We break from the Harry Potter programming to discuss parenting and insanity.
Specifically…my parenting and my insanity.
Yesterday I went 3 for 3 with getting angry with my kids and failing at expressing that anger in any sort of productive way. 100% fail! Woot! #WinningAtFailing
But with the little ones, it ended in a good decision: A NO MORE SECOND CHANCE policy in our house. I’ve been trying to break Wes and Nikki of this snarky attitude they have towards me lately – it’s what I call the “DISNEY TWEEN” attitude. All of those Disney/Nick tween shows make the adults the butt of EVERY joke so they’re all rolling their eyes and getting annoyed with those dumb adults which means my kids now think I am one of those dumb adults. I’ve banned most of those shows (although I may ban more of them) trying to reprogram them, and I’m constantly doing the whole, “Excuse me?” thing to get them to repeat what they said in a better way…but as of last night? I’ve given up.
NO MORE SECOND CHANCES.
The latest bit I hate the most is the, “SOOOOOOOORY…” they give me when I’m pointing out something they didn’t do correctly.
“Wes, is that where your dish goes?”
With the tone of an annoyed teenager dealing with a nagging adult. You know, like you hear an unspoken, “Jeeeezzzz, chill out, lady…” afterwards. And while I might sometimes be a nagging adult? They are NOT allowed to be annoyed teenagers. YET.
So, the first time they dish out the attitude or rudeness? Punishments are distributed. BOOM. That’s the new policy. Because pointing out the attitude ninety million times a day and making them re-phrase or re-say what they’re trying to say with better word choices and less negative tone? None of that is actually changing their initial behavior. Now the habit is just: Snarky Attitude FIRST, then when Mom gets mad, deliver the message better but possibly with a stifled eyeroll underneath the surface.
I just really need my kids to talk to me with at least the same amount of respect I give them, more would be ideal, but I’d really just be happy with mutual respect at this point.
Also? I’m tired as crap. I’m still so very behind on life it’s not even funny. I had about 90 minutes of potential “free” time Monday night where I could maybe catch up with stuff that wasn’t house or work related (because those two things are taking top priority right now) and I couldn’t move out of the bed where the kids were watching TV. I zoned out on their shows and then just rolled up to bed. And then woke up at 3am because that is my new lovely schedule. The exhaustion is making my emotions super-raw and I’m basically crying at everything. It’s not about the lack of sleep even, I’m getting at least 5-6 hours a night (although I’ve discussed that I need much more than that to maintain my sanity) but it’s just exhaustion over my LIFE. There’s just too much going on. It feels even worse since so much built up on my vacation, but I just am having that terrible sensation that I’m in waaaaaay over my head right now and I can’t even begin to figure out where to get it all sorted out. I JUST NEED THE HOUSE TO SELL. I keep telling myself that will make things easier. Also, soccer season is finally over this week, that will help substantially. Of course, that’s been cramping into my Tri Training so now that soccer season is over I’ll just replace those hours with workouts I haven’t been doing, so it’s not like I’m going to suddenly have free time to just RELAX.
I forced myself to do some doodling in the car during Nikki’s soccer practice last night. I haven’t done it in weeks/months but I knew I needed some time to let my brain just zone out on something mindless because I could NOT stop crying after I picked up the kids yesterday. I needed to reboot my brain, if that makes sense, so I just zoned out on some doodles in my bullet journal. It helped, for sure. Need to remember that it helped and force myself to do that more often.
Sorry for the off-topic rant there at the end. Just need to document that stuff periodically in case we ever decide to sell a house again.