A Dizzy Monkey Race Report

Holy Crap, y’all. This weekend was basically perfect in every way. I wouldn’t change one thing, I wouldn’t do anything differently. Everything that could have gone wrong (and does, as many racers can attest to) went right and I ended a 75.3 mile week feeling like I had just finished any other build week in preparation for my 100K training. Except for the monstrously sore throat which I think is either a sign that my body is like, “FINALLY! WE CAN GET SICK!” or maybe it’s just the after-effect of ingesting so much salt to avoid cramping. Either way – when you do a 50K followed by a marathon and the only thing you have to complain about is your sore throat? You’re doing great.

Dizzy Fifties

This race report will be short because it was my fourth Dizzy so not much new to relate about the course or my experience. My plan was to go in and take it easy and walk ALL of the uphills because I knew I needed to save my legs for the Flying Monkey with it’s insane elevation profile. I teamed up with two friends and the three of us just decided to stick together and it was GREAT. We had a few other friends pop in here and there – not racers, just friends looking for people to run with – and that was a pleasant change to past years! I’ve never had the random drop-in from a non-racer before and it definitely gives you a boost of unexpected energy. But the two friends who I stuck it out with the rest of the race gave me my best Dizzy to date. Not my best time, but the best day. The weather was great. I never got The Sads which I sometimes do on ultras when I end up alone out in the woods. I never thought about quitting. I never walked when it wasn’t a “Kim Needs To Save Her Legs” decision. Nothing ever hurt too bad. My back started tightening up on the last 9 miles, but I stretched it out on a bench in the woods and then just kept moving the final 5 miles so I could get to my foam roller before it cramped up entirely.

All in all? A lovely day with friends on the trails. I finished in an unofficial time of 7:50 which is only about eleven minutes slower than my first Dizzy, so considering how deliberate I was being about “taking it easy” – I’m proud I came that close to one of my previous years!

And then I threw my stuff in my car, headed home, soaked in the tub, ran to the store, and hit the road.

And then Donnie realized he forgot something so we turned around. And then hit the road again.

And then I realized I forgot something so we turned around. And then hit the road agin.

We made it to Nashville, ate a quick dinner next to the hotel, and I think I was asleep by 9 at the latest.

Flying Monkey


I woke up with my alarm (I rarely need an alarm but the morning after a 50K I knew I would) around 4am and spent some time drinking caffeine and rolling out my back with my foam roller. I felt pretty good, I was mainly just loosening thing up in preparation, not because I was hurting. I felt stiff but not sore which is an important distinction that you make whenever you do back-to-back long runs. Basically I felt just like I would on the days I was going for another Sunday long run on top of a Saturday long run, which I’ve done often this season. I had no new blisters or chaffing. Two things I was REALLY worried about because it would suck to start a difficult marathon already blistered or chaffed.

It was sub-30 when we got to the race start and my nerves were settling in. I was opting to take advantage of the early race start because I was worried I would need more than 7 hours. There weren’t a lot of people there yet because I was early and I could feel my nerves just spiraling out of control. I really wanted to see my friend who talked me into the Dizzy Monkey because I didn’t know anyone and after the friend-supported day before, I missed my friends. I stood out in the cold amazed by how many people from other states were meeting and greeting each other. There were TONS of the “Marathon Maniacs” there which seems like a great running community that I could qualify for, I just never have bothered signing up. After seeing how spirit-filled they all were, though, I kinda want to now.

Trent, the race director, wearing his Seneca Crane facial hair (every year the race has a theme, this year was The Monkey Games), made some hilarious announcements saying things like, “If you get to the finish line and you’re device says more than 26.2 miles, I won’t charge you for the extra.” We started a very short grass path to the road and we were on our way!

I knew it was going to be a fun day when the first sign I passed said, “TRENT SUCKS.”

There was also a sign on the first major hill that said, “LAST HILL” (every hill would end up having those signs) and at the top there was one that said, “300 feet of elevation gain. Only 3200 feet to go!”

The signs were part of the spirit of the race. People had monkey hats on and many – like me – had stuffed monkeys somewhere on their person. People were walking hills which is probably something a marathon maniac knows a lot about because the only way you could do all of those marathons (one guy there had done 300 in one year!) is to take it easy at all of them. So, I followed suit and was happy to have company. That was my plan I stuck to the whole day: I walked all of the hills and ran all of the downs.

