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Random Bits Of Randomness

I have all these bits of nothing to write about today so I’m breaking out the old blogging trope: The Bulleted List. ENJOY.

  • Did I used the word “trope” right?
  • I’m taking D’s sister’s bridal portraits today and OH MY GOD I AM SO NERVOUS. This was kind of an afterthought – she’ll obviously get pictures taken of herself on her wedding day. But she’s doing a trial run of hair and makeup and they thought it might be nice to take some Bride Only shots in different places today for her parents. So, I’m trying not to be a lot of pressure on myself about it, but I’ve never done anything THIS IMPORTANT before I’m just just so worried! EEK.
  • Nikki is playing u10 soccer again this year but this year she’s one of the oldest girls, I think even the only one that played u10 last year. u10 is the year things change in our league, more serious penalties (offsides etc) and a goalie and a bigger field. This coach (not the same wonderful coach we had last year) is taking it very seriously and I’m not quite ready for this transition. The phrasing was even used once, “This is not about fun, this is about winning.” What age did sports get serious for your child? He scheduled 8+ hours of soccer this week Mon-Thursday. The only thing that thwarted that schedule was fields being used, but it was his intent. To me? This is too much. But I know at some point sports go from “fun” to “serious” and maybe this is the age?
  • I’ve not run much recently. There are several valid reasons and a handful of not-so-valid reasons. I’m looking forward to getting back on track next week assuming I can catch up on my sleep this weekend. Late nights laundry (lice), sick kids, meetings, book clubs, soccer, etc has made the last two weeks tricky as I’ve not been getting to bed as early as I’d like. I’ve had two nights this week where I’ve been up past 10 and since I need to be up by 3:30 on mornings I run, my need for sleep has trumped my need for a run. Not the best way to start off my training schedule for my 100K, but not the worst way either. Here’s to hoping next week is boring and I can get all the runs in that I want/need.
  • I binged watched How To Get Away With Murder over the last several weeks – especially when I was caring for my sick daughter – and OMG. How did anyone watch that in real time? I couldn’t have handled having to wait a week between episodes. It did get a little predictable towards the end in that I kept thinking, “Okay – what is the big twist that will end THIS episode?” And you stop believing anything the show proposes as “true” unless it’s shown you it as a flashback. I do kinda hate shows and movies like that, where the “shock” of a twist is more important that dependable characters or plots. The twists started getting a little unshocking, so much so that the death in the season finale didn’t even make me gasp. But still! LOVED IT! And I really hope Oliver plays a bigger part in this season, they introduced a hefty “twist” involving him but it could easily be used as a device to get rid of his story too, so we’ll see. I’m hoping the severity of the twists isn’t what drives me away from the show like Scandal did. You can keep people tuned in and NOT make them roll their eyes in the process, right?
  • So E has started his JUNIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE. Don’t we all feel old now? He was only home for a few days in the beginning and the end of the summer as he had an internship in Indianapolis. Since he’s the president of his fraternity he had to be back on campus early for all of the Greek Life shenanigans (his University is artsy and cooky and liberal so the Greek world is much different there than on typical college campuses) but classes started Monday and I miss him terribly. Life is insane and busy for him, I know, but holy crap I wish I could talk to him every day. I hate not knowing the minutia of his life and it’s the hardest part about watching him growing up, not knowing the silly things like: What did he wear to school today? What did he eat for breakfast? It’s weird how lost I feel not knowing the mundane elements of his life. WAH. MY BABY.

And thus ends the Random Bits of Randomness.

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My Secret Love

I love a lot of things. Harry Potter. Donuts. Office Supplies. Superhero TV and Movies. I talk about those things ALL THE TIME. But there’s something else I love that – weirdly – I don’t reference a lot. And I’m not sure why.

I love stand-up comedy.

