FOCUS.

When my anxiety escalates, my ability to focus deteriorates. It’s like all of the energy my brain uses to keep me focused gets sucked into my anxiety attacks and then I start to get more anxious because OH MY GOD, I CAN NOT KEEP FOCUS.

I do believe, sometimes, it’s a defensive reaction. I think part of my brain is trying to keep me from focusing on what’s making me anxious, but to do that my brain says, “Let’s just not focus on ANYTHING because we’re not exactly sure what’s making her anxious.” And honestly? I’m kinda okay with that.

But this week I was anxious about Sweetie and work and I’ve been working on mending some relationships that have been burdening my heart and my anxiety has just been beyond manageable. On Tuesday, Nikki – my empath – left a note in my bag and in it, she gave me a little charm that says “Good Luck” on it that she said got her into her magnet program so maybe it would help me. And while “luck” was not really what I needed, I did feel soothed by the love of the gesture from her and found myself holding it as a sort of calming mechanism to remind me that nothing that I was stressing about was as important as the love my daughter had for me, and that was enough.

But oddly? Having it nearby to touch and hold? Kept me super focused all day. I would find myself panicking about something work related and I just grabbed that little lady bug off my desk and held it in my hand and it would help me focus, keep me from spiraling. IT WAS FASCINATING. I ended up just keeping it in my hand all the time, unless I needed two hands to type, and I held it during a stressful meeting and it just gave me so much focus it was WEIRD. When I had a face-to-face with a loved one when I had ONE mission (to explain my love), I held it to keep me from getting so emotional that I would lose track of my mission. I would feel myself getting “off topic” and would rub that charm and it reminded me: DO NOT FORGET WHY YOU ARE HERE. IT’S ABOUT LOVE AND NOTHING ELSE.

I told my therapist about it and gave it to her to see and she told me she could feel the energy coming off of it, which may be silly, but I kinda understood what she meant.

Anyway – I need to give my daughter her Good Luck charm back because she needs it too. But how do I create that same effect in something of my own? I found worry stones on Etsy and I thought about trying one of those, but is part of the power the energy behind the charm as it came from someone who loved me?

Have any of you ever had luck with tools like this? I’m fascinated by how well it worked in my own life but I’m not sure if anything else would fit the bill but something give with such pure intentions.