Donnie has been working late every night for like…DECADES it feels. It’s me, on my own, every night and I am grumpy about it. It’s not the solo parenting thing – I do most of the evening tasks even if he is here – it’s just being LONELY. I just like having another grown-up to talk to at night. Besides myself. Which I’m doing plenty of because I AM LONELY. But when I’m talking to myself I’m mean to myself because I’m also GRUMPY. I’m a lonely grumpy lady who is just spewing negativity to everyone in her family because THERE ARE NO DONUTS IN THIS HOUSE. I NEED DONUTS.
Also – we saw the sun for the first time yesterday in at least 100 years. Gray days make me grumpy.
I also have all these things I want to be doing: Finishing my book, working on a new website, taking some photos, finishing up a birthday present for a family member whose birthday is WAY TOO SOON and I’m never going to get it finished. Also? Contractor coming on Friday to give us estimates on big projects for the house before we try to sell again. I know – many say don’t spend too much if you’re just trying to sell – but the thing is, if it takes awhile we want to be less crazy than we were last time and these projects will help so! Two birds! One grumpy stone.
I’ve been sooooo stressed which makes me sooooo grumpy even if my husband came home for things other than just to sleep. I get really grumpy when I don’t feel like there’s enough time to do everything I need to do. I get in like: FULL ANXIETY MODE which means my smile disappears permanently and a scowl takes over along with no patience the proliferation of snarky guilt trips on everyone around me. I’m eating terrible even without the donuts in the house and that makes me MORE grumpy because my mood and my food choices go hand-in-hand. Eat terrible food? In terrible mood. So I’m doubling up on the cranky factor by stuffing my face with horrible food choices.
I AM A JOY.
But there’s going to be SUN today and I need a reset. I’m going to try to do that thing where I force myself to smile more because the GRUMPY FACE IS GOING TO GET STUCK IF YOU DON’T, YOUNG LADY.
I don’t even know what’s happening here anymore. What was the point of this post? I don’t even remember.
OH YEA. I’VE BEEN GRUMPY.
This is riveting material.
Also – I woke up late this morning. I woke up at 2:55am and THAT IS LATE. AND I SOMETIMES HATE MY LIFE.
Not really. I’m a morning person. This is my morning. I don’t hate it. But on paper? It looks terrible.
So – I’m already late so my efforts to wane the Grumpiness might be off to a bad start.
Let me get my coffee. It’s done brewing.
Y’all. I tried to take a picture of my coffee to use in this already RIVETING entry and I spent 15 minutes just trying to take it and then get it to my computer and THIS IS JUST MAKING ME MORE LATE.
But you have to admit. This insane stream of consciousness entry is much better with photo evidence, right?
I’m almost 100% certain this is the quality of entry the inventors of National Blog Posting Month were hoping to see when they challenged bloggers to write every day. IT DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS, PEOPLE.
So. Where were we? I’ve been grumpy because my husband has been working too much and there aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want or even NEED to do. But today? Today I’m going to try to be LESS grumpy. And smile more. So my face doesn’t get stuck in this frown.
(Please don’t leave forever. I promise I’ll write something better tomorrow.)
(No, I don’t. I make no promises of the quality of entries you’ll see during NaBloPoMo. But please come back anyway.)