The love started back in the days of a certain now-hated comedian from the 80s. I watched one of his specials with my Grandmother and laughed my ASS off. I didn’t really know much about the field or the genre so I just kinda sat on that love for years until random things would pop up, like radio adds for comedians coming to town. I popped into a few shows, maybe once a year, a comedy clubs and loved it all but it wasn’t until I discovered the Nerdist Podcast that I truly started feeding my love of stand-up comedy.

Chris Hardwick is a stand-up comedian who does these weekly podcasts, and early on he did a lot of his interviews with other stand-up comedians so it submerged me into the world quickly and it’s been a love ever since. I don’t necessarily go see stand-up shows at the local comedy club, but I watch specials whenever I can and I have three I’ve watched recently that I recommend highly. I am ordering them from least offensive to most offensive. Because – for some reason – I can’t watch grown-up tv shows that show too much sex or violence, but I can watch offensive stand-up comedy no problem. I think that’s the power of this type of performance, it makes you uncomfortable and that’s why it’s funny. And it’s not visual like with nudity or violence, so I stomach it better I guess? Either way – I will give you appropriate warnings. I hope.

FIRST: Is Tig Notaro. I’ve loved her for years and am still in mourning over the cancellation over her podcast – Professor Blastoff. I actually listened to the podcast from episode 1 to the end starting sometime last year and I highly recommend everyone do the same. She hosted it with two other stand-up comedians and I adored it. BUT ANYWAY…She just released her hour special with HBO and it’s GREAT. NOW…I will say this…because I listened to her podcast I had heard some of the stories and jokes in other variations before but it was still fantastic. And it’s PG so if you have fragile sensitivities like I do, it won’t make you squirm too much.

HOWEVER – she does have this “gimmick” she does that you’ve probably heard about by now, but I do worry that if you haven’t it might catch you off guard. I hate to ruin it if you don’t know it’s coming (I knew it was coming) but I do feel like I should say that you might want to watch it first before sharing it with your kids. Although my kids loved it and the gimmick actually gave us a chance to talk about a lot of issues related to the human body.

SECOND: Aziz Ansari. DO NOT WATCH THIS WITH YOUR KIDS. Mostly what’s offensive about this show is the language. But holy crap, it made me laugh my ass off. He talks a lot about dating and being single and oddly, I still found it hilarious even though I haven’t been dating or single in well over a decade. Still. SO FUNNY. If you can tolerate harsh language and sex talk then check it out.

THIRD: Tim Minchin. This show will offend anyone who has any religious sensitivities whatsoever. I almost feel terrible for loving it, but holy crap, I love it so much. Tim Minchin is a fascinating person, I’ve listened to interviews of his which I always love (I’ve linked to his commencement speech here before if you want to watch something more polite of his first) because he speaks very calmly and rationally about the lack of religion in his life, so I think that’s why I handle his harsh comedy about the same stuff better even though I typically don’t like making fun of religion.

But y’all – if you’re not sensitive to that type of stuff? His show is genius. He wrote these hilarious songs that he performs with a full orchestra which makes powerful lyrics involving the Pope and frequent uses of the f-word that much more hilarious.

If you’re not into stand-up comedy? Don’t bother with any of this. (Except maybe Tig’s show. She’s just great.) But if you do? Or you think you do? Check them out. They represent three very different types of comedian so you’ll get a good feel for what you may or may not like. Also? Check out the Nerdist podcast. I adore Chris Hardwick and after 700+ shows I’m convinced he’s the best interviewer that has ever existed in the history of time.

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To say “Thanks!” I’m allowing you to laugh at my expense…

I wasn’t asking for comments or compliments yesterday but holy CRAP, I think I needed them. Seriously. I didn’t realize how much but I really did. Thank you.

If we’re friends in real life and therefore on Facebook you’ve seen a couple of my, “I AM A BIG FAT IDIOT!” statuses lately so this entry will not make you laugh as much as everyone else. But to everyone else? HERE’S SOME STUFF TO MAKE YOU LAUGH at my expense as my way of saying THANKS!