I struggled a tiny bit mentally early on, just because I was a bit lonely. But the day was BEAUTIFUL. Cold, REALLY cold depending on what side of the mountain you were on, but the skies were the perfect color of blue with just a speckling of white puffy clouds so every time I felt lonely I’d look around and be grateful I could enjoy such a beautiful race.

By the time I got past the halfway mark I started feeling MUCH happier. I was thinking about how I was going to talk my friends into joining me the next year. The aid stops and sentry locations were filled with wonderful cheerleaders that were so encouraging it gave me a boost every time. And when the “regular” starters started passing me as an “early” starter, they were all kind and encouraging. I tried to hug the outside of the turns to let them have the inside so I probably added a mile on my distance just to stay out of their way, but they never made me feel like they were annoyed by me.

Everyone there was just NICE. No one is trying to qualify for anything because the course isn’t certified, everyone is proud to be a repeat-monkey so they’re excited to find people who have never done it before. And everyone is MISERABLE on EVERY hill which is kinda comical and makes you all laugh together. Towards the end on one short but steep climb there was a sign that said, “This is not a hill” and I just laughed my ass off. I also cracked up over the one that said “8 miles left!” when we only had 3 remaining.

IMG_1178All in all? A race I can’t wait to do again. And again. And again. I could see it being terrible if I had gotten blisters or if I hadn’t committed to walking the hills, but yesterday was simply great. My only issue was I felt my quads, mainly my left quad, on the verge of cramping basically the entire day. So, I kept my electrolytes in check the entire time. I definitely couldn’t have done trails on that kind of issue because any stretch in the wrong direction might have caused a cramp. I was glad I could just do the ultra shuffle on the road and not stress about logs to climb over or roots to catch me up.

I’ll do it again. And by “it” I mean the “Dizzy Monkey” – not even just the Flying Monkey. I think I liked having an excuse to walk the hills. I settled into a great trot that carried me over the downs/flats and just power-walked the hills for an unofficial finish of 5:30.

I ran 57.3 miles in two days and it took me about 13:30. This gives me a good feel for how long it will take me to do my 100K. I’ve been saying “under 15 hours” and I think I can still hold to that.

About the Sign

How does it look? #MonkeyMarathon #DizzyMonkey

A photo posted by Kim Holmes (@misszoot) on

I took it off before the race even started.

Before race day I envisioned myself being the lone walker on all of the hills and people just flying past me all day, hence the sign would be funny. But as I stood at the start line, feeling surprisingly good, I starting worrying, What if I’m not the slowest one today? I mean, how terrible would it feel to be struggling on a tough marathon and see ME pass you WEARING THAT SIGN? That would probably make you feel terrible. And while I knew I’d be walking the ups, I felt good and figured I’d probably be running everything else so…why make someone else feel terrible?

And I’m glad I took it off because, as an early starter, I was actually finishing with some 4:30 marathoners and I would NOT have wanted to make them feel bad when I passed them because they were an hour faster than me and they had no way of knowing that.

In Conclusion

I don’t know what my big goal for next year will be, but as long as the Dizzy Monkey doesn’t conflict with it? I’ll do it again. But hopefully I’ll talk others into joining me. It’s that fun! Donnie even wants to do it next year! Maybe not both, but at least the Monkey! If for nothing else but for the shirt WITH MY NAME ON IT! Do you see? It says “ZOOT” – so did my race bib! If I understand things correctly, next year my shirt will have a monkey on my sleeve to indicate I’ve survived ONE before. How awesome is that?IMG_1184

I feel good, y’all. It’s amazing what a difference proper training makes. I told Donnie last night, “If this weekend had gone terribly I would have regretted every 3am wakeup of the last 2 months.” But it didn’t. It went perfectly so it’s all worth it.

I’m a proud Dizzy Monkey.


Possibly The Most Insane Month Of My Life.

This weekend is my back-to-back race weekend. I’ll do the Dizzy 50s 50K on Saturday for my fourth time. I’ll come home quickly and soak in a bath of epsom salts and jump in the car with the family to drive to Nashville. Sunday morning I’ll do Flying Monkey Marathon which is already my most unique marathon experience ever just with the lottery registration process and the official emails. I can tell it’s going to be memorable but it will also be terrible because it has the SAME elevation gain (same amount of climbing) as my toughest 50K last year which took me a hair under 8 hours. This will be road so the flat parts won’t be covered in mud, but still…I need to finish this thing in under 7. I AM KINDA FREAKING OUT.

