older woman and he stops me to rave about my tattoo. Remember: I AM VERY SOCIALLY AWKWARD. Luckily, I talk about my tattoo a lot so I just gave the speech about the artist and how long it took and yada yada yada. He gets out his phone which broke my script a bit and whenever I lose track in social situations, that’s when the anxiety settles in. He has his phone out? Why and then I shift into Mumbling Awkward Zoot mode as he says, “Can I have her studio number?”

I tried to regain my footing and told him I didn’t know it but tried to explain where her studio was and he let me know he just moved into town the day before. This caused me to stumble again because how do I explain her studio to a guy who doesn’t know Huntsville? So now I’m in full mumbling awkward Zoot mode and then he kindly says, “How about you just give me your number and we can get coffee there? I don’t know anyone in town yet?”

Now – because he was a young gay man shopping with an older woman there was NO part of me worried that he was A) hitting on me or B) trying to prey on me in anyway. At this point, all of my awkwardness was just because THIS WAS A SOCIAL SITUATION I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS.

And then he game me his phone and told me to just text myself something so I’d have his number too.

This all happened so fast and my awkwardness was slowing me down so I could tell I was giving him weird vibes as I just stared at his phone. He very sweetly said, “No big deal if not!” And I said, “No! That’s fine, I just was confused because I thought I was going to just enter a contact!” And he laughed and said, “That would be find too I just thought this was quicker.” So I entered in my number in the text and said, “This is Kim.” He thanked me kindly and sweetly went back to shopping with the woman I did gather was his Mom when she made a comment about him being, “Like his Father.”

The whole thing frazzled me so much though that I completely forgot my shopping list and so I just went to check out and sat in the car for a minute to process what just happened. Then I started laughing and called my husband because – IT WAS OUR ANNIVERSARY. I called him and laughed and told him the awkwardness and said, “SO I think I gave a gay many my phone number on our anniversary, is that okay?” He laughed and then said, “I actually think you gave him mine. I got a really weird text a few minutes ago from a number I don’t recognize and all it said was, “This is Kim.”

???????????

I guess I’m not used to typing MY number and my husband’s is just one off from mine so I accidentally entered DONNIE’S number into this young gay man’s phone.

So, yeah. That’s the type of writing I prefer. Expunging social awkwardness in writing form so I don’t wake up covered in Embarrassment Sweat remembering it repeatedly for the next 20 years. If you suffer from extreme social awkwardness YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Happy Day 01 of NaBloPoMo. Here’s to hoping I make it to the end.