Thing 1

IMG_9202First! I’ve not gotten much sleep this week due so this morning I was super-in-need of some coffee and was very-much looking forward to cup #2 when I walked into the kitchen and saw this. The funny part? I COULDN’T EVEN FIND MY COFFEE CUP. I had poured water in the machine, filled the re-usable k-cup, and then…put my coffee cup in the dishwasher before pressing “BREW!” It’s like one of those worksheets in elementary school where you are supposed to order the pictures in the order the tasks would be done. I put the CUP IN DISHWASHER picture before the CUP IN KEURIG picture and screwed the whole thing up.

Thing 2

IMG_9100 2I went to Nothing Bundt Cakes to order Bundtinis for my sister-in-law’s bridal shower and was being my usually socially awkward self – uncomfortable with the silence while the girl was ringing up my order – so I looked to my left and saw these things and said, “Ohhh, those look delicious!” Then I walked over and realized they were empty containers filled with tissue paper. The girl at the counter was kind enough to pretend she didn’t hear me exclaim my love for eating brown tissue paper, but the lady behind me was having a hard time stifling her laughter when she saw the moment I realized that there was actually nothing edible in those containers.

Thing 3

IMG_8845What could possibly make Wesley exclaim at yesterday at3:30am – after the 3rd time waking up leg cramps – that it was the Best. Night. Ever? Watching his Mom scream (“In a HILARIOUS way” according to him) bloody murder at this Superman Balloon creeping up our stairs at 1am (after the 2nd leg cramp wake up) and then me (and him) laughing hysterically at the entire situation, his favorite part was me declaring that Superman, “Just scared the SHIT out of me!”

For the record, my husband running out of the bedroom saying, “WHAT IS WRONG?!?!” after my scream did NOT think it was the Best. Night. Ever.

Thing 4

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This was the email I received this morning telling me I got into the Flying Monkey Marathon I was really hoping to get to do. Isn’t this the best email ever? Laugh at my pain because I have a 50K THE DAY BEFORE this marathon. Welcome to 100K training everyone! It’s going to be fun.

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On a lighter note…

Facebook just told me I uploaded this picture two years ago – which doesn’t make any sense because it’s got to be about 5 years old. But my point is: LOOK AT MY BABIES. Sometimes these flashback tools in social media serve no other purpose but to remind me how freakin’ adorable my kids used to be. Not that they’re not beautiful now, but they’re not ADORABLE…these two kids in this picture are so damn adorable MY EYES HURT. It’s hard to believe that angelic face on the left just loudly exclaimed this weekend, “MOM! I poop a poop as big as a snake!” from the bathroom.

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I’m Proudly Politically Correct.

I could share this meme/graphic out on Facebook because – as a non-believer – I guess the Bible kind of sounds like this to me too. But you know why I don’t? Because I’m not an asshat.

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I respect the Christians in my community and my family way to much to post something disrespectful like this. Is it my belief? Maybe. I guess. I don’t even like claiming those words in any way but technically I guess I do sometimes think like this in relation to words in the bible. But do I want to broadcast it across social media and stand by it? HELL NO. Not in a million years. BECAUSE I AM NOT AN ASSHAT.

I don’t think of this as being politically correct, even if that’s what it is. I think of it as being respectful of an opinion or a belief that many people in my community hold.

You can still have your convictions, even if they’re contrary to popular opinion, and still be politically correct. 84% of people in my state are Christians who believe Jesus was the son of God. Being politically correct doesn’t mean my politics or beliefs have to align with any other group, I don’t have to become a Christian to be politically correct. Being politically correct just means I don’t want to be an asshat and alienate people with the way I choose to convey my convictions to my community. I’m a vocal atheist, almost everyone on Facebook knows that because I reference it often. But I try to convey that in a way that doesn’t offend the people who do believe Jesus was the son of God. Yes, that’s me being politically correct. But mainly? It’s just me being respectful and kind. And I don’t see anything wrong with that.