Flying Monkey Elevation Profile - Looks like there are no flats.

Flying Monkey Elevation Profile – Looks like there are no flats.

Since this will be 57.3 miles in one weekend, I’ve basically been training like my 100K is this weekend instead of in January. I’ve been running 60 miles a week most weeks, even on m “rest” weeks I’m doing around 50. I feel ready and trained and I dropped the 10lbs I put on last year. Still not down to my “ideal” racing weight but I can definitely feel the difference in my performance from losing that extra weight.

The main challenge I’ve faced is that my domestic life has gotten HARDER, not EASIER. In theory, this is “my” season so Donnie helps out more with the kids and the house since I do everything in the Summer during his training season. The problem is, he’s had HUGE deadlines this month so he’s working 80-hour work weeks. So, not only is he not able to help out much with the kids and the house, but he’s not arranging childcare or pet care for our race trips which is a huge stressor I hate dealing with on top of a race. I’m doing all of my runs in the mornings before he goes to work and on the weekends he works from home while I’m running. I’m still cooking every night and doing all of the laundry and the dishes AND trying to make progress towards getting the house ready for some contract work that starts in a month or so. I also thought it would be a good idea to launch a small web project, to join group that has it’s first meeting that requires a small amount of reading, AND AND AND…it’s NaBloPoMo.


But what are you going to do, right?

Edited to Add: I was already running a little late this morning as I got a little sidetracked hunting down elevation profiles and then GUESS WHO CALLED ME AT 3:50am? MY OLDEST CHILD! He hadn’t gone to bed yet and wanted to update me…they won their LipJam competition last night! His last event as the president of his fraternity. Amazing group shot here. I’m going to be late today but I don’t care now because I got to talk to my kid which is rare when your kid is 20 and super active in 90 million extra-curricular activities.


The Long Road To A Sub-2 Half

I ran the Huntsville Half Marathon in 2006 – my FIRST half marathon. Don’t let this finish line picture fool you. I hated it. I was happy because it was over.


That was the year I tried to become a runner on my own (without a group) and didn’t train super-consistently. Also? It was raining. And cold. And the race was a lot smaller back then. So even though my finish time wasn’t too bad (2:33) I was super alone and was depressed and at one point saw my family in the race at mile 10 and started crying and wanted to quit. It was so hard. My race report is here.

Yesterday was my 15th half marathon and my 6th go at the Huntsville Half. 5 times in a row since I actually started running for real (with groups) and consistently in 2011. And yesterday? COULD NOT HAVE GONE BETTER. As evidenced by this picture taken around the halfway point. I AM SO GOOFY. (Edited to add this because I LEFT IT OFF: Official Time: 1:56:04.)

2015 HSV Half Grway (804 of 1743)-L

Let’s back track 2 years first…

2 years ago I spent my season focused on my attempt at 50 miles at a 12-hour race in the Spring. I did well/PRd on all of my 50Ks and marathons that year, and did a half marathon (Oak Barrel Half) where my friend Kevin really pulled me to breaking my 2:05 PR with a 2:01. I knew that entire day I could not have done it without him talking to me the whole time and pushing me. He got me a 4 minute PR and I was BEYOND AMAZED AT MYSELF. I also PR’d a local 10K and finally got below a 25-minute 5K that season. IT WAS THE SEASON OF THE PR’s.

When my friend pulled me to a 2:01 that year though – even though it was a 4-minute PR – I still couldn’t help but think “That’s SOOO CLOSE to a sub-2 hour…” which I never thought possible in my skill set.

Last year I got zero PRs. Last year I was focused on just grand slamming and I was not training well during the week and things were just a mess. I put on weight because I was stressing about selling our house and it just was not the year to break time goals. I grand slammed which is great, but no PRs. AND OF COURSE THAT’S THE YEAR SOMEONE MADE THE PR GONG. And I didn’t get to hit it ONCE.

