As the results were rolling in the night our country elected Trump as President, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t sleep much that night because I kept waking up hoping for some miracle even though I didn’t even doze off until after the election had been called. For the next 48 hours or so I had to sometimes hold my breath or bite my tongue just to keep from crying spontaneously.
I don’t think today will be like that if our election goes to Roy Moore, because I’m bracing for that situation. I was not at all prepared for a Trump victory. But I’m still on edge today and worried about the fate of my state and the message we deliver to the world if Roy Moore wins. And because I now how much my state hates Democrats, I know there’s still a good chance Moore wins.
It was hard to know people I loved or respected had voted for Trump, but I tried to understand their hatred for Hillary as the explanation. If you watch Fox News at all, you can easily see why anyone who watched that only would hate Hillary. So, as much as it broke my heart, I was able to look past it and maintain relationships.
But y’all? This is different. I honestly don’t know anyone close to me for sure is voting for Moore. This either means they’re not as vocal about it, or they’re not supporting him. But if I found out they voted for him I just do not know how I could move past that. I’m praying if anyone I know votes for him they do it silently and they don’t openly celebrate his victory because I honestly am not sure I could maintain more than a casual relationship with someone who voted for Roy Moore. Especially if he wins, because every time he makes me ashamed of my state I’ll think of those people and their choice.
I want this Doug Jones win more than I can possibly explain. I feel it in my heart and while there’s a part of me prepared for him to lose, it is not my heart. My heart is not prepared because my heart will not be able to take it. My heart has so many political scars on it from the first year of Trump’s Presidency, it’s not strong enough to handle a Moore victory.