SO NOW…this year’s Huntsville Half. I had been considering trying to break 2 hours here for awhile. But I knew my big race weekend was the next week and I didn’t want to be sore for that. Also? I needed a pacer. If there was anything I learned the race I got my 2:01, it was that I need someone to pull me to my goals. I can’t do it alone. Also? WEATHER. So much depends on the weather.

Up until last week I still hadn’t found anyone to pace me. BUT THE WEATHER WAS GOING TO BE AMAZING. And I had been doing “speed work” on the treadmill so I knew I was getting faster. I hate speed work, and really all I do is negative splits on the treadmill, but that’s still work to get faster so I call it “speed work”. I was still considering it but I had NO PACER, and I was worried.

Then my friend said her husband signed up last minute and he was probably shooting for a casual (for him) 2 hour. Obviously I’d be working hard for my 2 hours but doing it alongside someone who can talk at that speed is the way to go because I knew I wouldn’t be able to.

I felt GREAT on miles 1-9. We were keeping sub-9s pretty easily. I was even talking a little bit here and there. It was hard, for sure, but I felt good and I didn’t have to think too much about holding the pace. I felt I could hold it for 2 hours.

But then we got to that dreaded 10th mile again where you lose your shade and you just have a long stretch of road in the sun and it suddenly became harder. It didn’t get bad, I was never considering quitting or giving up my goal, but I was doing math in my head and realizing we had banked some good time under 2 hours and maybe I could slow down a little bit and still make my sub-2 goal.

So I focused my energy on ignoring that voice and just holding steady. AND IT TOOK ALL OF MY ENERGY. I stopped talking and just focused in on the reports my friend was giving me. Luckily he counts down things exactly like I do. “Quarter mile until we hit that 10-mile point” and “6 laps until the finish line” and “Just this one more hill and then its downhill” – so he was vocalizing everything I needed to tick all of those things off so I could just go one mile at a time, or even one quarter-mile at a time, and not think too far ahead. When you’re running outside of your “happy pace” then every half of a mile is hard. My happy pace takes me 30 miles, yesterday’s pace? 13.1 ONLY.

The funny thing is that our fastest mile? Was mile 12. We did that sucker in like 8:18 I think. We killed it. I was so ready to be done!

And at the finish line my friend learned that I’m a hugger because that was my first instinct when I saw my time at the finish line.

I’m a sub-2 hour half marathon hugger, I can’t help it.



All in all? The perfect day. I don’t feel terrible this morning, just stiff, so taper week is still on track. I’ve got 9 trail miles on the books today but they’ll be easy ones and should feel good on the old legs. I’m happy. I’m happiest because I can die with that PR and not be disappointed so NEXT YEAR, next year I’m going to finally volunteer at the race. I owe them that!

So, when someone asks me what training plan I used to finally get a sub-2hour half? I have to say, “Um…a 100K training plan. With some negative split treadmill training.”

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My Anniversary Race.

379171_10150527516128496_2004057617_n (1)According to Facebook, I ran the Huntsville Half Marathon on this day in 2011. On Saturday I’ll run it again for the 5th time in a row. It’s a sentimental race to me because it was my first half marathon back in 2006 when I first attempted to become a runner and then my first half marathon in 2011 when I successfully became a runner. I failed miserably in 2006 because I tried to do it on my own and after 2 decent half marathons and one almost 8-hour marathon (that’s how long it takes if you walk 18 miles of it) I swore off running FOREVER. “I am not a runner! I hate it!” Is something I actually said. Which, if you are new here, you probably wouldn’t believe.

A year after my almost 8-hour marathon I was pregnant with Wes and wrote this:

I think the half-marathon is the distance for me. For now. I won’t train for another marathon until I’m done having kids and the ones I have are all at least potty trained. Until then, I want to try to at least run one half-marathon a year. Because that’s also a distance I feel proud about, but not one that takes me away from my family an unreasonable amount of time.

In 2011 I signed up for the Fleet Feet half marathon training course, making my first attempt back at running since that first go in 2006. That was the best decision I’ve ever made and I’ve not stopped running since. Small injuries and one failed pregnancy and miscarriage kept me out for small chunks of time…but I think the longest “break” was 2 months. I’ve completed 33 half-marathons or longer since I wrote about maybe doing one 13.1 a year. I’ve run 2 stage races (3 days in a row of racing), 7 50Ks, and 3 12-hour runs where once I ran 52 miles. In less than 2 weeks I’m doing my first back-to-back (50K on Saturday, Marathon on Sunday) and then I’m signed up for my first 100K in January.

All of that change in 4 years.

I had originally wanted to try to PR this race on Saturday, since it’s my sentimental favorite. I was hoping to try for a sub-2hour as my current PR is 2:01, but then I decided that “racing” a race instead of just “running” it one week before my 57-mile race weekend would probably be stupid. So, I’m going to show up and have fun. Period. I’m going to enjoy the race that started my career and I’m going to reflect on how much one person can change in 4 years. My only regret – if you can call it that – is that I didn’t start this journey while Dad was still alive. He was there for my almost-8 hour marathon in 2007 and I’m certain he thought I’d never do the things I’m doing now.

But…it was his death and the depression that followed and the unbearable grief that pushed me out of my comfort zone in 2010 to join boot camp and again in 2011 to join that training class. So, I guess there’s really no way he could have seen it since it was his death that pushed me down the path to begin with.

The day I ran that Huntsville Half Marathon in 2011 to complete my Fleet Feet training…I had just started considering maybe the next year doing a full marathon. I had learned what proper training could do and thought maybe I’d give it a go. There was no part of me considering triathlons though, and I’ve done a few of those in the 4 years too. I think surprising yourself once is something that ripples across your life. Signing up for the training class to begin with, then hurdling my social anxieties which made me skip some of the early weeks, then crossing the finish line with my friends? All of those things surprised me, so my self-imposed limits have stretched out further and further to where they basically don’t exist anymore. It’s all just a factor of time now.

That’s what happened to me training for the Huntsville Half Marathon in 2011, my nevers became ifs and then crossing that finish line? They turned into whens.


Boob Chafing Is The New Boob Sweat

My last trimester of my pregnancy with Nikki fell over the summer and I was driving a car without air-conditioning working a job with a long commute.

It was as terrible as it sounds.

That was the summer I really spent a lot of time thinking and writing about boob sweat. How uncomfortable it made me. How gross it was. And how hard it was to deny it’s existence when there were constantly BOOB SWEAT marks on my shirt. ALL DAY EVERY DAY WITH THE BOOB SWEAT.

I was still driving that car several summers in a row and I discovered boob sweat is also terrible when you’re not pregnant. But since you are no longer pregnant, it seems a lot less cute and definitely not something people are willing to ignore.

I finally bought a minivan after Wes was born and it had air conditioning! The boob sweat entries faded into history. Until I started running.

I sweat a lot when I run. Especially if it’s humid. I put on a pair of pajama pants OVER my running capris on Sunday after my run because I was going by someone’s house to let out their dog. When I got home I realized I had actually soaked through my pajama pants with my sweat. THAT IS A LOT OF SWEAT.

With sweat and running comes chafing and I have to REALLY be diligent about putting Aquaphor all over my bra lines or else I’ll chafe something terrible. I actually have an outline of my sports bra in slightly discolored skin where I’ve chafed so much it’s like a layer of scar tissue. It does fade eventually if I’m good about remembering the Aquaphor for an extended period of time and that skin can finally heal…but sometimes I forget.

IMG_0766I forgot on a long run last weekend and THEN I forgot on two longer weekday runs so I had TERRIBLE chafing along the bottom of where my sports bra sits and around my neckline. TERRIBLE. Like…THERE WAS BLOOD and when I would sit still for too long the oozing fluids (YUM!) would dry onto my shirt so when I moved again the shirt would rip free and I would audibly wince because MY BOOBS WERE ON FIRE.

(“BOOBS ON FIRE” – the title of my memoirs.)

So…for the first time last week I sought out assistance for how to quickly HEAL chafing. I love aquaphor for prevention, and it’s okay to heal when it’s just one layer/spot of chafed skin, but this was TERRIBLE and I needed something much faster. So you know what my friends told me? DIAPER CREAM.

So I bought diaper cream last week. For my boobs.

I was told to get white not clear because clear stings, so I got your basic generic Desitin type cream and rubbed it all over my bra line and it was THEN that I officially claimed my title of: Sexiest Lady Ever.

Haven’t forgotten the aquaphor since, in case you’re wondering.